s/o SAHM (or anyone) do you play a role in DH's career?

4Speedy

I am curious about the flip side of the question below.  This board frequently discusses how DH's help at home, but I am wondering how the DW's help their DH's at work.  Do you do anything to help your DH advance in his career, above and beyond creating a supportive homelife?

When DH and I were first married, I typed up all of his powerpoint presentations since that was not a strong skill of his.  Now he has staff to do that for him but I feel like I still help him out quite a bit.  His advancement depends to a minor degree on his public image within the industry he works in.  I've volunteered for various committees through his company's charitable foundation so his name is recognizable throughout the organization.  Also, networking with other wives sometimes yields some pretty interesting information about who is on the fast track.  We also host a lot of co-workers at our home. 

Does anyone else feel like part of their role as a SAHW is to help thier DH with career advancement?  (Assuming the DH wants career advancement--I'm not talking about being a pushy wife who is only interest in her DH's larger paycheck.)

How do you support DH's career?

wellfleet04

The only thing I do is not get in his way. He's able to travel for work, stay late, be on charity boards, etc because I do everything else (kids, house, all appointments, meetings etc related to kids/home life, bill paying, family obligations, etc).

eclaires

Since his career is the important one (you know, since I SAH), one big thing that we agreed to is that I am pretty much always willing to move if it's best for his job/career.  We moved for his job a few years ago, and we will likely move again in a few years - I'm hopeful it will be back to Indy (where we lived before), but it might not be.

Other than that, I do some proofreading here and there for him for articles he co-authors or writes on his own - usually 1-2x per week.  I don't typically understand the content, but I can handle the grammar portion. 

Another thing that I think probably a lot of wives do - I'm generally always prepared to take care of the kids if he needs to go in.  He's not on call, per se, but his job right now requires a lot of work at a group of zero energy houses.  That means he has to go to the houses a LOT, at really weird times, if there is a problem with the various appliances/HVAC/data collection stuff.  It's important for his career that he have that flexibility.

I'd also be willing to do things in the community or host things at our home if it were necessary, but I don't really foresee that happening any time soon - maybe in the future depending on what he is doing.

On the flip side, I know he do any of these things for me if I were working, so I don't really mind helping him (and our family) by doing these small things.

 

joy143dh

I'm not SAHM, but DH owns his own auto repair biz and I help out a lot with marketing,  computer, and some paperwork/taxes.

firefightersgal

I'm not a SAHM anymore, but I have always helped my DH with his career.  I always proof read things for him and sometimes help him set up for teaching classes.  I give him a lot of tips on how to be a better instructor and listen to his presentations before he gives them.  Before he was hired full-time, I helped him organize his certifications and resume.  I'm the president of the union's auxiliary, so I am involved in the happenings of the fire department.  I encourage him all the time.  He is eligible for a promotion in September, but he has to get the highest score on a test to obtain the position.  I help him study for that test.

The most important thing I do for him is to be his sounding board.

ETA: I'm also here to hold down the fort while he's away at his many Continuing Education classes. 

mom2one

Nope...thankfully he doesn't need my help because, well, I don't understand what he does. lol

4Speedy

I should add, I also gave up a really good career.  I was on the fast track at my company, also, but there's no way we could have managed to have any semblance of a family life if we were both working crazy hours.  Since we both had equal career opportunity, it made more sense for me to give up mine.  My DH's job is his passion, whereas I liked my career because it paid well and it was prestigious.  But I wasn't in love with the work and get joy out of it like my DH does.  I'll go back to work but since I will now be seen as lacking ambition due to my "break,"  I will have no upward mobility.  So I guess you could say I also contributed my career to DH's.

ali-1411

No, not at all.  He never brings work home, either.

just.a.lurker

My DH is a teacher, so there isn't a ton I can really do for him.  I've helped him grade tests from time to time, and helped him prepare for a coaching interview, but for the most part, he handles the day to day tasks of his job himself. 

brightning

Like a PP said, I gave up my career for his. I didn't make as much as he does, but I loved it, had gone to school for it, and was good at it. I've also moved twice for his job.

I also think tolerating his difficult hours is a job in itself. In order for him to have the shift he prefers, I am left to do dinner and bedtime alone every night. 

emiliemadison

Aside from being emotionally supportive of him, letting him vent, listening to him talk about work, and not complaining about the crazy hours or him having to leave family things when he's on call, etc...there's not much I *can* do. He doesnt have the type of job that would allow me to physically do anything to help him. I mean, once in a while I show up with him to company events or when his boss is in town and invites his group out. But as far as career advancement, there's truly nothing available for me to do because that's not the way his particular department or business group functions.

J&A2008

wellfleet04:

The only thing I do is not get in his way. He's able to travel for work, stay late, be on charity boards, etc because I do everything else (kids, house, all appointments, meetings etc related to kids/home life, bill paying, family obligations, etc).

Similar.  I help him with some of his travel plans, but otherwise my largest role is simply being here and allowing him to focus on work.  I try to get him to take a similar approach to the house, "letting" him stay out of raising the kids and such, but he doesn't seem interested in that sort of arrangement. 

wifeandmama

We used to live a few blocks from his work, so we spent a lot of time there (it's a craft brewery sooo it's not a bad place to be around!)  I try to promote the beer as much as possible, wear the gear, chat with it about my mom friends, give out 6packs to friends, etc.  I also help get ready for their annual Christmas open house (making food, etc) and then I stick around to refill things or bartend a bit.  His company is more family-like than a work environment so I do what I can, whenever I can.  With 2 young kids and living farther away now, it's more difficult, so I try to just promote as much as I can!

J&A2008

wifeandmama:

We used to live a few blocks from his work, so we spent a lot of time there (it's a craft brewery sooo it's not a bad place to be around!)  I try to promote the beer as much as possible, wear the gear, chat with it about my mom friends, give out 6packs to friends, etc.  I also help get ready for their annual Christmas open house (making food, etc) and then I stick around to refill things or bartend a bit.  His company is more family-like than a work environment so I do what I can, whenever I can.  With 2 young kids and living farther away now, it's more difficult, so I try to just promote as much as I can!

Sounds fun!  I'm sure your friends appreciate your H's job!

Rebekah1021

I do do some volunteer work with wives of some of his colleagues. Although, I have been friends with some of them since college.

I do go with him to functions, but other than that, I make sure he looks nice. 

Carol*Brady2

Yes, I think so. He is able to say yes to everything-travel, meetings, work dinners, etc because he has no daycare pick ups to do, no housework, etc. Most of his clepsydra are 2 income families & do not have the availability, flexibility, that he has. His career & mine are the same & we both know I sacrificed a lot SAH...so it's appreciated. I also talk shop w/ him a lot since we have the same background-he can bounce ideas off me )

MTbridess

Man, as a working mom, who is the main money-maker/provider, I think I'm missing out on having a good SAH-spouse.  DH is stepping it up these days, but I think us women still have a different perspective than any guy.  After reading your respones, I wish I had an awesome SAHW (in addition to DH)!