- Pregnancy
- Baby & Toddler
- Parents
- Getting Pregnant
- Baby Names
- Product Reviews
-
Registry
- Community
-
More
Want a personalized experience?
Download the free app
Two Under 2
advice on preparing LO for arrival of new baby?
My DS will be 15 1/2 months when new baby comes. I am getting nervous about how it will be to care for a newborn and still do what I do for DS.
Ladies do you have any advice on getting LO ready for the arrival of a new baby? What are the biggest challenges you faced caring for 2 LOs? Any input would be appreciated
This discussion has been closed.
Re: advice on preparing LO for arrival of new baby?
If your older child doesn't already have a structured routine, get one going NOW. That helped immensely in the early days. You'll have one unpredictable child, do what you can to make the older child as predictable as possible (as far as sleep/wake times, meal times, etc.) Make the bedtime routine quick and easy. That was the hardest part of the newborn days for me - DS wanted to be read to and rocked for 30 minutes like we used to do, and DD usually spent most of that time fussing OR I had her in her Moby and him in my lap and it wasn't really enjoyable for anyone. Beyond that, I don't think there's much you can do, really. DS was 16 1/2 months when DD came, and he was really too young to understand. I'd say just focus more on how you'll care for #2 most conveniently - have something to wear the baby in, place a few bouncy seats around the house so you can set him/her down when your toddler needs you (bathing, feeding, etc.)
Plan to have help the first few weeks. If your DH can be off work, great. Mine just had a couple of days off after we got home, so my parents stuck around for a few weeks to help. It was a HUGE help to have them take DS to story time, the park, make meals, etc. so I could rest and focus on the new baby.
(read it. you know you want to.)
anderson . september 2008
vivian . february 2010
mabel . august 2012
to be honest he wont really know what is going on...so you don't really have to prepare him to much. Towards the end I would tell my daughter about the baby (about 2 weeks before i had her). I also gave her a baby doll that came with abottle..and towards the end i would point out babies on tv or in books...mine are 18 months apart though so she could say baby, etc.
It is tough to balance it at first I will be honest. I am still in the thick of it, and I am pretty spent most of the time. I try and keep certain routines that I always did with dd the same and have my husband take care of the baby during that time (for example, she always has her bedtime milk on the recliner with me either reading a book or watching a tv show).
Biggest challenge for me is the sleep deprivation...You can't sleep when baby sleeps because your toddler most likely won't be sleeping. I think it was much worse this time around. Next biggest challenge is juggling everyone's needs when it happens at the same time. I might have the two month old crying for a bottle, and the 20 month old crying for something else.
Get your DH on board with you and delegate responsibilty for things. He might have to cook and clean more than he ever had to before. If you bottle feed I suggest once the toddler is in bed to give the baby to dad for a few hours and get some rest. Dad can handle staying up a little longer than he is used to. IF you breastfeed I still suggest this..with him waking you up to feed.
It is pretty interesting for a while, but it is very rewarding...Like for instance the other day I had DD2 on her playmat and I was sitting next to her, and her sister sat down to and started talking to her and playing with her. When the baby started to fuss her sister got her bottle that was sitting on the table for me. Then she didnt want me to pick her up...she wanted to keep playing with her. It made me soo excited for the future.
Before baby, we read DS books on being a big brother. It ended up being his favorite book, even though I'm sure he was too young to really understand. We also practiced teaching him "nice nice". I would show him what touching gentle was, say "nice nice" and praise him like crazy when he did it. Although he pets my DD like a dog, at least he doesnt hit her.
For the week baby comes home, save some cool new toys from your child's first birthday so you have something to distract your oldest. If your child isnt independent, start promoting independent play now. Start small and work your way up.
Somthing that has helped me a lot is to prep as much as possible when you have sleeping kids. We had to formula feed DD, and we use the playtex drop in liner system. In the morning, I prep all the bottles for the day (clean all parts, put liner in bottle, fill liner with formula), so all I have to do when DD is hungry is pour the water in her bottle, put the nipple on and shake. I have enough bottles so I only have to clean once a day. I prep DS's breakfast/lunch before he wakes. Generally they both fuss for food at the same time, but if everything is ready, there's no one being left to cry and things run more smoothly.
I think the biggest thing you can do is just involve your older child in everything. I spent many of the first days at home in my oversized recliner with a child in each arm. I interact with DS while I feed the baby so he doesnt feel left out or ignored. I read them books at the same time. I keep a stock of diapers/wipes in every room we're constantly in, as well as sippy cups/snacks/toys for DS in rooms where I tend to the baby. Having things close by makes life a lot easier. We have had zero jealousy issues with our oldest. My DS is actually a great helper-if the baby starts fussing, he will get a bottle for me and put it in his sisters mouth. He likes to help burp the baby as well.
Another thing is get a good baby carrier before baby arrives. Wearing the baby gives the baby snuggle time while you are hands free to play with your oldest/get stuff done around the house at the same time.
GL!