soooo not how I wanted it to happen
But as they say, All is well that ends well. Here's my super long story...
40 weeks came and went. At my 40 wk appointment, I was 2 cm, 50% effaced, which wasn?t any progress from the 2 prior appointments, but it was still something. I really wanted to avoid being induced, so my OB agreed to let me go another 2 weeks if needed since I had no issues throughout the pregnancy. I really wanted to go natural, so it was important for me to let my body ?do its? thing.? She set up a few NSTs and an ultrasound for the following week. At my first NST, the nurse told me ?he passed with flying colors.? His movement was good, heartrate was good and my fluid looked good. Then came the ultrasound. I hadn?t had one since 20 wks, so I was anxious to see him. He looked great, but the tech said he was estimated to be over 9lbs!!! What?! Hubby and I are not big people, and I?ve measured ?right on? the whole time. How am I having a huge baby? And HOW am I going to do this naturally?! I have to say, reading about how many bumpies growth estimates were way wrong made me feel a bit better. I kept thinking they were wrong and he?d be a good 7 lbs (denial, denial, denial!)
Next was NST #2. This was as 40wk 6d. The nurse was a b*tch to me the second I sat down. She asked me my due date and then gave me a look like I was an idiot and said ?then why haven?t you been induced yet?!? Ummm, A) I don?t WANT to be and 
my Dr. won?t induce until 41 wks unless there are other issues. She hooked me up to start the test and continued to lecture me about how it?s not helping me or the baby to go late (gee thanks, I wasn?t already stressed enough about being ?overdue?) and how I better be planning an epidural, I?d probably end up a c-section anyway? basically everything I did NOT want to hear right now. Well, I don?t know if it was from my stress or whatever, but she ?wasn?t really happy? with the results of the NST. She said there were no serious issues, he just ?dosen?t look great.? She wanted to run it by my Dr. but she wasn?t in the office. She showed it to another Dr. in the practice (the first OB I saw that I didn?t care for- go figure!) and they decided I should go back to the hospital for a 3 hr NST to be safe.
We got to the hospital about noon time and had to wait until 1:00 to be checked in and hooked up. The tech said the baby had ?passed the test? within the first 10 mins, but they would continue to watch. I guess the previous test had a questionable heartrate during a contraction (only one of the many) and they wanted to make sure he wasn?t having decels to make sure he could handle labor. The 3 hr test went well, his heartrate was fine, but I was having lots of contractions that were timeable and getting closer together. She recommended I have the on-call Dr. come in and examine me. I agreed. I was now 3cm, 80% and bleeding (I had lost MP the day before.)
The Dr. told me I may not be leaving without a baby! OMG. They told me I could go home if I wanted, but I?d likely be turning around and coming back that evening. I thought I wanted to go home- I originally planned to labor at home for as long as I could. And since I hadn?t planned on being admitted, I wasn?t prepared. I didn?t have all my bags, I hadn?t cleaned the house, I wasn?t wearing what I thought I?d be wearing? it just wasn?t what I had planned. But the contractions were starting to be painful and I live 40 mins from the hospital. The ride there had been uncomfortable and all I could think about was 2 more rides (home and back in) with even worse contrax. Add the anxiety of wanting to meet my little guy? and hubby?s anxiety too? we decided to stay.
I got checked into L&D by 5pm and they started the IV and kept me on the monitors as a precaution. I couldn?t walk around which was killing me! Well, within an hour of nothing but fluids on the IV, the contractions slowed way down. The nurse said I was probably dehydrated. GREAT. So another couple hours of being in bed, and I just wanted to go home. I was so emotionally drained at this point. They talked me into a low dose of pitocin. The Dr. said since I was already full term, and had some progress, I probably just needed a jump start. I wanted to avoid induction, but a little ?jump start? might be ok. (again, denial!) I figured I?d get some sleep and wake up ready to have a baby. WRONG. I got no sleep at all- not even 5 mins. They kept me on the monitor all night and things were beeping and blinking and I was being checked on often. I was having some contrax that I *thought* were pretty bad, but I was just relaxing and breathing through them. Around 6am, they upped the pitocin because I wasn?t making any more progress. The contrax picked up so they decided to break my water (what a strange feeling!!) and now I realized this was an official induction and I was having this baby soon!
