School-Aged Children
fraservalleybride
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Mook's Who are Pregnant and have 2nd Child on the way!
fraservalleybride
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MOOK's=mothers of older kids!
How did your 5 plus yr old react to having a sibling on the way?
Did you prepare him or her for baby coming?
What kinda conversations have you had, in regards to when baby comes.. like telling him how things might change?
If your baby is already born, how has ds/dd been with the baby?
If your baby is already born, how have you involved ds or dd with being the big brother or sister?
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Re: Mook's Who are Pregnant and have 2nd Child on the way!
We found out we were expecting a month after my DD turned 5. We told her right away, she didn't really care.
She also didn't really care while I was pregnant. She would have her days that she would be super excited, especially when she got to tell people, but other than that, life went on as usual for her.
We did a sibling class a few weeks before my due date, and she liked it.
The baby is 2 weeks old now, and DD loves her but honestly, it hasn't changed much for her either. She was VERY independent. She likes to dress herself, pick out her own food, she plays alone. So me having to take care of the baby doesn't really phase her.
The first couple days she went through a miserable phase and told me she was feeling left out. I made a point to spend just us time together every day since then, and she's good. We have our mommy and me time and she loves to hold and kiss the baby.
She's done much better than I expected. But I think every kid is going to be different. I also think I made too big of a deal about it before the baby was born. She heard how busy mommy was going to be so often, that I think it started to freak her out without it really needing to. I can be with both of them pretty well.
I think having an older kid is easier than if they were closer together in age. But that's just how it worked out for us.
Sorry this turned into a novel! haha.
Baby #4; 7/7/2018
No worries .. i was looking for detailed answers!!
I found out probably not evena month after DS turned 5. I also told but him right away and he was one who helped announce big news to family!
My DS he's interested, he'll touch my belly, he'll talk to his brother if i ask him, be interested if baby is kicking !
I wish i had that resource of a sibling class.. what happened in the class?
Same with My DS he has gotton used to be independent but naturally i think he is thatt way.
I hope with my husband around, and family nearby he wont feel left out. I plan to set aside special time just for him, and dh to spend special guy time . Hopefully involving him in being mommy's big helper will be good for him as well!
Ds has a different dad i was never really with to begin with.. but noneless DS was and is my lil blessing. So i waited until i was married to have another, i think having an older child will be easier, be neat to have a child close together but it's ok!
DS was 6 when I got pregnant. He was very excited about the new baby.
We didn't do much to prepare him. He had been around a few babies so he had a rough idea what to expect....they're cute, you have to be careful, they cry a lot, that sort of thing.
He was awesome with DD from the beginning. He didn't mind her crying at all, he'd just turn up the tv
He was such a helper. He would hold her bottle and fetch her pacifiers and diapers. He would play with her. We had a joke between us that his baby sister was always asking her big brother for things...we'd use a funny voice and say things like "Hey brother! Come on, give me some of that food you have! This milk stuff sucks!"
They are 9 and 2 yrs old now. They play together a lot, he does really well with her. She adores him, she always wants to hang out with him.
Ds hasnt been around babies at all..
He says he's going to be a big brother.. just like his school buddy is a big buddy to him too cute he said to me tonite!
One thing he is a li possessive of his toys.. but thankgoodness i dont have to worry about sharing for awhile.. and by then..he'll be outgrown of the toys he plays with now
9 Years Later
DD is 6 and will be 7 in August. She's been asking when she was going to be having a brother or sister. So when the time came to tell her, we got her the I'm a big sister book and wrapped it up. She's really excited about the baby and has all kinds of plans to share rooms and whatnot. Right now we're trying to do alot of fun things with her. We just got back from Disneyland on Saturday. We're also planning on a camping trip.
We have to ocassional chat about her being more independent with getting herself dressed for school in the mornings. She'll have to be on top of cleaning up after herself and not leaving her little toys all over the ground.
DS1 was 11 when his little brother was born. We told him first and he was actually surprised, happy and I think a twinge of "Oh, i"m not the only one now" feeling came passing through. We talked about things of how much time the baby is going need me and he's older and he doesn't need constant attention from me (which he knew anyway but trying to get the point of the baby will be needing me so much). I told him some things may change with what times I can pick him up or take him to a friend's house (DH lives in another state so it's just me), or whatever else that may slightly change.
My kids adore each other. LO just stares and smiles at my oldest and DS1 talks and is sort of "playing" with him now too which is great. We've had some moments of getting used to a few things but nothing major. Since DS1 is older, I sent him to a babysitting class for the future. He will sit and watch LO if I need to take a quick shower or something. If I ask him to get me a diaper or something, he'll do it and always carries the diaper bag for me. He's a big help.
How did your 5 plus yr old react to having a sibling on the way? Well when we told her, she was a bit confused (she was 5.5 at the time). I remember saying, "You're going to be a big sister!" and she was like, "Now?" and then her next comment was, "But I don't see you getting fat!"
Did you prepare him or her for baby coming? We had quite a few books about being a sister, and we did our best to prepare her, obviously.
What kinda conversations have you had, in regards to when baby comes.. like telling him how things might change? We had quite a few. DD was our current "baby" and I will confess we babied her too much. So we started to ease off a bit, and explained that we couldn't do XYZ with her once the baby was born because the baby would have needs. (Like sitting on the floor of her room while she fell asleep.)
If your baby is already born, how has ds/dd been with the baby? DD is excellent. She absolutely LOVES LOVES LOVES her little brother. I would say that the 2 most concerning things are that when we're in public or around anyone besides DH and I, she gets REALLY up in DS's face and tries to hog the spotlight. She'll be off doing her own thing but as soon as someone pays attention to DS, she's right there next to him doing something to him so they're paying attention to her, too. And we can't ever video DS--as soon as I get the camera going, she's right there, too, usually taking up most of the frame. We try to remind her that she had everyone's attention for 6 years and now it's his turn, that people are still interested in her but not because of him--they want to know how she is (like how is school, etc.). She is very helpful with him but she also can be very overbearing to him--hugging him too much, kissing him too much, etc. But he adores her, too. As soon as he sees her he breaks into a big grin. She was the first person he ever laughed at.
If your baby is already born, how have you involved ds or dd with being the big brother or sister? We involve DD in everything. She got to hold DS (and gets to hold DS) a lot. My DH works nights and some nights it was so crazy that I'd have to put him on a Boppy on her lap so I could just run and pee. She gives him the occasional bottle. She gets down on the play mat and plays with him.
thank you ladies i've enjoyed reading what everyone has posted!
Maggee i think it's a grreat plus of having an older lo they are in school and you get that quality time with the new baby! I hope we'll have a decently good transitioning time like you and your family had, we've been a family of 3 for so long.. i know everything will be fine but im so nervous about having 2 kids!
Ds 1 birthday is in august... should i do a play place and have everything done for me.. or do a very low key party at home and be more comfy with the baby