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Baby Showers
What to do? (vent/long)
DH is lucky he's not home. He would have heard me flip out on the phone. I think the whole area heard me. At this point I'm not even going to my shower. My mom asked me if I would be mad if she would invite her two cousins to my baby shower. I said I don't have an issue as long as they don't fight. (they are sisters but don't get along) I told her invite them over the phone. My mom did not want to do that said it was RUDE. To mail an invite. So I had to hunt down the address to one and I mailed it. Well My mom calls me saying I was talking to my cousin. You only mailed one. (That's all I had) Any way my mom goes on saying how one of them is coming with her DIL and twin boys. And the other is coming with one of her daughters. I flip out I told her about the DIL I only met her once and she wasn't nice and that I don't want strangers at my shower! And on top of that her twin boys have "issues" I don't want to deal with that. So my mom acted like a B on the phone. SHE PULLED THE RACE CARD (DIL is black). And how she doesn't know my friends and they are coming! WTH! And she went on saying I know you are not all there,when it comes to the baby and people. She knew I was mad,bc I started hyperventilating on the phone. She goes breathe its not good for the baby. Don't you want a healthy baby?! WTH!! She then goes don't forget we love you, even tho we don't say it. I just hung up... I'm also mad bc none of my family has RSVP for the shower and only one friend did. Most of my family has not even said congrats about the pregnancy. So really they can all take it and shove it!
I'm about to drop my mom all together. Before I have a breakdown. She doesn't have anything nice to say about LO's name. (It was Dh's grandpas name) She told family that the name was horrible and that it was Theodoro! It's THEODORE! If she says something at the shower about it I know there will be drama. She is hosting it with my MIL. (Who is great.) But my mom did not want to buy or fill out invites, so I did that. She did not want to buy cake so I'm doing that. And when she cooks people get sick so everyone is making something.
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Re: What to do? (vent/long)
I don't know how to help you, this seems really dramatic over nothing... at least you know the cousins are coming, unlike the rest of the family. I'm not sure why you don't want them there, that part is unclear. Maybe you don't know them very well, but do you HATE them? Or just despise getting a gift from someone you don't know very well? Maybe you should just step back and let your mom/MIL handle the details....
I have this thing where I don't like it when people invite themselfs to things. (The DIL) last time she came over she pulled a chair across the room and didn't mingle and was rude to people. And her kids destroyed things and terrorized my moms dog. (kicking him) I don't hate her I just don't like her and her lack of social and parenting skills. I'm not in it for gifts. I just wanted a little get together. It is now over 60 people who I do not even know. It's not my shower anymore.
Last time I checked the hostess decide how many people can be invited and the MTB decides WHO can be invited. I think your mom missed that memo.
It sounds like there has been a long history between you and your mom and this has become the last straw. This situation sucks and it's extremely rude for guests to invite other guests without getting the ok. But, if the way you're reacting in your OP is the way you react in IRL, to save you some stress and drama I think you should let it go. Let the DIL act like an azz. It's NOT a reflection on you. As for her terror kids, if kids are allowed you're SOL but if no one else is bringing their kids you can always make a stand on that one and say "adults only." Maybe the DIL won't come if the kids can't, KWIM?
After two losses, third time was a charm.
pm me for blog link
Wow, this. Take a chill pill. Your mom is right, having a cow over something stupid isn't good for the baby.
On another note, I'm confused. Why do you have a July '11 preemie siggy? Is there something I'm missing?
He's the single greatest thing I've done in my life and reminds me daily of how fun (and funny) life can be. He's turned out pretty swell for having such a heartless and evil mother.
First of all I'm confused why you would tell your mom you would send invites out to TWO people when you only had ONE. Second of all, you say these are people you don't know but obviously you DO know them enough to know they fight with each other and don't get along and the DIL is rude.
I think at this point all you can do is take a deep breath and go with the flow. Like the other pp said...anything they do will not reflect on you. They are adult women so it will only reflect badly on them. My mom invited people I actually only knew through her womens' group so they were basically strangers to me but very good friends of hers. BTW...my mom was not the hostess...but she felt it was important they be invited.
I also agree with the other pp about the twins. If NO kids are invited and it is an all adult reception then let DIL know that she will need to find a sitter for her kids. Actually your mom needs to do this (or your MIL) since they are hosting. Just make sure there are NO other kids there or "s" will hit the fan...if you know what I mean.
I can see not liking the name THEODORO, cuz that is wierd..but Theodore is cute.
c'mon a little baby Theo! How cute!