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Multiples
After 2 rounds of IVF & 2 rounds of FET, we were blessed with identical twin girls!
where's the baby fever?
I swear, "everyone" says that when your kid hits a year old, the baby fever kicks in. Yeah, I do miss them as teeny tiny babies, and I get all "awwwwww" when I look back at them as newborns BUT I am in no way shape or form ready for #3.
The minute they were pulled out I was asking my Peri when I could get pregnant again. Seriously, as he was stitching me up. I even had a consult with the RE two months later to inquire about trying again later last year. All that was was missing pregnancy. Not really a desire for another baby, if that makes sense. Pregnancy was an incredibly special time for me after all of the infertility struggles.
The older they get, the more I realize I am just not ready. I may never be. The logical side of me is taking over for sure. These girls are a handful. And they are my world. And truthfully, I fear that #3 would strain my relationship with MH even further than having infant twins already did. I already feel so stretched thin between being a mom, wife, daughter, sister, friend, full-time employee, boss, etc. Plus how would we afford college for a third kid?
It just feels weird because I see so many people with <1 year olds trying again, and going through infertility treatments again and I just can't imagine it. My life feels complete right now. That isn't to say the "fever" won't strike me later, but right now, these girls take up all.my.time. They are so jealous of each other. OMG, another baby would send them over the edge. And that doesn't seem fair.
Total ramble, but am I alone in feeling this way?
After 2 rounds of IVF & 2 rounds of FET, we were blessed with identical twin girls!
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Re: where's the baby fever?
You are definitely not alone!!! I was just thinking this the other day because my friend and I were discussing how it seems everyone around us is either pregnant or trying to get pregnant!! I feel like there is just no way I could split my time with another baby right now because the girls are so needy of my time...and like you said I can't imagine what it would do to my relationship with DH. Recently a friend of mine brought over her 4 month old baby and I thought for sure after seeing him I would have major baby fever....but i didn't!!!
Sometimes I also think it has to do with having 2 the first time, its like they already have that built in friend that most people are trying for when they go for a second kid (I may be completely wrong...just a guess??)
I definitely don't think you're alone in feeling that way. Lots of people are just done done after having a single baby, let alone TWO babies (or more).
I think if your life feels complete then you have to run with it. You may never have that urge to go back and grow your family more and that is so completely okay!
If we didn't have frosties, I'd probably feel the same way. But I just want the cycling and the what ifs and then whats to be over with. I want all my babies to be spoken for and if that means cycling again, so be it. I'm definitely in a rush to get that part of my life over with and I feel like, eh? what's a little more chaos?
I'll sleep when I'm dead :P
But seriously, I think it's totally normal to just feel done. My cousin has a 3 yo daughter and when she was first born she couldn't wait to go back and have another. Now, three years later, she *thinks* she wants to go back, but life is just starting to get easy again for her and she's starting to feel like a woman again (sexy, strong, confident), they're getting out more and now it's harder to go back.
I'm rambling, but my point is. For some people it's easier to go back soon and bang it all out at once. For others it's easier to wait and take time for themselves and their family. I don't think that any path is wrong as long as you're happy!
I think what makes me ponder this like I am right now is I will be 34 in July, and I really don't want to have any more kids past 35. So my deadline is fast approaching. I feel like if we wanted #3, it would have to be soon, but I am not ready.
Getting old sucks! If I were in my mid-twenties, I wouldn't sweat it!
After 2 rounds of IVF & 2 rounds of FET, we were blessed with identical twin girls!
I do NOT have baby fever. We are done anyway, but honestly my friends that are having their second baby I am not even the slightest bit envious of. I didn't love being pregnant, and newborns are EXHAUSTING. I can't imagine running after two toddlers AND having to deal with those things.
DH only wanted one and and I wanted two. So I win, and we are done. I was never a big 'baby' person anyway if that makes sense. So I can say with some certainty that I won't have baby fever ever.
I totally get it. Before my girls, I didn't like babies. At all. Last babies I held were my brothers 27 years prior.
After 2 rounds of IVF & 2 rounds of FET, we were blessed with identical twin girls!
All I have to say is that I hope you are using some reliable birth control! I did not have baby fever and was not ready for another pregnancy or 3 under 2. After dealing with IF for so long, I naively decided that I would never go back on bc pills. It took me a long time to come to terms with having another baby so soon after the boys were born. So I totally understand where you are coming from!!
BC + condoms = no chance in hell. LOL
After 2 rounds of IVF & 2 rounds of FET, we were blessed with identical twin girls!
