O woe is me!

SarahD30

I am kinda tired of everyone else in my lifes bitchin. When do I get to complain. My H think the boys are "very stressful" and "has a very high stress job". Whaa. He won't say it but thinks EVERYTHING at home is my job bc I don't work anymore. We have an 11 year old daughter who has autism and epilepsy and the boys are 5 months actual and 3 months adjusted. I'm tired! My comes and helps during the day some so I can clean and it helps so much. I know I have so much to be thankful for sometes I just want to rest and would love for my H to give me a little credit. I may not have a "job" but I sure do work a lot. Making dr appts, therapy appts, dinners, baths, ect. So sorry for the rant I just don't have anyone to talk to. All my friends have vanished and my family thinks I'm a B now bc I just don't have time for bs right now. Thanks

SpinningJess

That stinks, I hate men who think being a SAHM isn't any work.  I'm not one but give me 3 days at home alone with my son and I'm exhausted trying to keep up LOL  I'm lucking in the hubby department, but I know a lot of ladies deal with this.  Sorry!

KozieKim

You definitely have your hands full. It sad that some DH cant see how waring being a SAHM can be. I am lucky that mine realizes his job doesnt compare to having to negotiate with a toddler everyday. We are here for you if your fair weather friends continue to disappear =(

MADforever2009

vent, vent, vent away!!!!! Thats all i do these days.  You have a lot going on and no one should ever tell anyone their "job" is less stressful than anyone elses ESPECIALLY if theyve never done it.  Hang in there.

amanda31H

You definitely sound like you have a lot going on.  As far as your DH goes, you need to talk to him.  Try to do it when you're not pissed either.  Has he spent time alone with all the kids?  That's always a big wake up call.  My DH makes no secret to our family and friends that my job is 1,000 times harder than his high pressure finance job.  He used to tell everyone that when the girls were newborns he LOVED Mondays because he got to "relax" at work!

I'm just struck by the fact that you mentioned that your friends have vanished and your family thinks you're a B....

I think it's easy to get caught up in how difficult our lives are and discount challenges that other people have.  Did I think that I had more work because I had two newborns vs my friend that only had one?  Yep.  Did that mean she didn't have a right to get stressed out or vent about her challenges? Nope.  Everyone has their own kind of hard.  If your friends have vanished and your family thinks you're a B, I'd personally think hard about how I'd been behaving and what I'd said recently. 

atc282

First, sorry you are going through a rough time. As far as DH issues, I'd make sure I just fessed up how I was feeling (I def. had to do this in the past w/ my DH) and while you respect he has a "high stress" job, that he needs to recognize yours is "high stress" too...w/o even a paycheck to show for what we do! Like others posted, let him get a taste (book an afternoon away for yourself on a Sat. or Sun. and let him bond yet see what it's like w/o having SO near).

As far as friends and family, I again would be upfront and say "I feel like we're growing apart lately." Perhaps they're under the assumption that you're too busy/tired to get together, etc. I will say though that I can relate when I was going through a rough patch (I hated where we lived, took care of DDs 24/7 w/ DH's crazy work hours, went back to school and was trying to balance studying and caring for LOs...stress overload)--while I'm sure I b*tched a lot and wasn't the most pleasant person to talk to, I had to verbally iterate to my mom and a few close friends that I was sorry I was so frazzled lately but it was actually their relationships that kept me in check, kwim? Make sure it's not You that is pushing them away....

FWIW, I started working PT (2-3 days/wk) and I gotta say, I look forward to those days. I get adult conversation, I can stop at Starbucks without having to lug out the stroller, etc. if I want, and I have a "real" lunch break (not grabbing something on the fly for once). All to say, it took getting back into work make me realize how happy it makes me. Not sure if it's an option for you, but if you know you've been happier when you were working, maybe look for something PT?

Hang in there and hope you are feeling better asap!! 

SarahD30

Thanks to all! I guess I'm just having one of those days. I did kinda speak my mind last night with DH and I hope it helps some even if it only makes me feel better. As far as my friends I have been not invited to girls night the last few times bc they thought I would be to busy. I am trying to schedule something myself so it's in my hands. And for my family I think they see frustrated and I do tend to get short with them (sister, dad mostly). They are not used to me speaking my mind. Than happens when you are exhausted I think it makes me have a short fuse. Thank you all for the ear.