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I am soooo angry!

thewormstheworms member
in Infertility Veterans

i fuckken hate IF!!

why is so hard for kind, loving, generous people to become parents?  seriously,  every other douchebag on the street has sex and gets pregnant.

i am heart-broken for KED and all of us.  this is so unfair.

FUCKKK YOU IF!

UGH!!!  I want to punch people and vomit on them.

 

image
Worrying does not empty tomorrow of its troubles, It empties today of its strength. ~Corrie ten Boom
Courage doesn't always roar. Sometimes courage is the little voice at the end of the day that says I'll try again tomorrow. ~Mary Anne Radmacher (thank you beadinglady)

It's been a long journey. TTC since 9/06. multiple IUI's and IVF's and 4 m/c's. IVF#3 = BFP, twins, induced at 34w6d due to baby b passing away (no explanation). Delivered on 35w1d, Baby A - baby girl, and Baby B - baby boy, our little angel.
MTHFR A1298C & C677T, Immune Issues and Factor II
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Re: I am soooo angry!

  • JackieMac824JackieMac824 member
    I agree 100% - people who want children and can afford to have them should be allowed to have them - why does IF even exist - it is so horrible - I hate IF.
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  • smileesmilee member

    As I just texted you.. I feel sick to my stomach.

    Ked, sweetie, I wish I had words for you.  Instead I will offer up the biggest hug I can give you.

    This is not fair.  Just so not fair.   

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  • vanessagorcvanessagorc member

    Ur so right...there is no Justice in IF.  The world is working backwards of how it should. 

    I'm so angry for Ked, and for all of us who have to be here.

    It's unfair, it's BS, and it sucks ass.

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  • AmberB75AmberB75
    Agreed!!!  There should some sort of threshold of pain and heartache that once reached guarantees a baby in your arms.  God knows everyone on here has shown their willingness to put their whole selves into parenthood.
    DS born 10/2008 TTC #2 since 8/2009 MFI and natural killer cell activation diagnosis IVF #4 = BFP!! Due 10/12!!
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  • mainesmichellemainesmichelle member
    I agree 100%!! 
    Michelle
    Blythe Elizabeth is here March 27,2012
    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker
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  • Edwina.McDunnoughEdwina.McDunnough
    Exactly.
    +++
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  • emcaemca member
    I agree 100%!!!!!  IF sucks. 

    After 1 IUI, 3 IVF's with CGH/CCS testing, 10 early miscarriages, and lots of tears and frustration, we are moving on to Domestic Infant Adoption!  We are so excited to see what the future holds.

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  • STL34STL34 member
    I agree completely!  There are way too many ladies having to deal with IF that would make much better mommies than many ladies that don't struggle at all.  It is so heart breaking and completely unfair!  I hate IF!!

    imageimage


    ~SAIF/PAIF/Everyone Welcome~ 

    Me= 37 and DH = 41 

    Dx: DOR, Endo, APA+ (really high beta 2 glycoprotein antibody and high everything else tested), heterozygous MTHFR mutation, positive for lupus anticoagulant, high FSH, low AMH and both tubes blocked (per HSG on 3/8/11)

    IVF #1 - long lupron (with HGH, intralipids, lovenox and BA); 4 retrieved, 3 fertilized; ET 2 blasts and 1 frozen = BFN

    IVF #2 - a version of antagonist with EPP (with HGH, intralipids, lovenox and BA); 6 retrieved, 4 mature, 3 fertilized, 2 blasts and 1 frozen blast transferred on day 5 = BFN.

    IVF #3 April was postponed to May, May was canceled. June/July was canceled. Had a cyst aspiration and then began IVF #3 in August. ER on 8/22; ET on 8/24 with AH. +HPT on 9/5. Beta #1 (11dpo) = 3; Beta #2 (15dpo) = 29; Beta #3 (17dpo) = 60; Beta #4 (19 dpo) = 118. Heartbeat at 6 weeks 6 days =132.  Lil is here!

    TTC#2:  Trigger + TI = BFN; Clomid + Trigger + IUI = BFN.

    IVF #4:  BCP + MDLF + Lovenox = 7R, 1F = Transferred 1 6-cell embryo on day 3 = BFN

    IVF #5:  MDLF + Lovenox = 4R, 1F = Transferred 1 10-cell compacting embryo on day 3 = BFN

    IVF #6:  (New RE):  Long Antagonist November 2014 (transferred two 8 cell grade 1 embryos and froze one blast) = BFN

    FET#1:  BFN

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  • koynkoyn member
    imagetheworms:

    i fuckken hate IF!!

    why is so hard for kind, loving, generous people to become parents?  seriously,  every other douchebag on the street has sex and gets pregnant.

    i am heart-broken for KED and all of us.  this is so unfair.