I had never changed a diaper in my life! talk about a crash course. God has a sense of humor it seems. These two are my world! But I still dont see a baby in a store and go "ohhhh BABBBBYYY". It's ok not to want more
I was still bleeding from retained placenta after a D&C, asking my OB how long I had to wait to get KTFU again, lol.
After the raging postpartum hormones chilled out the urge went away. We're thinking of TTC #3 when the girls are 2, although who knows. I'm starting to feel the fever again, but there's no way in hell we're ready right now!
This is similar to me...I'll be 34 in November and same here as not wanting any past about 35. My baby fever comes and goes...lately it hasn't been on my mind until today when I was thinking our first storage payment for our frosties are due sometime this month! This a constant discussion w/ dh and I, usually he feels we shouldn't have anymore right now for different reasons but I do soon b/c of my age...he doesn't seem to get it b/c he is 4 yrs younger than me! We agreed to talk about it going back to the re in the fall...so we'll see:)
I used to always say I only wanted 2 kids. After I had the girls, I started to think I may want a third. But my mind has completely changed and now I'm 99.99% sure I'm done. I had a rough pregnancy - on bedrest since 20 weeks. Then I had a rough delivery - I had a postpartum hemmorage that required a few blood transfusions, pulmonary edema, etc. I did not enjoy the infant stage - the first few months were so rough. I was so weak from the blood loss and recovering from the c-section. And the lack of sleep was horrible. Things started getting better as they got older. Then I started having severe back pain and found out I had a tumor in my spine. I had an emergency laminectomy to remove it (luckily it was benign!) I'm now 6 weeks out of surgery and this is the first week I could take care of my girls alone. My mom had to practically live with us for 5 weeks to help me take care of them because I couldn't lift them. So after that, I told myself my body is telling me it's had enough!
Also, like pp mentioned, I was never a baby person. I had never changed a diaper or really held a baby in my life until I had my own! I am far more enjoying the girls as they get older and I just can't see myself wanting a baby again. I also think it's better for us to just have 2 financially since I decided to SAH. And selfishly, I think that once the two go away to college, we'll hopefully have some money saved to travel and enjoy ourselves
I say all the time that this was some sort of cosmic joke. I'm an only child, I'm used to being totally autonomous, and I've never kept a plant alive longer than a few months. Yet I've been entrusted with not one, but two lives? When I wasn't even sure I wanted kids in the first place? Surely, you must be joking.
A friend that came to visit in the hospital told me that the memory of the birth and newborn days fades, because I was declaring at that point that no way in hell was I ever doing this again. 5 months in and I still don't believe that time will fade the memory of being PG (which I did not enjoy) or having newborns (the thought of which gives me cold sweats.)
The biggest hangup I've got to wanting more, beyond the whole not really liking small babies thing, is that #3 would be #3 and #4. I saw on my local MoMs group that someone has 2 sets of twins - 1 yr olds and 3 yr olds. I get chills just thinking of 4 under 4.
I understand all sides of this, but for me, I'm 100% done. I liked being pregnant, but I didn't love it. Zero desire to do it again. The thought of going through fertility treatments again makes me shudder. The thought of not going through treatments and just "seeing what happens" makes me confident I'll turn into a miserable, angry, mess again.
If I could get my tubes tied this instant, I'd do it. If DH would agree to get tied today, I'd drive him to the doctor and pick up a bag of peas on the way home. God bless the IUD!
This is my thought exactly. All my friends just had #2 and I am so glad I am not there anymore. I am very happy with our family just the way it is.
Add me to the list of those who feel the same way!! I cannot imagine taking on another child at this point. I can't imagine managing the two that I have with a big belly...there are some days when I feel like I can't even manage the two that I have WITHOUT a big belly.
I always said I only wanted 2 kids. DH always said he wanted 2 or 3. We have a great relationship, but having twins has put strain on it in ways that I never would have expected. I do not feel like we have quite worked out all of those strains yet, and I worry that adding a new baby to the mix would do more harm than good. Financially, 2 kids is much better for us than 3 would be. We are making a lot of sacrifices in order for me to SAH, and I'm not sure we could make it work with an extra kid and me being out of work for the additional years. And I don't feel like our house is really big enough for 3 kids. It's the perfect size for our family now, but I feel like it would get cramped with more than 2, and neither DH nor I want to move.
My biggest fear, though, is that we would end up with 4 rather than 3. I hyperovulate, and I am TERRIFIED of having another set of twins. Right now I feel 100% sure that I am done, but DH still hasn't agreed. Sometimes he says he feels like 2 is enough, but other times he says he'd like 3. I wish we were on the same page as far as that goes.