my kindergardner

ladyraejewelry

ok so.. im 4 almost 5 weeks pregnant and emotional right now..

i get a call from the school.. my daughter is pushing kids and making threats to hit another in the face. 

my dd says that the students push her first. they pick on her.. they take her things. i told her she needs to tell the teacher first instead of pushing back and making threats. she says when someone stole her stuff to tell the teacher. she says she does but the teacher says " i dont care" 

she doesnt act this way at home. she is an only child.. shes usually good. every now and then i have to set her straight for an attitude. i usually just have her go in her room for a lil while. and talk to her about it after shes calmed down. 

a little back story.. her daddy and i divorced 3 yrs ago. she spent a couple years with him, and ive had her for the past year. she sees him every other weekend and shes a total mommies girl. 

the school called.. and told me this has been happening for the past 2 days.. why wasnt i called the first time it happened? they want her to stay home tomorrow. 

i will be going up to talk to them. i dont doubt that shes pushing.. i just dont know the truth about whos pushing who first. she reacts aggressively.   i was out grocery shopping when i got the call.. i cried.. all through out checkout lol

 

she has been grounded from everything tonight and tomorrow. 

puppydoggie

They want her to STAY HOME? Really? She would have had to do much worse than just push kids to have to stay home. Is there any more to the story? I am so sorry, though.

 

It sounds like maybe some fun counseling might be helpful. They have counselors for kids.

Also, many teachers just SUCK at protecting kids when they are getting bullied. Make sure to get as many sides of the story as you can. 

ladyraejewelry

right!?!

she made threats to hit them in their face.. im gonna call and hopefully they will let me go in tomorrow to talk to them.. my neighbor had problems with this school and says the assist princ is mean. 

 

my dd says the same names over n over..

Andrewsgal

So in the past year your DD has gone from living with her father full time to you, and I assume a man? You are pregnant and she started kinder. These are all huge changes and she might be struggling dealing with them. FWIW I think there is probably more to the story than you are telling or you know, as a teacher I have never heard of a principal asking someone to stay at home, sorry just does not add up.

r9stedt

Andrewsgal:

So in the past year your DD has gone from living with her father full time to you, and I assume a man? You are pregnant and she started kinder. These are all huge changes and she might be struggling dealing with them. FWIW I think there is probably more to the story than you are telling or you know, as a teacher I have never heard of a principal asking someone to stay at home, sorry just does not add up.

This.  All of it.

My son has problems coming back from his dad's after a weekend, and I am sure those behavioral changes would be 100x worse if he went from living at his dad's fulltime to with me fulltime.   Which, I'm sorry-- as a single mom, or even a mom in general--- it begs me to ask the question why did her dad have custody?

ladyraejewelry

she stayed with him from ages 3 to almost 5..i had her daddy take her because i was dealing with depression and divorce. she was spoiled and had HUGE tantrums several times a day.. a man even came out of his hotel room from across the apartment to threaten cops on me for abuse.. just because her screaming voice could travel that far. 

and now shes almost 7. she never wanted to live with her daddy. so shes been with me for the past year now that i am healthy again. i have been with the same man since she was 3. she loves him. she likes her daddy, she wants to see him, but not live with him. shes almost done with kinder. she knows i love her and the baby will not replace her. i tell her i love her a million times a day.. she acts fine at home.. with the occasional little attitude when she doesnt want to do something. when she gets in trouble i send her to her room, she cries and when shes calm i sit down to her level and talk to her. she understands.

 

she says she tries to be good, but sometimes forgets to tell teacher before she gets mad. 

 

it was either stay home, or she could go in but she would be in the office all day. they are going to have her talk to a counselor to find the root. i asked her if theres anything at home that shes mad about that might be making her act this way. she said no.. every reason she gives me has always been... so n so pushed me first.. so n so stole this and the teacher said she doesnt care. 

ladyraejewelry

r9stedt:

Andrewsgal:

So in the past year your DD has gone from living with her father full time to you, and I assume a man? You are pregnant and she started kinder. These are all huge changes and she might be struggling dealing with them. FWIW I think there is probably more to the story than you are telling or you know, as a teacher I have never heard of a principal asking someone to stay at home, sorry just does not add up.

This.  All of it.

My son has problems coming back from his dad's after a weekend, and I am sure those behavioral changes would be 100x worse if he went from living at his dad's fulltime to with me fulltime.   Which, I'm sorry-- as a single mom, or even a mom in general--- it begs me to ask the question why did her dad have custody?

she does seem to act up more after coming from daddies.. he spoils her and buys her almost anything she wants. lets her stay up really late and messes up her sleep schedule. ive told him about this. but he doesnt listen. 

i had him take her for a couple years because i was struggling with some issues and i couldnt take care of her at the time. but i am tons better now. 

 

 

eta.. ive been thru counseling and was on meds.. i am totally better. enough take my baby girl back. i have more patience to be a mommy now. i did what i thought was right at the time.

firefightersgal

I think an appointment with a counselor is definitely needed.  She's obviously upset about something, whether it be at home, at school, or both.  If she threatens to hit other children in the face, there is something going on--whether she is provoked or not. 

ETA: I would also be starting dialog with her teacher, ASAP.  You are only getting one side of the story at this point. 

ladyraejewelry

firefightersgal:

I think an appointment with a counselor is definitely needed.  She's obviously upset about something, whether it be at home, at school, or both.  If she threatens to hit other children in the face, there is something going on--whether she is provoked or not. 

i agree, and im not denying it.. there is something going on. she gets provoked a lot at school. but she needs to learn to keep her cool and tell someone first before making these moves. she knows its not ok. she has a very simple home life. its very calm, she plays outside like the other kids.. i read to her, i hold her, watch tv with her. hubby is nice to her. so if its anything its not from my home. she knows i love her. she tells me she loves me out of the blue and hugs me.. and i tell her i love her out of the blue and hug her.. 

 

r9stedt

Honey, her life is anything BUT simple for a 6 year old.  

She used to live with her dad.  Now she suddenly lives with her mom.   

She starts kindergarten and presumably a new school.

Her mom is having another baby.  With a man other than her daddy.

 Maybe the kids are bothering her at school; maybe she is wondering why she is suddenly is living with you; maybe she is upset about having a step dad;maybe worse things that you don't know about are going on; maybe a lot of things.

Take heed to FFG's advice and get her into counseling.    You yourself state that her behavior has been out of control in the past.

ladyraejewelry

i know.. i the school is going to have her in counselling.

ive asked her if she remembers anything from the past, she says she doesnt. but i know that even tho she doesnt remember it, it still could have it affects from it. 

by simple life at home i dont mean everything is perfect.. i mean that there isnt anything bad going on. no abuse, no yelling, no nothing. dh an i are happy.. we dont fight. we play around. she knows it, she laughs. shes a happy kid at home.. 

i do believe the baby may have something to do with it, also the  kids at school.

as for the baby, she says SHES the baby lol. but she also wants a brother/sister.  and after the school counselor ill take her for a weekly one too. also i need to get her into soccer or something. 

eta.. her daddy an i get along just fine now that we are apart lol.