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D.C. Area Babies
Tell me it gets easier
Pre-pregnancy, I always stood in awe of working moms, as I regularly struggled with getting my singular self out the door and too my desk by 8:30am. Now, with C needing a daycare pickup by 5:30pm, I needed to adjust my hours to 7:45am-4:15pm. I set my alarm for 5:15am (which I didn't even HEAR until 5:50), and finally made it to my desk by 8:20, which included nursing and changing a very sleepy C and my hour commute. DH does daycare dropoff, so he has to do the second change and get C dressed and out the door.
I would love to hold even earlier hours so I could have some extra evening time with C before he goes to bed, but with my hour commute, I'm thinking it's not going to be possible.
Please tell me it gets easier as the routine sets in!!
ETA - Even though this economy sucks and I am greatful to have the job that I have, I am seriously considering starting to search for jobs closer to home just to shave off some of that commute time.
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Re: Tell me it gets easier
If mornings are a struggle, you may want to minimize the amount of things you have to do in the morning to get ready. I make all of M's bottles and his food for daycare the night before. Before I go to bed, I pack my work bag and set up the coffee maker. I also take my coffee with me in a travel cup instead of drinking it at home. I eat breakfast at my desk when I get to work. I wear minimal makeup and often just put my hair up in a ponytail. I also shower at night sometimes.
The first couple of weeks are really hard, but you'll eventually find a routine that works for you. I won't lie -- there are still days when I feel exhausted and overwhelmed and like I don't have time to get anything done. But it does get better!
It does get easier. All the sudden at about 7.5 months, I was finally getting out in under 2 hours (I do mornings by myself). I will say that some of the change has to do with not breastfeeding. My goal was 6 months, which is what I did. Not having to pump in the morning makes a HUGE difference.
It will get easier, but I wouldn't want an hour commute, baby or no baby (although some mornings my commute is 40 minutes, blech). I'd be looking for a new job too.
I don't know how long it takes C to eat these days, but when M was 3 months, it still took him 30 minutes to nurse. He got much faster around 4 or 5 months. Now a nursing session lasts 5-10 minutes. So that made our morning routines much faster.
Does your 1-hour commute include daycare pickup, or does it take you even longer to get home in the evening?
I am not sure it ever gets easier, but it does change. I don't have to worry about pumping anymore but I do have the challenges of breakfast (and the great debate on what to have from DD) and the whole getting dressed/getting out of the house quickly.
I do still pack her bag, figure out my clothes, figure out her clothes, have my lunch ready all the night before. DH leaves earlier for work so I have most of the morning routine by myself and then he does the afternoon pick-up.
From someone who has a short commute- it is so great to have that extra time.
I think it does get easier as you get in the groove but I also think a 1 hour commute is going to be rough for the long term. I used to have a very long commute and I took a lower paying job that was 2 miles from home which was one of the best decisions I made for my quality of life. Being closer to home also makes it easier for those days where the daycare calls you because your kid is sick. So, I think your idea of trying to find a job closer to home would be a good idea for the long-term. But in the meantime, I think it will get easier. I try to do as much as possible at night so to make my mornings go more smoothly.
An hour commute throws a wrench in the works, I know because that's my commute too. It sucks. I wake up at 5:30 to be out the door with kids/DH by 7:15 or 7:20. We all roll in from pick up/commute in the afternoon around 5:30 and sometimes 6:00. It's a long day.
I'm totally jealous of my back door neighbors, who both work and have two kids, but their commutes are like 15 minutes. So when we're leaving the house at 7:20, I look through our back window and their lights aren't even on yet - they aren't even out of bed!! When we get home at 5:30 or 6:00, they're out for their evening stroll around the neighborhood - they've already gotten home, had a snack, gotten into their walking shoes, grabbed their dog and they're lollygagging around the block - and then they roll by our house and knock on the door to say hi, and we're like "good grief we just walked in the door" - I haven't even set down my purse or my baby yet.
I have a very specific job, that I love, that pays well, in which I daily use my knowledge from both of my degrees, and well, it's just one of those things - it is pretty much out of the question for me to just find another job closer to home. And when we bought our house, we bought as close as we possibly could to my job - and we're still an hour commute away.
All of this is to say - if I could switch jobs to shorten my commute I would TOTALLY do it. If you have that option - start exploring it!
It will get easier... you will find a routine that works well for you.
I also have a 1 hr commute (door to door - 30min on the train itself...) - and, I have often thought "hmmm... I should get a job closer to home...." BUT, I love my job. So, I've decided it's not in my (our) best interest.
On the other hand, DH isn't as committed to his job. We would love it if he could find a job closer to home. When he does, it will make things easier on all of us.
Seriously, I'd think hard about how you feel about your job, and what types of stuff might be available nearby. I"m thinking your job is probably pretty specialized, though?
When I broke my leg last year, I was on a similar schedule to yours (getting up sooo early to catch my ride into town at 6AM).... it took me a good two weeks to adjust to the earlier hours. And, I got used to taking showers at night (which I HATE doing!) It sucked, but, after awhile, it felt kind of nice to be up at the crack of dawn. It was really peaceful, and I got a lot done at work. I was surprised, because I'm not really a morning person.
All very good advice. We try to do the absolute minimal amount of stuff in the mornings. In fact, when C was an infant and it was still cool out, we often didn't even change him out of his footie pajamas before leaving the house.
It gets easier. Sooo much easier. Especially when you can toss them a sippy of milk instead of dedicating a half hour to nursing. I know I'm repeating myself because I've said this in a bunch of posts - but DH now does the mornings solo and he and C are out the door in about 15-20 minutes (DCP does breakfast).
DD has went to daycare more than once in pajamas, especially when she was an itty bitty baby!
Actually, her shirt today says "catnap".... think anyone will notice it's a pajama top??? She has a totally goofy outfit today, b/c they were the only clean items we could find this morning... the long sleeve catnap shirt (with a picture of a cat sleeping in mittens and a winter hat), a bright pink short skirt, bright pink socks, and tennis shoes. oh well. I'll blame it on DH. heheheheh.
great advice from PPs. Why are you changing your LO in the mornings when DH does the same a couple of hours later? I no longer change b/w bedtime and wake-up-for-the-day unless there's poop. As LO gets older, there'll be less pooping. It will get easier. Does not hurt to look for a job closer to home, though, that's for sure!
It does get easier! I didn't read the other replies, but it is so hard because you just settled into your new routine and then you have to start another. Soon, this will become the new routine and you won't even think twice about it. And I really have found it amazing how you just flex with all the growth and development changes...I used to think when he was around 3 months how I was going to do it when he got to each of the next stages with working and everything - and it just flows.
You'll get there! Patience and time