I am new to this board..have a question?

racheldouglas

My daughter is in kindergarten. She just turned 6 years old and is very independent. Well she gives me such problems in the mornings when I am trying to get her ready for school.I don`t understand what is going on with her. She refuses to get dressed and brushing her teeth is a challenge. I don`t like it when she starts her day with such turmoil but what else should I do to try and get her motivated to go? She doesn`t seem interested in school at all and always stating that she doesn`t like it. How can she already feel that way she just started this year. Everytime that she acts like this, I see red. Does anyone have any suggestions as to what to do with calming techniques for when you get upset? What would you do? Any suggestions would be greatly appreciated, Thank you!

shouldbworkin

Give her lots of time, get her up early if you need to.  Make sure she gets enough rest too.  Set a timer in the morning and give her a reasonable amount of time to complete each task.  Break it down for her and even put up a schedule so in the bathroom and kitchen for her to follow so that she knows how much time she has for each thing and what comes next (I pasted some clip art pictures next to each thing on our list so DS would know what it was and to keep it fun).  Have her race against the clock instead of you.  Once you get her started, just tell her you know she can do it, walk away and come back in 5 mins.  Try to keep things fun.

As for school, I would talk to the teacher and see if something is going on there.  Is she bored, is she having trouble with friends, does she need to get together with friends outside of school to reinforce some of the bonds she's forming there, is she having trouble with a certain subject that you can reinforce at home, does she need extra support in any areas at school ... hopefully you can figure it out and create a plan to help solve the problem. 

most mornings I give DS a pep talk before he leaves for school.  I tell him that I can't wait to hear about what a great day he had, all of the fun things he did, etc.  I've found that this gets him excited for school and gives him the positive reinforcement he needs.  He doesn't always have a great day (and neither do I), but at least I know he gets on the bus with a smile. 

racheldouglas

Thank you, I am going to start on that schedule right away! I really appreciate the advice!

sara_c

My son like school, but man he takes forever in the morning.  He gets 2 or so hours to get ready.  I make sure he's up early enough to give him lots of time.

Sometimes, I race him as well- as in "lets see who can get dressed the fastest". 

I don't nag, but I give him reminders. 15 minutes until we leave, hope you're ready.  If he's not, too bad, we still go.  I've never had to leave with him in pjs, but I'm prepared to do that if need be.  He has had to put on his shoes in the car before but that's his problem, not mine. I don't make a big deal of it.

 

neverblushed

I struggled with this with my DD in first grade.  She didn't want me nagging her about getting ready, but she wasn't really doing it independently either. She's a dawdler.  We were struggling, and every morning was a battle, with lots of rushing around and last-minute forgetting, etc.

I got her an alarm clock and made her a schedule, and it really solved the problem. In the schedule, I put breakfast last, just before getting coat and going outside.  When she has to do all her dressing, tooth-brushing, and bag-packing BEFORE breakfast, the morning seems to go a lot smoother.  She never dawdles when the dawdling is putting off breakfast!

Here's what our schedule was when she was in primary grades, FYI:

7:00 am: wake up to alarm

7:00 to 7:15 -- get dressed, go to the bathroom, brush teeth, come out to kitchen.

7:15 to 7:45 -- eat breakfast, clean up breakfast dishes, get lunch in backpack

7:45 to 8:00 -- get shoes on, get coat/hat ready, relax and watch TV

8:00 -- go out to bus 

As for "not liking" school, it's common for kids to go through a kind of clingy stage when they're about halfway through kindergarten.  It's like the novelty of going to school all day wears off and they realize they're away from Mom for a LONG time each day.  My son really likes school once he gets there, but he will throw out the "I don't wanna go! When's the weekend!  I miss you!" every.single.day.  I just try to be patient and remind him of the fun he's going to have with his friends, etc. 

libra31

I have an almost 6yo kindergartener as well.  She is also very independent, head strong and has a lot of attitude.  We struggled in the morning for most of the year.  You've gotten some great advise!  The biggest thing that helped us was allowing more time in the mornings.  Our schedule looks almost identical to the one above who posted wake at 7, out the door at 8.  We don't turn on the TV until she is completely ready and sitting down to eat breakfast.  It was a major distraction for us.  My DD doesn't deal well with being rushed and I am way less tolerant when we are running late.  I don't have any great calming techniques.  I've just found ways to alleviate getting upset.  I would say what you are describing can be totally normal for a 6yo.  I would worry about why she doesn't like school too, that could definitely be part of the problem.

9yrsLater

All the racing and timing task ideas are fantastic - that's all that ever worked for us! We race each other to get dressed, brush our teeth, etc.

As far a calming yourself down... well that's just mind over matter for me. Deep breaths, happy place, reminding myself that I love this hot mess in front of me.

jenn5-26-07

I agree with the others. I also throw out a "This is a race and your not winning right now." Neither of my kids have yet to ask me who/what they are racing or what they win. But it gets them motivated and moving.

I also find I have to shut my sons door-once I know hes out of bed. If he can see us he dawdles and whines- i caaaannnn'ttt dooooo itttt... door shuts he's dressed and to the table in about 4 minutes.

I sometimes tell my dd "you have till I count to 10.(I count to 10 very slowly- like takes me 2minutes- could also use timer.) Then you have to be done getting dressed and you will go to school exactly how you are." I used this technique for a few nights getting ready for bed- the first night she went to bed in her undies- didn't like that but learned I ment it. After we had done a few nights at bed time like this, I was confident she would get dressed right away, so i used it in the morning.