s/o Obesity-most parents of obese kids don't think they're obese

ppants

https://www.newsweek.com/2010/07/01/parents-oblivious-to-overweight-kids.html

My kids aren't even close to overweight, (DD's BMI is 15, DS's is 18), but if a dr told me he/she was concerned I'd take it into consideration. 

Andrewsgal

I agree with you. The ped has told my sister that both my niece and nephew are overweight/obese, she still claims he is just a solid kid. I just want to scream at her, but don't say a word as I know it would end up in WW3. If a doctor ever told me to be concered about my kids weights we would be at a nutritionist and be getting help ASAP. I am obessed about my kids weight and am very careful about our lifestyle choices, i was obese as a child and adult until about 7 years ago and will do anything possible not to go down that road.

Zenya

I see this IRL and even on here.  People don't see their kids as they are. 

AnnapolisLari

I can see that. What I hate is going to the grocery store and seeing someone with really fat kids and the cart is full of sugary cereal, cookies and crap that needs to be deep fried. I want to choke some sense into them.

I know that mine aren't, but that's because I keep tabs on it. DS wears slim pants and I still have to cinch them in. I think he's safe. DD is a bit chunkier but not overweight.

I have a friend whose DD is 16 days younger than DS. She's the same height or a little taller and weighs 13 lbs more than he does. It places her well into the very overweight/obese category. You'd think that if your 4 year old was wearing 7/8 clothing and filling it out, you'd get it.

summerbrideDC

I think the chances are pretty strong that obese children have obese parents, so its probably difficult for those parents to go outside of their own concept of "normal" to recognize the weight problem the child is having. 

Andrewsgal

summerbrideDC:

I think the chances are pretty strong that obese children have obese parents, so its probably difficult for those parents to go outside of their own concept of "normal" to recognize the weight problem the child is having. 

I agree, but what I don't get is that when I was fat I knew I was fat, and it was not okay. 

EliseB0323

So tell me this -- What is a parent of a kid who is technically overweight supposed to do? My kid is active -- he gets some kind of physical exercise pretty much everyday. He eats a healthy diet. No soda. Lots of fruits and veggies and lean protein. No sugared cereal. No more than 2 servings of 100% fruit juice a week (if that). No more than 24 oz. of lowfat milk a day. Eating out once a week or less. Limited junk food. Mostly home-cooked meals. Limited processed foods.

I watch my kids' diet like a hawk. It's not like I'm not "keeping tabs" on him. He's not sitting around eating doughnuts and watching TV. But he's a solid kid and has always had a little bit of a belly. Do I never let the kid have a piece of birthday cake or a french fry?

Zenya

E - I have no idea what your kid looks like but if he was fat with all you're saying he's eating then the only thing I'd do would be to cut out the milk.  That sounds like a ton of milk to me but idk how many calories it is.  I limit my kids to one small cup of (rice) milk a day.  I just don't like them drinking calories.  BUT they don't eat nearly as well as you say your son does.  We just got back from one of our very frequent icecream trips.

Mominator

Oh, I fully realized when my teen was overweight/borderline obese, I just have a tough time seeing my active/healthy eating/pants cinching 4 y/o being borderline overweight. I think that the BMI is a good tool for an estimation, but it's just that, an estimate, everybody is built differently and what is normal/average for some, might not be for someone else. I think at the end of the day, what the child/teen/adult/whatever looks like, how they feel, their diet, their activity, that is what really matters.

<-----this comes from a former fatty

Zenya

your DD does NOT look overweight mominator!

jettagurl

Well, if I'm delusional, tell me. Ben is "obese" technically. The dr. actually told me he should have more milk. He typically drinks about 12 oz/day. We're cutting out apple juice - about 4 oz/day- but other than that there are no diet concerns. 

 Interestingly, he has become very inquisitive about good food vs. bad food- and rarely asking for junky treats now. 

KoriBrett

Pretty sure we'll be told Samantha is humongous at her 5 year next week.

Zenya

jettagurl:

Well, if I'm delusional, tell me. Ben is "obese" technically. The dr. actually told me he should have more milk. He typically drinks about 12 oz/day. We're cutting out apple juice - about 4 oz/day- but other than that there are no diet concerns. 

