***Froggi***

JJ&BB1146

I'm not sure if they're totally comparable, but I feel like my DD and your DS have similar sleep styles (unfortunately!). I remember you saying that at 1 yr old, your pedi told you to do full on CIO (with no intervals ala Ferber). Can you tell me why this was suggested? How often was he waking and why was he waking? How long did it take for this to work?

FWIW, we did Ferber at 9 months and it worked well until she got really sick last month and then it all went to sh!t. She's back to STTN for the most part (at least from 11/12-5/6ish). We usually put her down between 7:30/8 and many nights she's up at least once if not twice between that time and 11 or 12. She wakes up between 5/6 for an early morning nursing session and most days will sleep for another 1.5-2 hrs.  How does that compare to L?

Mrs.Froggianna

Ferber never completely worked for us.  He'd go down okay, but he never stopped wanting me to rock him in the middle of the night--even a month or more after dropping all our middle of the night and early a.m. feedings.  He'd wake up twice a night, sometimes around midnight and then again at 2 or 3 a.m., or sometimes he'd wake up later.  His main problem was that he wasn't wanting to put himself back to sleep.  And we started Ferber a little after 6 months old.  It was sooooo disheartening to hear about all the Ferber success stories when we were struggling 5 to 6 months after starting.

When we talked to our pedi and described the problems we were having he said he was (and I hate this word, esp. used in reference to a toddler) "manipulating" us.  Basically he'd learned that we'd come when he cried (a good thing), but he was crying out 2 or 3 times a night because wanted us, not necessarily because he needed us.  This is where differing parenting philosophies come in.  If I'd been able to function normally on jacked up sleep and not morph into a raving b!tch, maybe I would've just dealt with it.  But I couldn't.  It wasn't safe for me or my baby or my marriage.  So Dr. C told us to put him to bed and not go to him till in the morning.  (Unless of course we heard the "something is seriously not right" cry, not the "I'm pissed and I want you to come here NOW" cry.)  I loathed the idea of full on CIO and told DH it was all on him.  He spent the night upstairs in the guest room and said Luke woke up once and cried for 10 minutes, then again later on for 5 minutes.  The second night I think he might have cried for 5 minutes.  After that we were done with middle of the night wakings.

All that said, every once in awhile he still has those 30-40 min after going down wakings like you were describing below.  But if he happens to stir or wake in the night he puts himself back down 99% of the time.  Have you had your 1 yr well check yet?  If not, maybe discuss this with your pedi.  If you have, maybe think about scheduling an appointment to specifically discuss it.  Sleep issues can be tricky, especially when you're in the thick of sleep deprivation/frustration.  Sometimes it can help to get some help from the docs and people who can tell you, "it's most definitely not gas" or "she doesn't need xyz"  KWIM?  Good luck!!  Like I said, I feel your pain.  Luke and your LO had a very similar first year sleep issues.  I'll be holding good thoughts for you guys!!