Im afraid that I dont know how bad it is..

Mamaof3Jade

I feel like I know that I am going through PPD. I have been battling it since my youngest dd was born in January. My husband agrees and has been trying to be supportive, however I can see that my situation is taking its toll on our marriage whether we like it or not. I keep telling myself that I think its getting better, and so then I tell him as well. However I find myself often not sure if it is getting better, or if im just getting used to it. I just keep telling myself that that I would know if it were bad, and if I were being irrational, but that doesnt make much sense at all. I should know that PPD clouds my thoughts and that I cant be expected to be logical about my problem. I know I need to seek help, but I am having trouble making a Dr. ap. And, Im not sure if meds are the answer, DH says he wont support me in the decision to take meds. This makes me think twice about even going and getting diagnosed. I dont know what the point would be. I  would love to be in therapy, but its reallly coslty and we just cant afford it right now. Our insurance just doesnt cover enough for it to make sense to spend all that money on it. Im not sure what my next move should be, but I am at the end of my rope here. I know I need help, my husband is becoming less and less undertanding everyday, I dont want medication, and my marriage is crashing. What should I do? I feel like if our marriage fails now, it will be all my fault.

Lisadf1230

I also think I was in denial that I was going through PPD until I had a panic attack at work this past Tuesday and finally made an appointment to talk to my doctor.  Please take that first step and seek help from your doctor.  I just went to my PCP yesterday and I feel like I already have a weight lifted off my shoulders.  Talking to a professional about your feelings will hopefully help you understand that this is something that happens to many of us and the only way to get better is by seeking treatment.  I had a long discussion with DH last night about this and was very up front with him about how I've been feeling since I had DS.  I told him that I feel embarrassed about having to take medication for something like this and even though he is usually against using meds as a means of treatment he completely understands that I am an adult and I can make decisions for myself.  I figured I would follow my doctors instruction by going on the meds and then see how I feel.  If it doesn't work then at least I tried.  And if it does then I will feel better and I'll be able to be a better wife and mom.  Good luck and I'm here to talk if you ever need to!

snansley

My husband had some reservations about the meds, but once he saw how much they helped, he completely changed his tune.  You have to treat this just like any other illness.  Would you turn down antibiotics if you had a bad infection? Um no.  So why should this be any different.  I think counseling is important and it does help, but the meds help too and they are cheaper.

Making that first phone call is the hardest part.  Once you get the ball rolling, it gets easier and you will feel so relieved.

HSSpeducator

Don't let it go.  I was in denial for months to the point that I ended up with PPP (postpartum psychosis) and was eventually hospitalized.  I don't remember the first year of my son's life.  I also experienced some intrusive thoughts that I wish I could forget.  

Whether he condones you using meds is not his decision.  This is about your mental health.  Do what's best for you. 

smj2301

ITA with pp - call your doctor ASAP, you'll feel so much better.  Have your H go with you.  Maybe he'll feel more comfortable about you taking meds if the doctor explains the benefits to him.  It's a shame that he feels this way, but maybe he's scared that if you go on meds you'll turn into a different person? 

I put off going to see the doctor until DS was 4 1/2 months old because I didn't want to admit to people how I was feeling or go on meds.  Finally I realized that I needed to go not just for my sake, but for his and my H's.  I'm taking a low dose of zoloft and it's wonderful.  I feel like it just took away the irritability, anger, and sadness that was consuming me and keeping me from enjoying my son.  I did go see a therapist but it didn't really help me at all because there wasn't anything other than my hormones causing the problems, so there really wasn't anything to talk about.

I hope you get the help you need and feel better soon.

FutureMrsWittig

Have you checked your local hospital for support group listings?  Those generally don't cost and it may make you feel lots better.

I also think you should call your doctor and then ask your H to go with you to the appointment so all your options can be explained to both of you.  If the doctor recommends meds explain that your H doesn't agree with taking them and you all three can explore that.  The doctor can make the case for the meds.  And H can't say you didn't include him in the decision making process.  But ultimately, it is your decision.  It's your mental health.