When saying (yelling) no doesn't work

cali_girl92504

DD thinks it is funny when we say no - both in a stern voice and when we yell it. Only a handful of times has she realized no means no and cried. Mostly, we are dealing with her dumping Spike's food all over the floor or dumping it in his water bowl. She kicks her feet and thinks it is funny when we say no. We've also tried a "time out" sort of thing where we pick her up and have her face the back of the sofa with us sitting next to her. She just stares at us like "what?"

Tips? How is our stern no funny to her? We have tried so many variations that we're just at a loss. A friend's kid who is just a few weeks older listens to no so nicely...from across the room. Le sigh.

savannah11

We used physical removal from the situation.  So the dog food dumping would get a no as I'm carrying him/her to the other room.  If it happens again, repeat.  It usually takes a couple of times until they realize you mean it.  

cali_girl92504

savannah11:

We used physical removal from the situation.  So the dog food dumping would get a no as I'm carrying him/her to the other room.  If it happens again, repeat.  It usually takes a couple of times until they realize you mean it.  

Tried that and it works momentarily. She thinks it is a game though. We've been doing this for weeks. I think she knows she isn't supposed to do since keeps looking back at me while she's walking towards the bowl. 

Cajun_gal

I'm guessing you're also specific like saying "don't touch the dog's bowls" in addition to "no"? Dylan didn't get it until he was a bit older but we noticed "no" doesn't work very well but telling him specifically what not to do does. We also moved the dog's bowls far away from where he plays to help the temptation. Other than that, I'd say keep doing what you're doing and hopefully she'll get it soon.

cali_girl92504

Cajun_gal:

I'm guessing you're also specific like saying "don't touch the dog's bowls" in addition to "no"? Dylan didn't get it until he was a bit older but we noticed "no" doesn't work very well but telling him specifically what not to do does. We also moved the dog's bowls far away from where he plays to help the temptation. Other than that, I'd say keep doing what you're doing and hopefully she'll get it soon.

Yes, we are. We say "no touch" - is that not specific enough? I can try to say don't touch the dog bowl and see if that helps. I swear, she understands and she does it anyway. She looks over her shoulder and smiles as she go straight for the bowl.

We usually pick it up but then the poor dog wants his food. And when we moved it to other parts of the house, he'd keep scratching where it usually goes when he wanted to eat. I would take him over to the new place but he'd either not eat there or he'd take some food, walk allllllll the way back to where he usually eats and chew it there. Rinse, repeat. Trying to make this as easy on my poor dog as possible.

cali_girl92504

I should add we don't want to be yelling at her. Redirection, stern no, none of that is working and it has been since she started crawling so MONTHS. This is the only thing she misbehaves on really. Well, that and tossing her food or sippy cup over the side of the highchair when she's done with them. Fun mess.

princessmah

I'm anxious to see the responses you get.  We are dealing with the same thing! The two misbehaviors are throwing her toys everywhere and climbing all over the furniture.  We do the stern no and she looks in my eyes, laughs, shakes her finger and says no and then tries to continue doing what she was doing.  I just have to remove her from the situation, but I don't think it is teaching her NOT to throw toys, climb, etc.  

SigmundsGirl

We have done redirection (where is Evan's car?), saying "No - don't touch" in a stern voice, removing from the situation as we say No, and even a pop on the leg. We still get laughs. I don't think there is much you can do. Last night when he was touching something he wasn't supposed to I was saying no as I was walking over to him and he giggled as he ran away. It is still a game.

DH had a little luck when he held Evan's hands together and said No, then kept eye contact without cracking a smile, but it only lasted a few minutes. Le sigh is right.

TexasAgMel

I may get flamed for this 

 At that age, we tapped the tap of his hands while saying "No, no" and then did the redirection thing up to 3X. After the third time, he went to the play pen. Not that he hated it (because he had toys in there), it was just another step of the process.  So it wasn't really a punishment, but it was a bit more than simple redirection. We also asked, "Do you want to go to the play pen?" in a different tone beforehand.