 Interestingly, he has become very inquisitive about good food vs. bad food- and rarely asking for junky treats now. 

I looked at your pic from yesterday when I saw your response to the other post. He does not look overweight to me at ALL, either.  I wouldn't change a thing. 

why did they tell you to add milk though?  that's weird to me. 

jettagurl

Z- milk for vit D. She suggested 18-24 oz. 

MC2Mommy

I see it constantly irl. Parents hear 'obese,' freak out for a week about diet, then go back to feeding them junk and letting them watch 4 hours of TV on a beautiful day. People do not see their children for what they are. They see perfection And anyone who disagrees is crazy.

camrude

Andrewsgal:

If a doctor ever told me to be concerned about my kids weights we would be at a nutritionist and be getting help ASAP. I am obsessed about my kids weight and am very careful about our lifestyle choices

 

This. I too was overweight as a child and I will do everything in my power to make sure my kids' weight/eating habits/exercise is on track.

 

MH had more than one instance where a parent got mad at him in the clinic for suggesting their child had a weight problem. For example....MH asked a dad and his overweight son (4th grade and nearly 200 lbs.) how much physical activity he gets in a day, the kid said he plays Wii sports almost every day. After asking some additional questions to see if he was doing anything else or if he was working up a sweat with the Wii (which he was not) the dad got pissed at MH because he suggested the Wii is not the only form of exercise his kid should be getting. The dad said the Wii should be considered adequate activity these days and his son was just solid and he knew he would grow out of it.

 

Parents do not want to hear that their kid is not perfect/normal. I get it. I don't want to hear it either. But, pretending like any problem with your kid (weight or otherwise) does not exist is not going to make it go away. Dealing with losing 10ish pounds now when they are little and you are controlling what they eat and do is easier than dealing with a 50+ lb overweight teenager. Trust me.

Zenya

The most common thing I see is people thinking that active erases the extra 600 calories.  "he runs around all day!". It's very hard to burn calories. People way overestimate the amount of calories that are burned by exercise.  Or underestimate what they eat, or a combo.

Carol*Brady2

OK--I live in CO & virtually never see obese children.  I'd say there are 5 "chunky" kids in all of DDs school.  I did not get the big deal when I heard about it on the news.  My kids eat plenty of crap & still are not remotely close to being overweight.  If they were, they'd be limited on food much more--it's easy, they are children & I control what they eat.  Now I am in FL on vacation at Disney & the Nickelodeon Hotel & am astonished at the size of everyone, especially the kids...I "get" it now--I never understood how bad it was until I got here.  Holy crap, I'd say half the kids are overweight at least...even those with average sized parents...and so many are more than overweight--they are definitely obese.  It is shocking & I have to believe the parents are in denial.  I mean being overweight (as an adult) I sure as hell don't want my kids feeling the way I do--I just don't get how you can have a kid in that shape & do nothing.    

MC2Mommy

Zenya:

The most common thing I see is people thinking that active erases the extra 600 calories.  "he runs around all day!". It's very hard to burn calories. People way overestimate the amount of calories that are burned by exercise.  Or underestimate what they eat, or a combo.

Totally agree! If your kid isn't working hard when playing, its not burning a significant amount of calories.

Andrewsgal

EliseB0323:

So tell me this -- What is a parent of a kid who is technically overweight supposed to do? My kid is active -- he gets some kind of physical exercise pretty much everyday. He eats a healthy diet. No soda. Lots of fruits and veggies and lean protein. No sugared cereal. No more than 2 servings of 100% fruit juice a week (if that). No more than 24 oz. of lowfat milk a day. Eating out once a week or less. Limited junk food. Mostly home-cooked meals. Limited processed foods.

I watch my kids' diet like a hawk. It's not like I'm not "keeping tabs" on him. He's not sitting around eating doughnuts and watching TV. But he's a solid kid and has always had a little bit of a belly. Do I never let the kid have a piece of birthday cake or a french fry?

