Visiting family for 4th of July?

CarlaAndJames

So this is kind of a WWYD, just wanting to get some advice.

4th of July is by far the biggest holiday for DH's family. We typically drive to Oklahoma (3-4 hours) and spend the day at his aunt's house in the country. The kids set off fireworks and firecrackers, there's a bbq, etc, and then we leave late that night and come home (so there's no overnight).

I had laughed off the idea of going, (I'm due June 22nd!) but DH has been telling me he really does want to try if we're able to. He said we could drive an hour, take a long break, drive an hour, take a long break, whatever we need to do. And both baby and I can definitely excuse ourselves and nap at his aunt's house. Of course we'll play it by ear and see how I feel, how we're doing with feeding, etc. She could be born a week late and then she'd only be 5 days old, but if she's a few weeks early we might be in more decent shape by then.

We'll ask her pedi of course, but now my main issue is will she be okay being passed around to family members at a big gathering like that when she's that little? I've always said I want to take her in public and not hide her away from germs, but that's not just going to the grocery store in a carseat - I know she'll have 20 different people want to hold her.

What do yall think?

jam803

I'm wondering about this too. I hope other people on the board have some good advice.

amanda1680

Personally, there'd be no way I would want to go.  Sorry, I'm no help!

JavaVino910

I'm due June 25th. We have an annual family picnic in town, and I'm not planning on going. It just seems way too soon. I can't imagine being around that many people at one time so soon after having the baby. Also, I plan on breastfeeding and I'm sure that's going to be a challenge the first few weeks.

Could you make it work? Probably. You will have to probably just play it by ear and make a decision when it gets closer to the actual day. Good luck!

cvl105

While I would probably go to a 4th of July party...I wouldn't travel 3-4 hours. I think you'll still be uncomfortable sitting for that long, etc. Forget about having to feed/change baby.  I would be more willing to do it if you have the option to stay somewhere over night. That's a lot of traveling in one day.

gymnst1013

Personally, I'd be fine with it.  I plan on letting whoever wants to hold my son.  I feel like it's almost a good socializing thing for him - getting him used to different people so he's maybe not so shy as he might otherwise be.  This is my purely unscientific theory though. 

kimeve

Personally, I wouldn't do it. Not just because of the drive but because of all the people. At church Sunday there was a five week old baby being passed around and my husband and I agreed that we would not be comfortable with so many different people holding such a tiny baby. But that's just us.

redfish08

No way I would go.  The car ride is not a big deal for LO, but a few weeks after delivery (especially if you have a vaginal delivery), I would not want to be riding in a car that long.  It makes me cringe just thinking about it.  My bottom area was so sore for weeks after delivery.

I remember with DS, 2-3 weeks after he was born, I was nursing him every 2 hours, and trying to sleep in between.  I was exhausted.  We all had our days and nights mixed up.  I don't think I could physically handle the long day.  Plus, you are in Texas.  I imagine that it will be incredibly hot in Texas in July.  Not only would that be uncomfortable to me, but little infants have a hard time regulating their temperature, and I'd be hesitant to keep them outside for any length of period (more than 30 minutes or so).

As for the germs, I'm all for making sure LO gets exposure to germs, but I think that at 2 or 3 weeks old, it's too soon.  It's one thing when a 4 month old gets a cold from someone, but a 3 week old?  That is absolutely miserable, and something I would try very hard to prevent. 

MustanGTbaby13

For me I could still be pregnant then (My EDD is 6/23)...so I wouldn't go. This is also because I am in Ontario with DH and my family is all in NJ So it would be a 12 hour drive, across the border during a holiday weekend which is no bueno.

I would definintely play it by ear  depending on when your LO decides that they want to arrive! I know of women who have taken their newborns to hockey game (chilly!!) and they are fine!  You will probably be fine but if you aren't feeling up to par, then don't worry about!

3Girls3xsTheFun

It would depend how far out from delivery I was.

5 days? No freaking way. If I had the baby at 37 or 38 weeks then I might consider it. My main concern would be the car ride and my bleeding. It's one thing to change out nasty diaper sized pads in my own bathroom where I can shower if I'm feeling yuky, but I wouldn't want to worry about all of that at someone elses house or on a road trip with public restrooms. Barf.

I use formula, so there's no need to have somewhere to nurse or anything, and I'm not weird about having family hold my baby -- be it 5hrs or 5 days or 5 weeks after birth. I would worry about the heat in TX in July. I wouldn't want to drive 5 or 6 hours each way (including stops) just to sit on someones couch in the AC.

Personally, I'd just tell H to go without me. If it's something he really looks forward to I wouldn't want him to miss it. And he'd probably have more fun without me & a newborn, haha.

ashleah83

"Of course we'll play it by ear and see how I feel, how we're doing with feeding, etc."

This. Why even worry about the other stuff because if you haven't delivered yet, or are too tired, or something, it won't even matter   Cross that bridge if you ever even come to it.

Printergirl

Don't commit to anything and just see how you feel. Tell DH it is very up in the air and you will let him know after the baby arrives and you have time to recover.

We did a 2.5 hour trip at 4 or 5 weeks pp. I had a hard/long labor followed by a c/s. The drive wasn't so bad but DS was nursing very frequently so we had to stop a couple of times. Passing around was hard as we were at a baby shower for my SIL and it was Febuary! I just put him in the sling and most people could peak at him...a few held him when I wanted a break.

If you do go don't be afraid to get down time in away from family. Just you and babe or you/SH/babe. You will need the quiet.

MrsPBNJ0220

I wouldn't do it.  I know my mother is talking about wanting to go to NC from Orlando, FL at the end of July and I'm even unsure about that.  Granted that is a long long drive.  I have told my mom I would consider it, if he has his shots by then, if not then no way.  Also, I will be out of work and taking a pay cut so she is also aware that we would no way be able to pay our own way, so if it's important enough for us to go she will have to foot the bill for a week long stay in NC. 

I have a really bad germ phobia so unfortunately the idea of having him around a ton of people at a 4th of July thing is out of the question.  If it was just to go to NC to see my Grandfather and Grandmother then that is a different story.  I don't trust people and their germs though and I am going to be so tired also I wouldn't want to go most likely!

LoveOfMikesLife

every year my boss has a HUGE 4th of July party, I'm due June 10th and we plan on going! LO will be around 4 weeks old give or take. We dont have a long car ride so that helps but I have no problem with her being exposed to other people that young. Maybe I'll bring some hand sanitizer? For the most part DH or I will have her in a sling so we wont have to worry about a lot of people asking to hold her. If someone does want to hold her then as long as they wash their hands and arent wasty face then I'm fine with it