How much time do you have with DH in the evening? (long)

SoonToBeMrsDTS

Right now I don't feel like DH and I really live like real adults. Before we had kids we both had to get up early for work, I was working f/t and going to grad school in the evening p/t. After we had DD we moved to be closer to DH's work and I quit my job.

Now that the kids are older things are pretty easy in my house. DH doesn't have to be at work until 9 and it takes him less than a half hour to get there. On the days I don't run we all get up around 8. I make his lunch, get the kids breakfast, get them dressed, etc. DH leaves around 8:30. DD go to preschool 3 days a week so those days we leave around 9. I come home, shower, get ready then I take DS wherever we are going for the morning while DD is at school. 

On the morning I run, I get up at 6 and am home by 7. I shower and get myself ready before anyone is up.  

DH goes to the gym at his office from 5-6 and then is home by 6:30. We eat when he gets home, then he usually plays with the kids until 8 when we do bedtime routine. The kids are in bed by 8:30 and then we have 3-4 hours to ourselves. Some of this is doing house stuff but most nights we have at least 2 hours just to hang out and read or watch TV together. He is out of town a few days a month but overall this is our schedule during the week.

DH is about to change jobs and things are going to majorly change. He is going to have a longer commute and have to get up much, much earlier. He is going to have to leave by 6 and he'll be home by 4:30. He will have more time with the kids but we'll have to go to bed much earlier so he can get up at 5:30. I won't be able to run in the mornings anymore either. He is so excited about his new job, he's been unhappy at his current job and there are a lot of great things about the new place, including almost no travel. 

I can't help but be a little sad that we're not going to have our alone time and we're probably going to have to join a gym. He'll probably go after work which means he won't really be getting home at 4:30 and I will have to change my routine to exercise during the day. I don't think I'm going to get any sympathy here but I'm wondering what other people's days look like. I guess it's time for me to be a grown up. 

WinesNotWhines

We get up between 5:30-6:00 am now, we leave the house at 7:15 am, and DH doesn't get home until 6:30 pm (I get home a little earlier). So it sounds like your new schedule will probably be a lot like my current schedule. We go to bed around 10 pm, which I think is a reasonable time. I work FT, so my daily schedule is different from yours, but I try to work out at lunch time. Could your DH work out at lunch? Would your DS tolerate sitting in a jogging stroller while you run with him? I go for runs on weekends with M in our jogging stroller.

Artslvr

I really admire you for working in working out!  Something I have yet to do.

I don't have a lot of time in the evening with DH.  We get all the kids to bed by 7:30 or 8:00.  We watch TV until about 9:00.  Then I go up to bed (read a little while to wind down, close my eyes around 9:30 or so).  He stays up to feed DS at 11:00.  DS then gets up at least once in the night to eat - which is why I go to bed so early - so I get up with DS. 

I get up at 5:30 am to get myself showered and ready for work before the household wakes up around 6:30.  We're out the door by 7:20.

Right now the best bonding time DH and I have is in the car - after we drop the kids off at daycare/preschool, and while he drives me to work or to a metro. 

So yeah, right now, there's not a whole lot of alone time with him during the week.  I can't see how to schedule the day any differently though, so I just say to myself, whatta ya goin' to do?

I_love_cupcakes

DH usually gets up at about 4:45 to walk the dogs and get to the gym when it opens at 5.  He gets home and I get up around 6.  DS is up by 6:15.  We all get ready for our day and are out of the house by 7:15.  DH drops DS off at daycare, and I do pick-up, usually around 5:30.  DS and I get home and play, start dinner, watch cartoons.  DH gets home anywhere from 6:15 to 8 (on a long day).  At 7:30 we head up for DS's bath and get him ready for bed...8:15 and he's under the covers.  On the evenings I run, DH does the bath/bed routine and I go running from about 7:15 to 8.  I shower once DS is in bed, DH and I hang out, and we're in bed by 10-ish.  So we have very little "us" time, but we try to make sure we have plenty of family time over the weekends.

kastle

We both wake up around 7am & he goes straight to work and doesn't come home until 5:30.  Once he's home, though, it's a flurry of dinner eating, him playing with the baby and then him doing the bed/bath routines.  So, I don't really get his undivided attention until about 8pm & we go to bed about 10.  However, about half the time he has to do work from home and one night a week I have class & aren't home until 10:30pm.

Anyways, I've come to realize, for us, it's not the quantity of time...it's the quality.  Every Friday is Date Night In & we take turns planning.  We eat dinner after Sprout has gone to bed & focus on really connecting.  It's helped.

kafunder

We both get up to feed the LOs at 5am, and then he gets ready for work/runs on the treadmill until 6:15am, while I either get a few more minutes of sleep  or get stuff done around the house. At 6:15am, he takes the monitor, and I get ready. We gather the babies up at 6:45am, which is fun b/c all four of us spend time togheter cuddling and playing until we leave at 7:15pm.

At night, we both get home around 5:15pm, with one of us picking up the babies at daycare. We spend time together until bedtime at 6:45pm, then I exercise until 7:30pm. After that, we spend the rest of the night together eating dinner, watching TV, etc.

All that being said, while we spend time together, we could stand to have more "date nights or lunches" b/c a lot of our time is spent vegging/looking at a screen and not connecting.

QueSrah

I get up at 6 to get ready.  DH gets up just before 7, enough time to go to the bathroom before waking DD for the day.  DD and I leave at 7:15/7:20, so DH and I barely have time to say hello and trade two sentences in the morning.

We both get home around 5:30 most days, but everything until 7 is about getting DD her last snack, playing with her and getting her to bed.  DH and I have from 7-9:30/10 together, but 30-60 minutes of that is filled cooking/ordering dinner, cleaning up the dishes or some other chore, or sometimes DH doing some work.  We get two hours tops to eat and watch tv and hang out.  To echo some pp, watching tv together isn't really quality time to me, so there are probably better ways to spend our few hours a day together.

tracy042206

Lately his schedule was a little messed and he was helping another dept by working nights (awful).  Now we are back on track but he gets up at 4:30 to commute into DC.  I get up at 6:30-7 to get myself and the kids ready.  We trade off daycare pickup although he tries to do it as much as he can.  We are generally all home around 6PM so then it is a whirlwind of dinner/bathtime.bedtime.  DH and I try and workout in the evenings but he gets around to it much more than I do.  If we are lucky we get an hour to watch some TV while we eat our dinner.

mssaint

I never used to understand how people could get up so early, but I left the house for work at 7 am this morning and was the first person in my office at 7:30. I am looking forward to LO having a better night schedule, though - this sucks!