The next shift of Drs and nurses was in at 7am. When the Dr came in, he examined me and the first thing he said was ?wow, how big is this baby?!? I told him about the u/s estimates and he agreed. He said those could be off a bit, but it?s ?not gonna be a little guy.? I asked what weight he thought by feeling him, and he said ?not 6, not 7!? Then he asked when I planned on getting the epi- I told him I hadn?t planned on it and he ?strongly encouraged me? to get it, but said it was up to me. He said his best guess was that I?d end up a c-section and it would be a bit smoother if I already had the epi. I told him I really wanted to avoid that, so he said he?d encourage me to push for as long as I could and as long as the baby could handle it, but to keep an open mind.
Once my water had been broken the contractions were getting stronger and stronger. I sat in the bed and on the ball right next to the bed for basically the entire morning. I couldn?t walk around because I was still on the monitor. (I did talk them into putting me on a mobile monitor for about a half hour, but it wasn?t working well- kept losing signal- and they wanted to keep me on it, so back to the room I went.) I hadn?t slept, I hadn?t eaten, but I was still feeling like I could do this. The times are fuzzy, but sometime in the afternoon the pain got unbearable (thank you, evil pitocin!) and I started to vomit with each contraction. Lovely.
The nurse (who was AMAZING) told me she wouldn?t try to talk me into it, but to let her know if I wanted the epi. I asked for the Dr so I could talk to him about it. I wanted to know how much longer it would be, if I had made progress, etc. If I was close, I wouldn?t get the epi. Well, he was in a c-section and I was puking my brains out, so I had the nurse check me. She said I was at a 6 and it would likely be hours. FINE! Gimme that epi. I was in tears at this point. This is sooooo not what I planned, not what I wanted. I was terrified. I was in so much pain and was just exhausted.
The anesthesiologist came in within 5 mins and walked me through what he was doing. It was quick and painless and within 5 more mins I was smiling for the first time in 24 hrs. I could still feel when I was having a contraction, but the pain (and more importantly, the nausea) was gone. I started to feel conscious again. (I think my eyes were closed for the last 5 hrs or so- it was all a blur.)
I let the initial dose wear off and didn?t want to hit the button. The Dr came in to check my progress and told me he was shocked at my progress! I was 10cm and 100% effaced. He urged me not to push for awhile for 2 reasons- 1) the baby would move down slowly on his own and stretch me a bit naturally, which would mean less pushing for me. And 2) He had a csection in the next room in 5 mins! I freaked out a little. I knew I could hold off but what if I had to push while he was gone?? The nurse assured me it would be hrs, and she would be right there- and there were PLENTY of Drs if I did indeed need one.
I breathed through each contraction. The pain was coming back but I was ok with it. I wanted to make sure I could feel everything for pushing and delivery. I think I made it about another half hour and then my body just started to push. I let the nurse know I was ready to push and she urged me to push when my body told me to. It was SUCH A RELIEF! The contractions were AWFUL but I could have pushed all day! The worst part was that I could feel the baby coming and then going back in a bit after each push. It was so frustrating! My hubby and the nurse coached me through pushing for over an hour. They were both amazing supports. After about an hour and a half of pushing, the Dr was back. He took one look and said ?Well, Mom, you really impress me. No c-section for you- we will have this baby out in 15 minutes.? WHEW! There was an end in sight and I was even more motivated to push. My 2-3 pushes per contrax turned into 5 pushes per, and then basically just a constant push with only short breaks to take a breath. I thought I would either pass out from not breathing, and/or bust a capillary in my head. I have never worked so physically hard in my life! I felt the head, then the shoulders, then the rest was like passing jello? and there he was! He had the cord wrapped once around his neck, but his color was good. We did a cord blood collection, so that took a few minutes. I was losing a lot of blood and feeling a lot of pain, so hubby held him first. While I was being stitched up, he brought him to me. I don?t even remember what I said or did, I just couldn?t stop staring at him and smiling. Hubby was crying. It was such instant unconditional love!!
As it turns out, the Dr. gave me an episiotomy (yet ANOTHER thing I did NOT want) and I tore a bit naturally too. But hey- I avoided a c-section, and got a beautiful son, so I?ll get over it. Paxton Michael weighed 8lbs 3oz (under 9! Yay) and is 21 inches long. He latched on immediately and BFs like a champ since my milk has come in!
It was certainly not the birth story I wanted, but it?s so true- when you see that baby, nothing else matters.
Here are his first few pictures...
Re: soooo not how I wanted it to happen
He is sooo Cute! That last picture is seriously adorable. Sounds like you didn't get everything that you wanted but you had a long road and avoided the c-section.
I love how you said when you were pushing, you felt like you were going to bust a blood vessel or capillary in your head. Thats exactly how I felt!!!! I swear my face was on fire, and I thought for sure my eyes were going to pop out of the sockets!
Glad you have your beautiful baby, and he is healthy!