    FUCKKK YOU IF!

    UGH!!!  I want to punch people and vomit on them.

     

    You took the words out of my mouth

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  • jlcrane78jlcrane78 member
    Preach on sister!
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  • M&MBride0506M&MBride0506
    In total agreement. I'm so sad for ked and everyone that has to be here. ((hugs))) ked and everyone.
    My Wonderful Sister is my GC!!!! 3 IUIs, 2 unmedicated, 1 50mg of Clomid = All BFNs Next step IVF!!!! Melinda & Michael 5*6*06 God Bless The Broken Road
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  • MBfromBMCMBfromBMC
    Soooooo unfair!  My heart breaks for you, ked!  FUIF!
    imageimageimage

    TTC since March 2009 // Me and DH - 28
    Testing Summer/Fall 2010 - Unexplained IF
    IUIs #1-4 ~ Clomid/Ovidrel/TI/IUI ~ all BFNs
    IUI #5 ~ Femara/Ovidrel/TI/IUI ~ BFN
    IUIs #6-9 ~ Research Study Meds/Pregnyl/TI/IUI ~ all BFNs
    IVF Consultation, More Testing
    Diagnostic Cycle ~ Mucinex/Progesterone/TI ~ BFN
    IVF #1 ~ Menopur/Bravelle/Ganirelix/Novarel/Progesterone/Lupron
    7R, 6F // 2 transferred // 3 frosties ~ BFN
    FET #1 ~ Estrace/PIO/Lupron
    3 thawed // 2 transferred // 1 lost // no more frosties ~ BFP!!
    Beta #1 - 456 // Beta #2 - 1176 // Beta #3 - 2933 // Beta #4 - 6753
    EDD: May 16, 2013
    Threatened MC at 6w2d
    Bedrest for SCH // 6w2d through 10w1d
    Elevated TSH and Lazy Thyroid DX @ 10w - Started Synthroid
    Finally released from RE at 13w
    Charles Everett ~ Born 5/20/2013

    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker


    ~~ My IF Blog ~~ 

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  • MelicakesMelicakes member
    1 million percent agree!!!!!!!!!!!!! So heartbreaking ....
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  • meg_koolemeg_koole
    I can't agree more either.....
    Our Blog - http://thedittemores.blogspot.com/
    Dx PCOS 2003/high fasting insulin/clotting issues DH Dx with low sperm count, motility and morphology. Varicocele repair (11/1/2010)
    2/2011 - Confirmed no improvement - On to Donor Sperm
    4 failed IUIs in 2010
    IUI#5 and 6- with DS, BFN
    Final IUI - Lucky #7! IUI with DS - 20.Jun.2011 - 21.5 mil motile! Not so lucky - BFFN and the end of our IF journey....
    Waiting for our family to be complete through Adoption - May 2012 - Hoping our baby finds us soon!
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  • mdluv21mdluv21
    IF and loss suck some serious ass.  I hate it and it is beyond unfair.
    TTC since 07/2009
    Me: PCOS, Blood/Immune Issues DH: Low all 3
    Jun.- Sep. 2010 IUI#1-#3 = BFN
    Oct. 2010 = IVF #1 = B/G Twins (passed away Feb. 2011)
    May 2011 = Myomectomy and trans-abdominal cerclage (TAC)
    Sep. 2011 = Surprise BFP = C/P
    Feb. 2012 = sFET #1 = BFN
    Feb.2012 = Hail Mary IUI #4 = BFN
    April/May 2012 = FET #2 w/our last two embies = BFP (Please let this be it!)
    Beta #1 8dp5/6dt = 234 Beta #2 10dp5/6dt = 695 Beta #3 12dp5/6dt = 1796 Beta #4 17dp5/6dt = 17,888 U/S #1 May 17, 2012 = Twins
    Baby B's heart stop beating at 9 weeks 5 days
    Our little miracle baby is a boy. :)

    Baby Boy Owen and Baby Girl Avery were born too early on Feb. 13, 2011 due to a pedunculated fibroid, incompetent cervix and suspected placental abruption.
    Lilypie Angel and Memorial tickers