 

Suzi-G-

Personally I kind of think discipline at this age is a lost cause.  You redirect, redirect, redirect, say no, yell no, remove them from the situation... whatever you choose to do you're going to be doing it over and over again.  Eventually they grow out of it and move onto something else.  They really aren't being bad, they're just so curious and busy.  In the meantime I try and remind myself to focus on the big picture and not yell "NO" 9,000 times a day. 

cali_girl92504

Suzi-G-:

Personally I kind of think discipline at this age is a lost cause.  You redirect, redirect, redirect, say no, yell no, remove them from the situation... whatever you choose to do you're going to be doing it over and over again.  Eventually they grow out of it and move onto something else.  They really aren't being bad, they're just so curious and busy.  In the meantime I try and remind myself to focus on the big picture and not yell "NO" 9,000 times a day. 

Okay, thank you. I just wanted to make sure someone else felt this way too. We are still going to "discipline" but I have come to terms that it's for my benefit more than hers right now.  At least I am TRYING to get her to stop rather than letting her do whatever she pleases.

jen5-03

This doesn't really translate with inanimate objects but when he hurts sister or the cat I try to quietly say no, set him aside, and then pay attention to his victim instead of him. The bigger the reaction, the funnier Samuel thinks it is. He also laughs and shouts "DOWN!" as he climbs the back of the couch. And my oven is now held closed with duct tape because he likes to open it and no baby latch has worked on it.

Any way you can block off the area? I had massive baby gates when E was little. The cats could get through gaps in the furniture (between solid end table and couch) but baby couldn't get through. Now the food is in the laundry room and I put a chain latch on the door so that it can stay open enough for the cats but S can't get in. Obviously these would only work for a small dog though.

cali_girl92504

jen5/03:

This doesn't really translate with inanimate objects but when he hurts sister or the cat I try to quietly say no, set him aside, and then pay attention to his victim instead of him. The bigger the reaction, the funnier Samuel thinks it is. He also laughs and shouts "DOWN!" as he climbs the back of the couch. And my oven is now held closed with duct tape because he likes to open it and no baby latch has worked on it.

Any way you can block off the area? I had massive baby gates when E was little. The cats could get through gaps in the furniture (between solid end table and couch) but baby couldn't get through. Now the food is in the laundry room and I put a chain latch on the door so that it can stay open enough for the cats but S can't get in. Obviously these would only work for a small dog though.

I wish. Then my 7 lb dog couldn't get to his food. We are actually using his baby gate on the stairs to keep DD away from them - they served the same purpose when he was a puppy. He grazes so no set time for meals either. He typically likes to eat when we do which is why he likes his bowl by our breakfast table. 

rayskit10

cali_girl92504:

Suzi-G-:

Personally I kind of think discipline at this age is a lost cause.  You redirect, redirect, redirect, say no, yell no, remove them from the situation... whatever you choose to do you're going to be doing it over and over again.  Eventually they grow out of it and move onto something else.  They really aren't being bad, they're just so curious and busy.  In the meantime I try and remind myself to focus on the big picture and not yell "NO" 9,000 times a day. 

Okay, thank you. I just wanted to make sure someone else felt this way too. We are still going to "discipline" but I have come to terms that it's for my benefit more than hers right now.  At least I am TRYING to get her to stop rather than letting her do whatever she pleases.

I'm in this camp too. The communication and the meanings of words are not 100% and you have to do the best you can. And yes, they are naturally exploring.

M's teacher, who is brilliant with the kids, always says "You may not touch X, but you can come here and do this..." as she redirects. It's amazing. We have started always giving an alternative for BOTH boys, not just M, and it's a miracle. It immediately gives them something to focus on, taking their mind off the naughty thing while also letting them no what they were doing is unwelcome. Also, I think when she does it, you may want to make her start cleaning it up. That was she understands the consequences a little more. 

Nanner

cali_girl92504:

We are still going to "discipline" but I have come to terms that it's for my benefit more than hers right now.  

I think this is important to keep in mind.  Even if the child isn't listening yet, it is important to get into the habit of being consistent with your discipline, because in the near future, she WILL be listening and it IS going to make a difference.  

Temp38995750004016

rayskit10:

M's teacher, who is brilliant with the kids, always says "You may not touch X, but you can come here and do this..." as she redirects. It's amazing. We have started always giving an alternative for BOTH boys, not just M, and it's a miracle. It immediately gives them something to focus on, taking their mind off the naughty thing while also letting them no what they were doing is unwelcome. Also, I think when she does it, you may want to make her start cleaning it up. That was she understands the consequences a little more. 

This is what I've been reading a lot of...giving an alternative rather than a no, which is what we've always tried to do with our dogs.  Weird.  I'm not sure at what age it's really effective, but it's something I'm going to try to keep in mind.