Grrr. Family and Soilds

AMossy

This weekend we went out to a Buffet with my DH's family.  I was prepared with AJ's baby food and puffs.  I did grab a slice of cucumber and a slice of melon from the salad bar so I could hold on to it and he could gum at them.  My mom procceeded to give him a french fry (eye roll), but I didn't make a fuss.  Then as desert time came they kept pressuring me to give AJ ice cream.  Finally, a family member got all snotty with me and said "Sounds to me like you trust your books and people you don't even know OVER your family members!"  I honestly didn't know how to respond.  Please tell me how you would respond in case this or something similar happens in the future.  

Thanks!  

mrs.kapow

I tend to just say we haven't introduced XYZ (in this case, cow's milk), so we prefer to do that at home in case, God forbid, there's a reaction. And, yes, I get dramatic and throw in the "God forbid!!!"

nikki368

I'm pretty laid back about my family giving Hunter a few bites of food. However, I've told a couple people, "when his stomach is hurting tonight and he's crying, I'll bring him over so you can watch him." I honestly don't believe anything will hurt his stomach since he tolerates food so well, but they don't know that, and it's always made them stop.

Bailey81

"Yup."

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emilydholmes1

AMossy:

This weekend we went out to a Buffet with my DH's family.  I was prepared with AJ's baby food and puffs.  I did grab a slice of cucumber and a slice of melon from the salad bar so I could hold on to it and he could gum at them.  My mom procceeded to give him a french fry (eye roll), but I didn't make a fuss.  Then as desert time came they kept pressuring me to give AJ ice cream.  Finally, a family member got all snotty with me and said "Sounds to me like you trust your books and people you don't even know OVER your family members!"  I honestly didn't know how to respond.  Please tell me how you would respond in case this or something similar happens in the future.  

Thanks!  

Yeah, I trust books that give me qualifed medical advice. When you get your PhD feel free to tell me how to raise my child but until then, butt out.

SarahWaggy

That was really rude of them. You may trust books because they are written professionals who have spent years learning what makes a child's body tick.

I probably would have said for them to eff off. I am sorry you had to go through that. I really don't know any advice to tell you. ): 

SDarling324

The snotty side of me would have said, "Yes, you are absolutely right, I do trust my books more than you."  But that's not the right way to go about it, I know.

If it were me I would say pull the Pedi card and that you are following their instruction on what and when to introduce to LO.  If she got mouthy again I would let her know that times have changed over the years and you are only trying to do what is best for your child by following what the most current research and medical advice has said to do. 

I know it's hard, I don't follow my own advice sometimes because I let what people say get to me a lot, but it's best to just ignore the comments.  You know what is right for your child.

Edited for clarity.

AMossy

nikki368:

I'm pretty laid back about my family giving Hunter a few bites of food. However, I've told a couple people, "when his stomach is hurting tonight and he's crying, I'll bring him over so you can watch him." I honestly don't believe anything will hurt his stomach since he tolerates food so well, but they don't know that, and it's always made them stop.

This is a very good idea.  I think they think I'm just being MEAN not giving him this stuff.  I am just making sure he will actually enjoy the food when he is allowed to have it.  

aabreu32

My family is aware that I only introduce new foods 1 at a time with at least a three day break between new foods - so I don't think anyone would try this or try to pressure me.  I guess I will find out this weekend when I go home for Easter. 

AMossy

aabreu32:

My family is aware that I only introduce new foods 1 at a time with at least a three day break between new foods - so I don't think anyone would try this or try to pressure me.  I guess I will find out this weekend when I go home for Easter. 

They used to not pressure me.  Now that he is getting older they have started pressuring me.  

nikki368

AMossy:

nikki368:

I'm pretty laid back about my family giving Hunter a few bites of food. However, I've told a couple people, "when his stomach is hurting tonight and he's crying, I'll bring him over so you can watch him." I honestly don't believe anything will hurt his stomach since he tolerates food so well, but they don't know that, and it's always made them stop.

This is a very good idea.  I think they think I'm just being MEAN not giving him this stuff.  I am just making sure he will actually enjoy the food when he is allowed to have it.  

Exactly. I totally understand that, and I don't want Hunter to get used to people giving him food off their plates all the time. Sometimes we are really eating stuff that he shouldn't eat, and I don't want him melting down because we aren't giving him bites. I just think that this response let's them know that you are more worried about it hurting his stomach and not just following "book" advice because that's what you've read. And who's going to keep doing something when you've warned them that it's actually going to cause him pain? Hopefully no one!

Jessi+Aiden

"Actually, I trust my own judgement seeing as I spend far more time with my child than you do. My baby, my rules!"

Either that or "When you graduate from medical school let me know and I'll consider having you be LOs pediatrician."

Or "I resent your assumption that I would be willing to let anyone, professional or family member, make my parenting decisions for me. I will raise my child as I see fit and I would appreciate your respecting that."

KellyD01

DS never had any trouble w/ anything solid until we let him have some ice cream at 11 1/2 months. HE WAS MISERABLE after that. HORRIBLE gas pains.. it was a nightmare, especially since we were away for a mini vaca at the time. Baby screaming in pain at 4am in a hotel is not my idea of a good time. He can eat all the ice cream we allow now, but at 11 1/2 months his belly was NOT ready for it yet.

Prior to that I'd told people I decide what my kid gets period! Not even DH got to introduce food w/o consulting me first since I was the one who knew what he'd had and hadn't had.

This time around I've gone toe to toe w/ even my grandma. I do NOT care. I'm majorly overprotective when it comes to food because we do have a small history of food alleries in MIL, my kids are all reflux babies as well, so I watch what they get from that respect... AND they've all had constipation issues. It's just easier to keep a tight rein on it and know what caused issues than it would be to just let them have whatever and play a guessing game... yes, even in small amounts.

My response is simply... MY KID, MY RULES end of conversation.

Kitiara5512

I will gladly take family member's advice as soon as they show me their pediatric degree and license to practice.

Of course, I rather enjoy pissing off some my family, so its easier for me. I have been judged for not giving C water, apple juice, milk, or honey. Really, I had family members actually flabbergasted that we chose not to give C honey, because apparently in Asia, you take a drop of honey on a wet cloth and use that to wipe around the inside of babies' mouths to clean them. WTF!

AMossy

Jessi+Aiden:

"Actually, I trust my own judgement seeing as I spend far more time with my child than you do. My baby, my rules!"

 

Either that or "When you graduate from medical school let me know and I'll consider having you be LOs pediatrician."

 

Or "I resent your assumption that I would be willing to let anyone, professional or family member, make my parenting decisions for me. I will raise my child as I see fit and I would appreciate your respecting that."

I am making a note of all these comebacks.  Thank you. :-)