    "What the heart has once owned and had, it shall never lose." - Henry Ward Beecher
    SAIF/PAIF Welcome
    Lots of love and luck to my PAIF/3T/IF Veteran ladies, especially my dear friend Zookie. Congrats to Papps, Teach84 and Starbuck on their little ones.
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  • may2806may2806 member
    I can't think of one good reason why we are all being put through this. I don't care that it's making me a better, stronger person, or that eventually I'll have my child one way or another, etc. I want this to end NOW for all of us! 
    Dx: High FSH, stage IV endo, homozygous C677T MTHFR and PAI-1
    Early loss 10/08
    Lap 1/09
    IVF #1 "natural IVF" - 1 egg retrieved, missed m/c
    Tried several mini-stim cycles with no response
    Switched clinics - dx'd as carrier for Fragile X
    IVF #2 MDL protocol Jan/Feb converted to IUI, BFN
    IVF #2 take 2: Antagonist, one embie, BFN
    IVF #3: Antagonist, no fertilization
    One last ditch effort at OE IVF (antagonist with Clomid) cancelled
    DE cycle #1 Jan/Feb 2011, BFP, ectopic
    DE cycle #2 June/July 2011 - BFP
    10/28/11 Baby girl lost at 17 weeks due to pre-term labor. We love and miss you.
    DE cycle #3 June/July 2012 - BFP, twins, both heartbeats stopped, D&C
    2 frosties but don't know what's next
    FET Dec 2012: BFP! Praying this one sticks for the long haul!
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  • MAbride0808MAbride0808 member
    I agree 100%.  IF is unfair.
    TTC since Jan. 2010 DX Unexplained infertility
    3 IUI's w/Clomid & Ovidrel=all BFNs
    3 IVF (2 Fresh, 1 frozen) =BFN
    Jan 2012 New RE & Fresh Cycle =BFP!
    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker


    TTC #2 October 2014
    Meet with RE March 2015
    2 Frozen & 1 Fresh IVF= BFNs
    September 2015 Frozen ET=BFP!


    BabyFruit Ticker


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  • Sunshine05Sunshine05 member
    I completely agree with you.  It is so unfair.
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  • Imanurse03Imanurse03 member

    You said it so well.  It's not fair. For as long as I live, I'll never understand it.  I don't understand how people who struggle so much to even get pg then have to go through the loss of a pg that was so hard to achieve in the 1st place. 

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  • aq32aq32

    I couldnt not agree more! It makes me so angry and upset when I think about how easy it is for some people and people getting pregnant that dont even want or deserve kids.

    Ked, my thoughts are with you! HUGE HUGS. I am soooo sorry.

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  • sourpopsourpop
    F UCK IF!!!!!!!!
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  • slizsliz
    I am so sad and angry for Ked - and for anyone struggling with IF. I don't get why life is like this?
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  • softbalangelsoftbalangel
    I completely agree!
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  • MerryMarisaMerryMarisa

    Agreed - IF is the f*cking devil.

    TTC #1 w/ endo since Sept 2005. After many losses, a lap, tons of meds and tons of testing and, one failed IVF cycle, we were blown away with a surprise, sticky BFP...it's a girl!!! Lilypie Second Birthday tickers
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  • EchloeEchloe
    I hate this too. It isn't frickin fair. It should not be this hard. And none of us should have to suffer several times over.
    Beautiful Miracle Baby lost at 21 weeks due to pre-term labor and incompetent cervix. FET#1 BFN, FET#2 BFP, early loss. FET#3 BFN. IVF#2 BFFN. FET #4 BFP after removing bilateral hydrosalpinx and 3 months of lupron depot. Sticky Bun is here!! Image and video hosting by TinyPic Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker
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  • ladychicagoladychicago member
    News like this hurts in a very deep place. I just don't understand. :(
    Brought to you by IVF, ICSI, limited fert, and oocyte cryopreservation.
    Because we're fancy like that.

    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker

    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker
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  • Nesting.AwayNesting.Away
    So f#cking unfair.
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  • stei8086stei8086
    I will never understand IF and why it happens to such wonderful people!
    Diagnosis: MFI and Egg Quality Issues IVF#1-October-BFN ER-16 eggs, 8 mature, 7 fertilized, 2transferred and no frozen IVF#2- March-Beta 3/19 ER- 12 eggs, 8 mature, 7 fertilized, 2 transferred and 1 frozen-BFN. IVF#3 July ER-19 eggs, 13 mature, 10 fertilized...waiting til Day 5 to PGD. PGD results-4 out of 5 embryos are normal and will be banked. IVF#4 Sept 11' 22 eggs, 16 mature, 15 fertilized...waiting til Day 5 to PGD. Total normal embryos banked, quality varies: FET-Nov 11'-BFP Beta #1: 156, Beta #2: 489 First u/s revealed TWINS!! 2nd u/s= 2 beautiful heartbeats! 12/17 Lost one of the twins :(BabyFruit Ticker
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  • etoyamaetoyama member
    Such an *ss backward world. I couldn't agree more. >:O
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  • matt'sbridematt'sbride member

    LOUD NOISES!!!!!! (jk)

    IF sucks!!!!

    We also glory in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; perseverance, character; and character, hope. And HOPE does not dissappoint.
    Romans 5:3-5

    ~Matt and Jen~
    Married August 26, 2006
    TTC since June 2008
    Severe MFI
    IVF #1 Feb. 2011 = BFN
    IVF #2 (Long Lupron) May 2011 = BFP!!!
    Our sweet little girl, born January 26, 2012

    Time for #2!

