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I just want this to be over. :(

brideonjuly8brideonjuly8 member
in Austin Babies

I'm having a really rough time.  :( 

I had to go to the ER Monday night for severe pain and large clots.  I was there from 11pm to 6am, had 2 u/s, an IV, 2 rounds of morphine, 2 catheders, blood work, and turns out I have a UTI on top of everything else now.  I was told to call my doctor if the clots were bigger than a golf ball, and after fishing them out of the toilet last night (Ick!) and determining they were too big, I was put on bed rest until today when I went back to the doc to get checked out.  Yet another u/s and round of blood work.  U/S looks fine, can't see any remaining tissue and ute looks good, but my HCG is still 144, and it should be 0 or close to it by now (definitely should be under 50).  THAT MEANS, more effing pain, bleeding and clots this weekend most likely and more b/w on Monday and if my levels haven't gone down or have risen, then I get to have another effing D&C. 

I'm tapped out.  Little touched my belly this morning before my mom took him to school and said "baby!"  and I somehow managed to get out "no, honey, no more baby"  and he looked at me with the saddest eyes I've ever seen from him and said "no Tiny?". 

I can't effing handle this anymore.  :(

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