How much weight would you put on this?

SuperThat1006

DH just turned 38 last week. I will be 29 next month.

We have talked about having another baby sometime in the near future ... even as soon as the next couple months, though I'm still BFing and don't know if that will be possible.

Anyway, my dad and MIL split time watching DD during the week. While MIL has told DH she thinks we need to get pregnant again right away, my Dad is more than overwhelmed at the thought of having two under two to take care of.

I think he would do it (and he understands DH is no spring chicken so we're probably not going to wait too long), but I also don't want him to be stressed every day.

My question is: how much weight would you put on that factor when trying to decide about Baby #2? Obviously, we are so unbelievably thankful to have free babysitting and don't want to overwhelm my dad, but we also want to have a second baby when we feel we're ready.

I'm looking forward to hearing different perspectives

 

LCB34

I would have children on your own time. 

But, I would find childcare for the days your Dad now has Abigail.  Even if you just put Abigail in a part time day school (like a mother's morning out at a church or something) your Dad would probably be thankful.  He could keep the baby - and then get Abigail for a few hours if her school is just in the morning or what not.

It wouldn't be too expensive and your Dad would still be such an active part of watching your children.

mamabear2010

I think it depends on your financial situation. Would you be able to put your DD in a part-time daycare so your dad would only have to take care of one baby? That might be a good compromise.

SimoneSays22

My first thought is "Go for it and figure out childcare later!" because I'm impulsive like that. But really, it is pretty important to figure out who will watch the children. What are your other childcare options? Is there someone that can help your father? Could you afford day care if you had to use it?

I guess I'd make sure you could find/afford a backup plan. Not to sound like debbie downer, but what if your second child had some sort of special need? You'd want to make sure you could provide adequate care for him/her. 

BLUEIEDHIPPY

I would never have another until I knew I was ready!! You want to enjoy the kids not feel overwhelmed everyday I wouldn't do it until the time is right for you, dh & your lo. 

MrsG NC

LCB34:

I would have children on your own time. 

But, I would find childcare for the days your Dad now has Abigail.  Even if you just put Abigail in a part time day school (like a mother's morning out at a church or something) your Dad would probably be thankful.  He could keep the baby - and then get Abigail for a few hours if her school is just in the morning or what not.

It wouldn't be too expensive and your Dad would still be such an active part of watching your children.

I like this idea a lot. It seems that would probably provide some relief for him, plus he can enjoy spending quality time with baby #2 as he did with Abigail. 

wearenutts

LCB34:

I would have children on your own time. 

But, I would find childcare for the days your Dad now has Abigail.  Even if you just put Abigail in a part time day school (like a mother's morning out at a church or something) your Dad would probably be thankful.  He could keep the baby - and then get Abigail for a few hours if her school is just in the morning or what not.

It wouldn't be too expensive and your Dad would still be such an active part of watching your children.

This is what I would do to. You can't worry about how your parents would feel when it comes to having a family of your own. I would do it when your ready. The just what LCB said. Put Abigail in part time child care so you wouldn't overwhelm your dad or MIL. 

SuperThat1006

wearenutts:

LCB34:

I would have children on your own time. 

But, I would find childcare for the days your Dad now has Abigail.  Even if you just put Abigail in a part time day school (like a mother's morning out at a church or something) your Dad would probably be thankful.  He could keep the baby - and then get Abigail for a few hours if her school is just in the morning or what not.

It wouldn't be too expensive and your Dad would still be such an active part of watching your children.

This is what I would do to. You can't worry about how your parents would feel when it comes to having a family of your own. I would do it when your ready. The just what LCB said. Put Abigail in part time child care so you wouldn't overwhelm your dad or MIL. 

Great suggestion - thanks, ladies!

I would definitely look into part-time childcare though, knowing my dad, he's stubborn and would insist on making it work. 

BC&MM

I agree with LCB. You certainly don't want to overwhelm your Dad and not have him be able to handle it. Which in turn your kids lose out too.

I am excited for another baby too, but we will have double the daycare. So your are lucky.

SuperThat1006

BC&MM:

I agree with LCB. You certainly don't want to overwhelm your Dad and not have him be able to handle it. Which in turn your kids lose out too.

I am excited for another baby too, but we will have double the daycare. So your are lucky.

Yes, we are! Trust me, we know this

BC&MM

SimoneSays22:

My first thought is "Go for it and figure out childcare later!" because I'm impulsive like that. But really, it is pretty important to figure out who will watch the children. What are your other childcare options? Is there someone that can help your father? Could you afford day care if you had to use it?

I guess I'd make sure you could find/afford a backup plan. Not to sound like debbie downer, but what if your second child had some sort of special need? You'd want to make sure you could provide adequate care for him/her. 

Also, this. With Hunter having acid reflux, which I know is not a special need and the milk protein allergy...he was a difficult baby and sometimes with eating and sleeping still is. Take this into though when playing.

HairStylinWifey

LCB34:

I would have children on your own time. 

But, I would find childcare for the days your Dad now has Abigail.  Even if you just put Abigail in a part time day school (like a mother's morning out at a church or something) your Dad would probably be thankful.  He could keep the baby - and then get Abigail for a few hours if her school is just in the morning or what not.

It wouldn't be too expensive and your Dad would still be such an active part of watching your children.

I agree with this. Plus, I think you could have an open and honest conversation about it with your Dad(even if he insists on making it work:)). That would probably help you with your decision making also, even though you guys should definitely go for it when YOU are ready!

LCB34

ChrissieW3:

wearenutts:

LCB34:

I would have children on your own time. 

But, I would find childcare for the days your Dad now has Abigail.  Even if you just put Abigail in a part time day school (like a mother's morning out at a church or something) your Dad would probably be thankful.  He could keep the baby - and then get Abigail for a few hours if her school is just in the morning or what not.

It wouldn't be too expensive and your Dad would still be such an active part of watching your children.

This is what I would do to. You can't worry about how your parents would feel when it comes to having a family of your own. I would do it when your ready. The just what LCB said. Put Abigail in part time child care so you wouldn't overwhelm your dad or MIL. 

Great suggestion - thanks, ladies!

I would definitely look into part-time childcare though, knowing my dad, he's stubborn and would insist on making it work. 

You could always play the socialization card.  By the time baby #2 comes around, Abigail will be closer to 2 and interacting with other children is important at that age!

 

 

KoalaBear103

kirky05:

LCB34:

I would have children on your own time. 

But, I would find childcare for the days your Dad now has Abigail.  Even if you just put Abigail in a part time day school (like a mother's morning out at a church or something) your Dad would probably be thankful.  He could keep the baby - and then get Abigail for a few hours if her school is just in the morning or what not.

It wouldn't be too expensive and your Dad would still be such an active part of watching your children.

I agree with this!

Also, can I just say I'm pretty excited that you're contemplating TTC soon?! 

write2nicole

ChrissieW3:

Great suggestion - thanks, ladies!

I would definitely look into part-time childcare though, knowing my dad, he's stubborn and would insist on making it work. 

You could always tell him that you've decided to do it for Abby's benefit as much as anything else. By that time she'd be old enough to benefit from the socialization with other kids her age, as well as any educational program. Maybe you could even start the program early enough so you could benefit while you're on mat leave!

Soter1

LCB34:

I would have children on your own time. 

But, I would find childcare for the days your Dad now has Abigail.  Even if you just put Abigail in a part time day school (like a mother's morning out at a church or something) your Dad would probably be thankful.  He could keep the baby - and then get Abigail for a few hours if her school is just in the morning or what not.

It wouldn't be too expensive and your Dad would still be such an active part of watching your children.

This...