If my husband 'demanded' a certain name...

love_melongtime

First or middle...

You better believe I would have one h3ll of a fit. All of this "MH is adamant we use ______ for the middle name..." is making me nuts!!

 

PinupMomma08

Agreed.

kmv68

I agree!  I would have never married a man that demanded much of anything besides love and respect!

trebmal

Agree. I'm in the "you made the baby together you pick the name together" camp.  But I might be in a minority there, too...

However, if it came down to nuts and bolts I think I would play the "it's been living in me for 9 months I get the final say" card, but I am not sure if that's fair or not...hahaha

TristaD81

kmv68:

I agree!  I would have never married a man that demanded much of anything besides love and respect!

ITA!

jallascalla

I totally agree. I keep seeing people post stuff like this I'm thinking it's the 1950s for some of these poor women.

anna7602

I think "demand" is a matter of perspective. DH definitely felt strongly about honoring his grandfather by using his name for a future son. However, he told me this before we were even married, so I had some time to work with him on it. By the time I was pg, I had gotten him to agree to using ONE of his grandfather's names (not first and middle, as he originally wanted b/c grandfather went by a compound name) and to agree to using it as a middle name for our son, not first name. Given the course of our conversations, I wouldn't use the verb "demand" right now. But I might have if DH hadn't mentioned this desire at all until I was actually pregnant and had only 40 weeks to resolve the issue.

In my opinion, it's pretty crappy if you have a really strong opinion about a name (whether you're the one carrying the baby or not) and don't give your significant other any opportunity to negotiate/compromise. But, it's also pretty crappy if you don't make any effort to understand why the fixation with a certain name is important. DH had tons of valid reasons for not liking the middle name I proposed for a daughter and I was ready to move on, but somehow during childbirth he realized that his reasons for not liking it weren't as important as my reasons for liking it and surprised me by saying that was going to be her middle name when she was actually here.

krissyh21

Yes, I really hope they are just being overly agresive with their wordings when I read these. Because if not Whoa boy!!! are they in for some fun once the baby is here and there is more decisions to be made!

Amanda&EricB

Agreed. It should be 50/50. I don't care who carries the baby for 9 months. Both of you made the kid and both will be taking care of him/her for years to come. It should be a joint decision.

capulet

Well, I am pretty adamant about what middle name we'll use (either boy or girl) for our next child.  But I expect DH would then have more sway over the first name.  It would bother me if DH insisted on the entire name, first/middle/last, without me having any say or honoring anyone in my family.

rubyjem00

TristaD81:

kmv68:

I agree!  I would have never married a man that demanded much of anything besides love and respect!

ITA!

 Same here.

magsugar13

rubyjem00:

TristaD81:

kmv68:

I agree!  I would have never married a man that demanded much of anything besides love and respect!

ITA!

 Same here.

oh, exactly

mrsjenni

I'd punch him in the balls.  And then have a good laugh.

ubermoose

Agreed. I think that though it may sometimes be impossible to find a name that both parents are equally in love with, both parents do need to like the name. It's not fair for one parent to insist on a name and act like a jerk if they don't get their way.

I get that family names are really important to some people, but if it's not a reasonably pleasant name, it's just not nice to inflict that upon a kid.

trebmal

mrs.jenni:

I'd punch him in the balls.  And then have a good laugh.

 

*snort*

lynelise04

You better bet id throw a fit if he "demanded" anything from me. This is a partnership. We made this baby together, we will raise & make all decisions regarding this baby together. If my husband deperatly has his heart set on a name, we will most deffinitly consider it. But, neither of us would dream of demanding such a thing.

pinkflipflops44

true story.  we are having a heck of a time coming up with a name but not because one or the other is demanding anything.  compromise is hard work.  so is naming a child. and getting my husband to give any sort of input ha.

Blessed06

Amanda&EricB:

Agreed. It should be 50/50. I don't care who carries the baby for 9 months. Both of you made the kid and both will be taking care of him/her for years to come. It should be a joint decision.

 

100% agree.

LurkieLoo

Eh... Its his kid too.  If hubs was set on a name for our child I'd definately hear him out.  Maybe these ladies who are saying that hubs is demanding we use Edward as a middle name are forgetting to mention that Edward was his best friend who died in college or something. 

Summer0715

I think it comes down to why they are demanding that name.  Are they the "THIRD" and they want to continue the tradition.....naming the baby after a friend that passed.....a favored family member they want to honor?

I do not think because I carry the child that I get final say.  We all have strong feelings towards certain names and those feelings are important - and so are those of our significant others.

zaramarie81

I think a lot depends on personality and temperament as well as relationship dynamic. Some folks get really opinionated then soften. They may seem demanding one day, but it is just their "process" before they soften again. I can get really attached to ideas or names or whatever and my hubby has learned to communicate with me when I am getting a little too rigid. Also, he can be very opinionated too ... love this trait in him most days. The other day we were discussing names, and he loved a name I was not sure about. He said, playfully but truthfully, "My foot is coming down, and it's not moving! This goes on our list!" I laughed and backed off. We can revisit the names list later and see if feelings have changed.

I know he will likely push for naming a child after a family member on his side... again, it's just something he feels strongly about and for good reason. But I also know he respects me. I agree with pp's that the naming should involve both parents... that may mean one parent yields to another's desire or taste though (willingly). Gosh, my sister has yielded several times to her husband's naming and taste and later was thankful she did!