    IVF #1 (Long Lupron) July 2013 = BFP!!!

    Beta #1 (8/1) 203! Beta #2 (8/8) 3,677! 1st u/s scheduled for 8/15!

    Lilypie Second Birthday tickers

    BabyFetus Ticker
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  • abvernonabvernon
    Word.
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  • Ginger71Ginger71 member
    This is the kind of stuff that makes me mad at the world. We just had a local story about a couple with a 15 mo. old and a 19 mo. old that they left in their car so they could have a few drinks in a bar. One of them was conceived via surrogate. Why can they have babies and we can't? Life is so unfair and it is really discouraging me lately. This sucks.
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  • perry7285perry7285 member
    well said. =(
    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker
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  • Tanya+DaTanya+Da

    YES!!!!!! And if one more person says "it will happen when it's YOUR time" or "G-d has a plan" I will effing go carnival-freak crazy on their a$$. Why is it a 16 year old crack head's time before mine? G-d's plan is NOT to have abused and addicted  babies. Stop giving me this crap, people!!!!!

    That is IT, IF. I have had it with you and and the way your treat my friends and I. Go away.

     

    Mommies to 5 fur babies!
    TTC#1 since 2004
    LGBT
    4 cycles @ home with known donor - BFN
    RE un-medicated IUI cycles # 1-7= BFN
    NEW RE Clomid 50mg/ Ovidrel/ IUI #8 BFN
    Took long break
    Nov 2009 - Clomid 50mg/ Ovidrel/IUI #9 = BFP
    Beta 12/4 - 10...Beta #2 12/7- 28 Beta #3 12/9 - 80!
    1st sonogram 12/28 - slow hb and growth
    m/c 1/1/2010 Courtland 8w0d
    Nov 2010 cycle cancelled - polyp removal/hysteroscopy
    April 4 2011 - IUI #10 BFFN
    July 5, 2011 - #11 BFFN AMH .62 Boo
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  • illinigalillinigal member

    Hugs.  I'm sorry you're so upset.  IF is such a cruel disease... I wouldn't wish this torture on anyone.  I hope we all get our sticky BFPs and take home babies very soon.

    TTC #1 since October 2008. Dealing with MFI.
    IVF #1 w ICSI in July 2010 = BFN
    IVF #2.1 in Oct 2010 converted to IUI = BFN
    IVF #2.2 w ICSI in Dec 2010 = BFN
    Met with new RE in new city on 1/31/11.
    IVF #3 w ICSI in April 2011. HPT on 5/9 = BFP!
    Beta #1 on 5/10 (10dp5dt) = 99.4. Beta #2 on 5/12 = 284. First u/s on 5/26. = Fraternal TWINS!
    Twin boys born & lost on 8/16/11 at 18w1d due to PPROM & preterm labor.
    IVF #4.1 in Jan 2012 converted to IUI on 1/7/12 = BFN
    IVF #4.2 w ICSI in Feb 2012. Lupron on 2/10. Stims on 2/18. ER on 2/29- 7R,6F
    ET scheduled for 3/5/12- nothing to transfer :(
    Dh seeing new MFI uro & Dh starting meds- June 2012.
    IVF #5 in Dec 2012 = BFFN.
    IVF #6 planned for Spring 2013. Praying for our take home baby/ies.
    **P/SAIF and P/SAL always welcome!**

    Lilypie Angel and Memorial tickers
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  • Faith722Faith722 member

    FU IF!!!!

    Totally unfair.

    IVF #3 = Feb 2012
    beta#1 3/21 (14dp3dt)=413, beta#2 3/23 (16dp3dt)=785, u/s 4/11
    EDD 11/25/12
    **SAIFW** Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker
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  • 3citygirl3citygirl
    I understand that some things happen for a reason... I don't understand what the reason to suffer through IF could be.  I don't understand why any of us have to go through this.  
    PCOS, Hypothyroidism, a ton of IVF... finally it worked => a rough pregnancy => my sweet, sweet son born at 29 weeks 1 day Lilypie Premature Baby tickers
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  • amers83010amers83010
    I will never understand. FUKC YOU IF!!!!!

    Lilypie First Birthday tickers
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  • Married071709Married071709 member
    imageaq32:

    I couldnt not agree more! It makes me so angry and upset when I think about how easy it is for some people and people getting pregnant that dont even want or deserve kids.

    Ked, my thoughts are with you! HUGE HUGS. I am soooo sorry.

    This.  IF is such a horrible thing. Sad

    After 4.5 years our miracle IVF baby is here!
    Born 7/30/13
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  • abvernonabvernon
    Some days I get so frustrated with IF that I want to give up....seriously.
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