Do you let others sway your decision?

lovespuffins

Yesterday we were totally set on Lena. (Thank you so much for all of your comments by the way). And this morning I asked my parents what they thought. My dad said he liked it but he would pronounce it Leh-na, but that Lee-na was ok too. But my mom said she really didn't like it at all. It kinda ruined my mood and now I am not so sure. I know that it only matters what we think but I can't help being bummed out.

Do you let others, especially those closest to you, influence your decision?

alliejo725

I really try to avoid situations where I would let them sway me (re: I don't share our names), but I sympathize with you. I can see how your mom not loving the name could really take the wind out of your sails.

If you love the name, you should use it. I promise your mom will love it once she has a darling granddaughter to attach it to!

jencastorri

I let people sway my choice with DD1. Which may have been for the better. She was going to be Lily Sunshine, but ended up being Emma Lily. 6 years later, I still wish I had named her Lily Sunshine even though Im sure she will appreciate the change when she's older. For DD2 I refused to let anyone make me change my mind and now her name is Summer Poppy. We decided to keep our team green names a secret this time to avoid any issues. I say...stick to what you love. Your parents had their chance to pick the names they loved, now its your turn. They will get over it at some point.

Love-Eng

Yeah, I found that my dad warmed up to our boy name Tytus (now overdue and don't know the sex) after a little while. At first he wasn't loving it.

KayteandRob

we probably won't tell people the name we've chosen until after the baby is born for this exact reason.

krissyh21

Nope, that is why I never asked Anyones opinion on the name.

LindsayMay06

We decided LO's name last weekend and told our parents. DH's mom hated it, my dad's never heard of it, and DH's dad and stepmom loved it.

It is what it is. If you truly love the name, no one will sway you. Just remember it's your baby and you get to pick.

Good luck!

clee2009

That was my mistake with DD1. I had my heart set on Lydia and got so much negative feedback that I began to hate the name. Now I sometimes wish I would have gone with it. I ended up naming my daugter Alivia because the responses I received were so much more positive. But I now realize how close Lydia and Alivia really are! I love my daughters name now but with this little one I am going to try my hardest to keep the name to ourselves.

anna7602

We didn't reveal our names while I was pregnant. We were very set on both our girl and boy name and they weren't up for discussion. Now that I am not pregnant, I throw out possible girl names all the time to people like my sister, mother and cousins, but only because there isn't one that I absolutely love. Also, it helps that I am not pregnant, so everyone knows it's "just talk." Opinions tend to get more heated when someone thinks you are actually about to use the name you just mentioned.

We still haven't revealed our chosen boy name very widely (my two best friends know it). We would still use it if we ever have a son. I could care less if my family likes it or not, but in my opinion, it's not a very objectionable name anyway. It's Santiago, a very traditional name that I consider fairly recognizable even to non-Spanish speakers due to all the cities around the world with this name.

LoCarb

I am not easily swayed at all but DH is.  I believe if you share a name with ppl and they voice their dislike they will feel foolish about the comments made IF you do use your original name.  If you LOVE a name-use it.  It's your child to name not theirs.

mnmgirl078

No, I don't.  I did notice yesterday that you were so excited about the name and then said you would run it by your family (fingers crossed).  I thought that was odd, since it's not a family decision.  But then again, maybe those kinds of things are family decisions for your family.  I stopped talking to my mom about name choices because I would tell her names I liked and she would say, "Don't name her that."  The problem was, I never asked for her opinion.  And even though you did ask for your family's opinion, you should still name the baby Lena, pronounced the way you like, if that's the name you really love.  Just drop the topic until she's here.  They'll get over it.  I think we've finally settled on a name, at least a FN, and mom won't have a clue until LO is born. 

Amanda&EricB

We do nt' share our name choices, so that doesn't open it up for discussion/possible hurt feelings. I do tend to want to find something that won't make people feel awkward or uncomfortable, but then again my tastes don't run that eccentric.

laurakaz13

Nope!

brookelynpaisley

I certainly don't want to choose names people DISLIKE, but it's (going to be) our baby. They got their shot at naming. IMO, parents will love their grandchild, and names will grow on them, and eventually they - like ourselves as parents - won't be able to imagine the child with any other names.

The only way I would let someone sway my decision is if they pointed out something legit that I really hand't thought of, like a bad association or an awful teasing nickname.

jfgates05

Yes, I definitely let my mom and sister influence my decision.... and I wish I didn't, but I can't help it!!  I can't NOT share the names with them because we're so close, but when I get excited about a name and one of them says, "Oh."  I just feel super deflated and the name loses excitement for me.

Keri Marie

NO!

DH and I get to choose the name, everyone else can deal with it. 

alandals

My family hated the first couple names DH and I chose for DD. We didn't let their opinions sway our decision because it's OUR daughter and WE get to decide her name. I don't really give a crap if my family doesn't like it. We did end up changing our minds because we wanted to, not because someone else didn't like her name. The final name we have chosen we aren't telling anyone until she is born because once she comes out and we say, "Meet Stella!!" Nobody is going to question it or tell us they don't like it because it's already been decided.

