How would you feel about this? (IF Waiting Room Question)

FraggleChic

I had to go pick up my next script of Clomid and do my pregnancy test this morning.  As I was walking past the IF clinic I saw a couple in the waiting room with their two young children and I immediately got upset.  Who takes their children to an INFERTILITY clinic waiting room? Some people just don't think, I guess! I felt so bad for the other couples in there who were waiting, staring at their hands.  If I had had an appointment today I would probably have had difficulty keeping my feelings to myself. It's bad enough that the geniuses who redesigned this area of the hospital decided to put the IF clinic right next to the OB/GYN scheduling desk so as I'm waiting to be seen I have to listen to all kinds of pregnant women booking their pre-natal appointments. Grrr....

 

Bitter betty, table for one! 

pennylanehd

It doesn't bother me awfully much when a single woman brings her child and has nobody else with her.  In my head, I can at least blame childcare issues.  If a couple comes in, I'm ok as long as the whole family goes back when the woman is called...I blame childcare issues and give the spouse kudos for being uber-supportive.  What annoys me (said as I join the bitter betty camp) is when a spouse or parent comes with the woman and kid, and the woman goes back alone, leaving the kid in the waiting room.  I mean, really, what is the logic there?  Couldn't you have your DH or mom walk around the block a couple of times or sit in the car or in one of the many nearby cafes just out of human kindness? 

gervaisj6

I felt the same when a lady came in one day talking to the nurse about her new baby, she had the full wallet pictures too. I called my sister who suffers from IF, and she said...calm down, remember, that lady has been where you are. . . After she said that, I thought about it. Now, I doubt het DH has NO sperm, like mine, but maybe... I still get upset with kids in the office though.

FraggleChic

I guess it's easy to forget about how IF makes you feel as soon as you get a take home baby.

PrettyAccountant

Trying to see something positive in that - maybe she was an egg donor?

I still don't think she should have brought the kids in though but people don't think.

FraggleChic

PrettyAccountant:

Trying to see something positive in that - maybe she was an egg donor?

I still don't think she should have brought the kids in though but people don't think.

They don't do IVF on post at my clinic but anywhere else I guess that could be a possibility. 

inlovewithB

pennylanehd:

It doesn't bother me awfully much when a single woman brings her child and has nobody else with her.  In my head, I can at least blame childcare issues.  If a couple comes in, I'm ok as long as the whole family goes back when the woman is called...I blame childcare issues and give the spouse kudos for being uber-supportive.  What annoys me (said as I join the bitter betty camp) is when a spouse or parent comes with the woman and kid, and the woman goes back alone, leaving the kid in the waiting room.  I mean, really, what is the logic there?  Couldn't you have your DH or mom walk around the block a couple of times or sit in the car or in one of the many nearby cafes just out of human kindness? 

This happened at our first appointment. The kid was running around like a nut. I was so annoyed. 

inlovewithB

At our first RE's office people would bring in their babies just to "show off" to the staff. I can't tell you how many times I saw parents bringing their newborn twins in that office. I swear I will NOT do that if we ever get a take home baby!

chicagogirl10

Sometimes people do this at my clinic as well.  It drives me CRAZY, because I think it is so incredibly insensitive, and I recently even asked the receptionist about it.  She said when she sees people do that, she asks them to go wait in another waiting room, assuming there are two parents there. 

I recently saw a mother, father, and two little ones with their GIGANTIC stroller sitting in the first seat in my RE's waiting room.  I wanted to stab myself with a pen from my purse.

My husband and I have discussed this, and we have vowed that if we are ever blessed enough to have a baby, and we are back at the RE for #2, if he needs to come to the office with me, he will wait in a separate waiting room with our child.  He is a pretty laid back guy, and it even bothers him.

You would think that someone who is in the RE's office would understand, but I was thinking that maybe this couple is suffering from secondary (or in their case tertiary) infertility, and they didn't have this issue with babies #1 and #2?  I have no idea, because all I could think about was how insensitive it was to the other patients.  You're right - everyone just looks down at their hands and seems uncomfortable and even more depressed.

 Who knows.  All I can say is that sometimes people suck.

abvernon

It really does not bother me b/c it shows they were once in my shoes and to me is shows she was successful in her treatment.

Who knows, that lady may have Secondary IF.

naybird

My RE doesn't allow children in her office, and I am thankful for that.  I do understand there are times when you have no other choice but to bring your child with you.. but there are ways to be tactful about it. Like call the clinic ahead of time and tell them the problem. Ask if you can come in the back entrance and maybe wait in a different room. But I doubt having the whole family in the waiting room was necessary.

KaliChick

When we were at our RE's on Friday a woman came in with her little boy (I'd say about 4 or 5).  The child was VERY loud.  I will give my clinic credit in that they rushed her back into the room (I'm pretty sure we were the only other people there at that point).  The mother apologized and said "spring break."  Even when they were in the room I could hear them.  Fortunately it didn't bother me too much (I'm around kids all day long), but as I said to my husband "what if we had been in there to follow up after a failed cycle?"  He got it then.

My first RE said they purposefully scheduled patients in treatment at different times than patients that were pregnant (even if just found out pregnant). 

kbrodie06

sorry to say that I have had to take my daughter 2 times to appointments. I did not have a babysitter and husband could not take off work and family lives out of state. Not my idea of a good time to have a 3 year old sit there when I know others do not have kids and even worse is that she had to sit in the exam room when they did an internal ultrasound, asking "mommy why are you taking your pants off"?  Not a fun experience in any regards, sorry.  Sorry it happens

ecleptic

Truthfully, kids don't bother me. Do I get envious? sure- but my envy seems to go the way of wanting to hold and hug every child I see more than being upset at their presence. I like to see babies brought in to the clinic to show off successes- it makes me feel comfortable and confident in my doctor's ability to get me pregnant too.

I've always felt a little awkward in these types of posts though- I love baby showers, I adore my nephews and nieces and love spending time with them (I feel terrible if I dont see them weekly), I don't feel especially jealous of pregnant women. I'm a weird infertile.

km0426

I have seen this a couple of times.. but usually the child goes back to the room with the parent(s).  However oddly enough I don't think it ever really bothered me.  In fact I remember wondering if those kids were also products of ART and it kind of gives me hope to see them.. maybe I am in the minority but I guess I just assumed that these couples have had and do have infertility issues so I don't think I minded it as much knowing that they probably struggled for there little ones as well. 

blueberries8

I see kids in the fertility clinic all the time - some days it bothers me, but usually it's a mom alone with her child during the early morning monitoring hours. However, it is not cool at all if both parents are there and clearly one is available to watch the kid. If it's an important appointment and the husband wants to be there (i.e. not the usual morning monitoring), I judge them for not getting a babysitter or making other arrangements.

amaksym05

I see it ALL the time at my RE office..I try not to let it upset me..but it always does!