I give up.

KYMelissa06

Seriously.  I'm beginning to think that I am never going to find the right childcare provider for our family.  I feel like we haven't even had time to grieve the loss of Brian's grandma because we are still struggling to find childcare.  I'm crying as I write this post because it breaks my heart that tomorrow will mark 2 months since the last time that Carter was able to spend time with Grammy.  He loved her so much and she loved him equally if not more.  It could not be measured and it's breaking my heart that we don't have that for him anymore.

I hired a private sitter to come to my house and watch him part time.  She was supposed to watch him this Tuesday and emailed me on Friday to tell me that she got hired on at Children's and just found out that she had orientation this week.  She has a totally understandable reason, but still it makes me frustrated because I spent a lot of time picking her out and bringing her in to meet my family and spend time with my son.  She said that once she is out of orientation she will be happy to watch Carter as needed, but who knows if our work schedules are actually going to mesh well.

Also, a girl who worked with Brian quit her job 4-6 weeks ago to start her own daycare.  She gave Brian a flyer and business card and I've been back and forth with her on what time I can come over to do a walk through of the daycare and have her meet Carter.  She has cancelled previously when we were supposed to come by so we rescheduled for today.  She told me 2 hours ago that we are welcome to come by, but she is full right now until she is certified.  WTF?  Why did she waste my time?  At this point I don't even care if she can take him when she is certified because she's not reliable from the get go.  

I've cried daily over the loss of Grammy.  It still doesn't feel real and everytime we get a new schedule at work I feel like I'm going to have a complete and total anxiety attack because I don't know who is going to watch my child.  I see so many children on a daily basis who have been abused and it scares me to death that it's going to happen to my child if I happen to leave him in the hands of the wrong person unknowingly.  He was safe with Grammy and now I feel lost. 

escape1st

Hugs to you, your DH and Carter!  Finding childcare is difficult for every parent and in your situation I'm sure that it is even harder since Carter was in the ideal place for your family.  It is very frustrating to find someone you trust and then have them cancel on you at the last minute.  You will find someone that will suit your family and as you well know, it's not something that you can rush.  Keep your chin up and the next best situation will find you. 

PirateGirl04

I'm sorry you are going thru this!  I hope u find someone soon that you love!

kyfirewife

YGPM

gandcnky

I'm so sorry you're dealing with this.  It's always stressful to think of leaving your child with someone, but your added grief on top of it doesn't help.  I hope you find a good solution very soon so you can feel better about this.  It's out there, and I hope you find it soon!

Ttimes3

I'm sorry you are going through this. Aside from mourning the loss of a beloved family member, finding reliable/trustworthy childcare can be very stressful. ((HUGS))

megan1019

I'm no help but wanted to just share a virtual hug! That's gotta be so tough!