To answer your question: Absolutely not.

Nanna

No, but that's because we are smart enough not to share the names we are considering with people we know IRL.

Geauxmama11

I'm not even ku, but do talk about names with family/close friends every now & then. We have had a boy name for awhile, so it's all girl names. My mom has different taste in names than my DH & I....she tends to like trendy, unusual or made up names. My DH has a very colorful ethnic background & I think my mom equates that with our child needing a "unique" name:)  So I don't ask for opinions, I just throw the name out there....I think both sides of our family respect our decisions enough not to say anything ignorant or throw a fit about baby names.

lelekay

I knew my family would have a very different taste in names that we do, so that's why we didn't share with anyone.  I didn't want anyone's opinion to sway me, and it might have with my pg hormones going wild!  I think my family thought the name we chose for DS was a little odd and old-fashioned, but now that they know him, they all say it suits him perfectly.  Once a baby is actually born and named, I find that people can accept the name better than when it's just hypothetical.

If you love it, don't let it sway you....they'll come around!  And if you change your mind, I recommend not sharing next time....just my 2 cents! 

BrendaLou1969

My BIL stated 'I would never name my kid that" to us when we mentioned one of our names.   Made me love the name so much more!!!  - Yes, you can tell how much I respect my bil.

Ceridwen21

I for sure would let others sway our decision... which is why we're not telling anyone!

love_melongtime

I had this exact same thing happen! I texted my mom "How adorable is this name: Norah Isabelle!" And her response? "Really dislike Norah."

Needless to say, I was p1ssed! We are most likely going with that name and I think it was completely rude of her to say that, even if that's how she really feels. However, DH and I both love the name, so my mother can bite me!

GermanGirl2007

I would never tell anyone the names that we had selected for that very reason.  I believe that I could be influenced by other opinions, therefore, I really don't want them. I have enough indecisiveness in my own mind that adding other opinions into the mix would be a major headache.

MissMommyMac

Nope. I don't ask for anyone's opinion because I don't care and I don't even want to put myself in the position to where I might care.

catahoulatte

I don't think we will be swayed regardless of whose opinions we would hear, but we aren't sharing his name with any friends or family. I did share the top 3 with my bff and she liked our final choice the least. She's my best friend and as much as I love her, I'm not taking her opinion into consideration because it's our baby.

ToBeMrsC6907

I really don't.  I realize my mom and I may have very different taste- she has suggested several names to me that I find horrid.

Go with what you love.  A lot of times people have a pre-conceived notion of a name, but then it grows on them.  And if it doesn't, so be it.  Your kid, your choice.

LJR 84

If it's a name I really love, then no.

If I'm on the fence about a name myself and talk about it with friends and family and they hate it, I'm more inclined to let it sway my decision.

When we were naming DD I remember my dad saying he didn't like the name Elle. I didn't care one bit because we were SO set on the name and loved it! We wouldn't have cared what anyone thought.

Clerk9

My biggest concern in this area is my mother.  She tends to be very opinionated & I can't help letting her opinions get to me.  

So the way I've approached baby names with HER is to share some of our "compromise" names to try & get some feedback, but to keep her from finding out the names that DH & I each love (because I don't care what other people think of those names).  As of now, it's worked pretty well...although I do feel guilty that we've shared our "love" names with a small number of other people & explicitly told them to not tell my mother.  *blushes*

My suggestion:  if you absolutely LOVE it, don't share it if you're worried that negative comments might sway you.   

jcsntms06

No I don't care what other people think. We decided that with #2 we aren't going to tell, b/c people in my family will always find something to complain about.

mandiroze

I think we'll probably end up sharing with my parents, but I already know my mom will HATE whatever name we pick (for a girl, she likes our boy's name).  She will love her granddaughter even if she hates her name (she even told me that), so I'm just going to ignore her comments.  She told me the other day that everyone hated my name, but it was the only name she could compromise with my dad on, so they had no choice to change it.  I never knew my family didn't like my name and I'm pretty sure they like it now, my grandma has commented how feminine and lovely it is.  So don't let that hurt your decision.  

 For what it's worth, I LOVE Lena.  It's a family name, very classic and lovely. 

mrsjenni

Nope... that's why I don't ask for opinions.  I just tell them what the name will be and that's that.  I have NO PROBLEM sharing our names with anyone who wants to know.  I guess I just don't care what they think of it.

elynds

Totally depends on the person.  Coworkers? Internet strangers? My students?  Absolutely not - though I don't tell most people IRL just because I don't care to get an opinion.  I do have a very supportive family who do not openly criticize any names I throw out, but if I ask my mom for an opinion I do take it into account and I do trust that they would steer me away from anything totally awful. Also, instead of saying, "we like X" I always put out 2-3 names we like, which usually is met with a response like, "well, I like all 3 but I probably like X the best" - this does not sway my opinion at all.  

FWIW, my mother in law did not care for the name Sloane and it's in my top 2, so clearly I was not too easily influenced  

Kml9876

No. We don't share or discuss any baby names with anyone.