Random Fact & "dumb" question

1220winterbride · April 2011

I was talking to a guyfriend this weekend. He knows about my loss and he shared about his. He's divorced but he said it wasn't planned but she got KU and then lost the baby very early.

But that isn't the random part...she was charting, temping and who knows what else. She is a PhD candidate and I'm pretty sure it wasn't an accident on her part.

Would you ever consider TTC behind DH's back?

jen629 · April 2011

So SHE had it planned he just didn'tknow until after ..wow...um no I couldn't do that personally

rosenb2b · April 2011

Holy crap, No! I want him to be a part of it and marriage is a partnership built on honesty. YIKES!

emeraudecephiro · April 2011

I don't think I would consider it even if I had reason to. Some people think a baby will fix their relationship, I guess. I guess I can see a reason if they both agreed to not have kids but she changed her mind...but I would not do it personally.

williams4me · April 2011

jen629:
So SHE had it planned he just didn't know until after ..wow...um no I couldn't do that personally

This. Glad my DH is on board!!

xnbride · April 2011

No, but I was never put in that predicament. It would be so hard if we were not on the same page. Luckily my DH is a very smart man and knows not to interfere with a woman's ticking clock LOL.

1220winterbride · April 2011

I know! I am looking at him and thinking, dude that wasn't an accident. You were TTC!

& Now i'm a lot less surprised they are divorced. sigh.

jertie · April 2011

Indifferent Wow. Definitely sounds like she knew what she was doing. And no, I would never do that to DH, I think it's important for both potential parents to be on the same page when it comes to major decisions and this one absolutely falls under that heading.

1220winterbride · April 2011

xnbride:
No, but I was never put in that predicament. It would be so hard if we were not on the same page. Luckily my DH is a very smart man and knows not to interfere with a woman's ticking clock LOL.

exactly, my poor DH. He just goes with the flow...and he really wants a daughter!

celineg · April 2011

Surprise No, I could never do that. I'm a bit older than DH and I was ready before he was. I had to do a lot of convince before we first started TTC. After my first m/c, I didn't need to do any convincing, and now he's more ready than ever.

1220winterbride · April 2011

celineg:

No, I could never do that. I'm a bit older than DH and I was ready before he was. I had to do a lot of convince before we first started TTC. After my first m/c, I didn't need to do any convincing, and now he's more ready than ever.

It never even occured to me. We weren't always on the same page w/ baby production but I always wanted a happy cohesive marriage as a precedent. The last thing I can imagine is living a shiz marriage + kids , family vacations, budgets all based on a lie. yikes

yeliza h · April 2011

1220winterbride:

I know! I am looking at him and thinking, dude that wasn't an accident. You were TTC!

& Now i'm a lot less surprised they are divorced. sigh.

Yea he just didn't know it. smh.

MrsMitty08 · April 2011

No way!

mandy6418 · April 2011

I could never TTC without FI knowing. Thats just crazy!

kellbelle618 · April 2011

I would never TTC behind DH's back! How crazy!

1220winterbride · April 2011

And he is so goofy. He really doesn't suspect a thing!

momtoboo · April 2011

if she's doing it about a baby then she's planning and conniving about other things. i wouldn't jmo.

happygolucky0505 · April 2011

Not so much....

mommymoore2011 · April 2011

This sounds horrible but I would consider TTC without my fiance's knowledge if I were living on my own and ready to do this on my own. BUT a husband or the situation I'm in now ABSOLUTELY NOT, that's something I couldn't do.

MrsMeMo · April 2011

Never! It amazes me that women who do that are surprised when they become single mothers down the road because the man wasn't ready for that commitment.