This is why I say if there ever became an issue we would get professional help, people don't know what they don't know. 24 oz of lowfat milk has anywhere from 400-480 calories, that is a TON of calories for anyone to be drinking. Kids this age need 1200 calories a day so that leaves at most 800 calories for 3 meals and two snacks a day. A 200 calorie meal is nothing and will not often fill kids this age up.

Anyway my point being people don't know what they don't know. There is a cause when children are obese and it is our jobs as parents to get help so that we can address that issue.

EliseB0323

Andrewsgal:

EliseB0323:

So tell me this -- What is a parent of a kid who is technically overweight supposed to do? My kid is active -- he gets some kind of physical exercise pretty much everyday. He eats a healthy diet. No soda. Lots of fruits and veggies and lean protein. No sugared cereal. No more than 2 servings of 100% fruit juice a week (if that). No more than 24 oz. of lowfat milk a day. Eating out once a week or less. Limited junk food. Mostly home-cooked meals. Limited processed foods.

I watch my kids' diet like a hawk. It's not like I'm not "keeping tabs" on him. He's not sitting around eating doughnuts and watching TV. But he's a solid kid and has always had a little bit of a belly. Do I never let the kid have a piece of birthday cake or a french fry?

This is why I say if there ever became an issue we would get professional help, people don't know what they don't know. 24 oz of lowfat milk has anywhere from 400-480 calories, that is a TON of calories for anyone to be drinking. Kids this age need 1200 calories a day so that leaves at most 800 calories for 3 meals and two snacks a day. A 200 calorie meal is nothing and will not often fill kids this age up.

Anyway my point being people don't know what they don't know. There is a cause when children are obese and it is our jobs as parents to get help so that we can address that issue.

Well, I actually DO know quite a bit about nutrition and I have talked to professionals about this. My kid is 6 1/2. His doctor and a nutritionist I talked to recommended 18-24 ounces of milk a day. He drinks 1% milk that has 110 calories per cup, so 330 calories or less in milk per day. He is not overweight because of milk. He pretty much only drinks milk and water and loves milk, so I don't want to take that away, although he doesn't get more than 24 ounces a day. (Sometimes less than that.) He might have a serving or two a week of 100% fruit juice (like a juice box with snack after a soccer game.)

I have kept track of his food intake for a week at a time and shown the food diary to his doctor and a nutritionist friend. They both agree he is eating a healthy diet and an appropriate amount of food for his age. He is really hungry lately and is eating a lot more, but is usually content to fill up on more veggies or fruit. Last night he ate almost a whole cucumber (his version of salad) in addition to 3 ounces of chicken, 1/2 cup of rice, green beans, grapes and milk.

He does get treats once a week or so like a scoop of ice cream or a cupcake, but he's not eating that kind of stuff everyday. When we go out to eat he will have chicken tenders and french fries or a taco and rice or a happy meal once in awhile, but again -- he's not eating that stuff every day. I never make french fries at home and I don't use a lot of processed or ready-made foods. I'm not going to take away all food treats and obsess over every bite of food the kid puts in his mouth, because I don't think that's healthy either.

As I said, my kid looks "solid." He has a thick neck and broad shoulders like my husband. His doctor is not concerned about his current weight (95th percentile), but said we should keep an eye on his diet and activity level. He does not look heavier that the other kids in his class.

It is ridiculous that people judge parents based on a kid's BMI, and assume the parents are either lazy and feed their kid crap or stupid and don't know how to feed their kid properly. Nobody questions the parents with this kid in 20th percentile on how they feed their kid. To top it off, I am overweight, (although I have lost almost 100 pounds) so it's automatically assumed I don't know how to properly feed my kid. I eat between 1200-1400 calories per day and exercise regularly and am still fat. Sometimes it's not just about diet and exercise.

Andrewsgal

Well if your working with a nutritionist then I am sure you are fine. BTW the calories in a galss of milk are based on a 6 oz glass usually, although I don't know why since most cups are 8 oz. I would still cut the milk, but I am annal about the fact that we don't drink calories in our family. It is just hard if you are drinking 400 calories a day to only eat 800 as a kid. 

Zenya

Andrewsgal:

. I would still cut the milk, but I am annal about the fact that we don't drink calories in our family. It is just hard if you are drinking 400 calories a day to only eat 800 as a kid. 

ITA