repost about behavior issue and trips to park

crzygirl

My DD is three years old and has a full time nanny.  The nanny and another nanny friend are trying to get DD to go to the park with them to play and meet with other kids.  My DD is screaming and having a huge fit because she does not want to go to the park.

I am upstairs working and can hear the fit going on.  What do I do?  Why does my DD not want to go to the fun park? She has a great time when she is there and comes home happy.  How do I punish this behavior?  The goal is to have her out the door and to the park but a timeout will delay the trip and then they don't go to the park at all, which only means my daughter feels like she wins.

Please help me, what would you do?

JOEBunny

I could care less if my kids want to go to the park.  I can't tell you how many times we have had the go nuts, whining and I strap them in the stroller and take them, then can't pry them off the playground when it is time for dinner.  Some kids just don't like transitions.  They scream and yell about it, but once it is done they are fine.  I think it is pretty typical and I don't do time out for them expressing the opinion that they would rather stay and color, watch a show, play with our toys, or a friend who dropped by, but I don't care.  They need to go to the park, love it when we are there, and frankly, I need it too because if I don't go, I am at a loss for what to do with tired, cranky kids at 5:30 who haven't done anything. 

Saige&John

I would have the nanny give her two choices:

1)  Go to the park crying

or 

2) Go to the park happy

And then strap her in to the stroller and go on their merry way.   

m_and_m

We spend a lot of time talking about what's next and expected behaviour. IE, "After we go potty, then we'll get dressed, next is our yogurt, and then we're going to the park!" I repeat some variation of that about a bajillion times as it's all happening with some silliness thrown in.

"Potty, get dressed, yogurt, then we fly to the moon! We're not going to the moon? Oh you're right, that's tomorrow. Today we're going to the park."

"What are we going to do at the park today? Do you think we can catch a dinosaur and ask him for a ride? I forgot, our park doesn't have dinosaurs. What are we going to do, then?" (the kids will pipe up with a list of what we'll do usually, but sometimes I have to prompt them and get them excited)

"Okay, after you finish your yogurt you have to get in your seat. Can you show me how you do it yourself? Yes, you may bring one toy but only if you get right into your seat."

And on, and on, and on.

For more difficult transitions that are more likely to cause discontent (such as dropping the kids off somewhere- the boy I nanny has a hard time being dropped off at preschool sometimes) we talk about how it will go- "When we get to school, we're going to walk inside, hang up our hats, and say hello to Teacher Christin. Then we're going to hug each other goodbye, I'll say "Have a great day at school, I'll be back in a couple of hours!", and I'm going to leave so you can play with your friends. I will be back to pick you up after lunch." When I make a point to talk about it the entire 20 minute drive he's fine, but days I only say it once or twice he has a hard time.

 

Really though, you should put on some headphones and let your nanny do all of this. I mean, you should start it when your DD wakes up (if you know the plan) but then let her deal with it. Your DD is likely testing her nanny's boundaries and once she figures out where they are she'll stop pushing.

KGsky

Saige&John:

I would have the nanny give her two choices:

1)  Go to the park crying

or 

2) Go to the park happy

And then strap her in to the stroller and go on their merry way.   

You got it!

jlw2505

Why in the world would you punish your child for not going to the park?  I am sorry but maybe I'm missing something here.  And honestly - you are at work, your nanny is in charge.  You need to stay out of it and let your Nanny handle it.  Maybe your child is nervous about meeting the other kids, maybe she is tired?  Hungry?  It could be a million things and honestly, if your DD doesn't want to go to the park today - its not a big deal.  Go tomorrow.  I would not make a big deal out of this at all.