The Edward delema

AmyLaurel89

Edward is the name of my beloved father in law. My husband is determined that we use this name for the first born son he is desperately hoping I'm carrying. We will find out the gender in about 3 weeks.

I don't really like the name but I love the man it would honor.   I've offered it as a middle name and that idea gets a half-hearted reception.

ALL of my friends think immediately of Twilight when I make mention of the name and I'm nervous about choosing this overly popularized name since I am not really a fan of the books/movies. 

The REAL reason I'm hesitant is that if I start out honoring my DH's father, I will need to include a balance of family names in every subsequent child's name. I fear that someone will get left out and feel...jipped. In a family of sensitive people who want to be honored, I don't know quite what to do.

Thoughts? What would you do? Is the name too trendy? How do I approach the topic when we DO have a boy?

starlight8323

AmyLaurel89:

The REAL reason I'm hesitant is that if I start out honoring my DH's father, I will need to include a balance of family names in every subsequent child's name.

This is one of the many reasons why I plan to skip family names all together.

AnneShirleyBlythe

In a few years nobody will remember any of the names from Twilight. My kids middle name is Edward, and not a single person has mentioned the "reference"...he is named after my deceased father. 

alliejo725

AmyLaurel89:

ALL of my friends think immediately of Twilight when I make mention of the name and I'm nervous about choosing this overly popularized name since I am not really a fan of the books/movies. 

1. Stop hanging out with middle schoolers.

I love the name Edward. I think it's strong and classic, and the family connection is awesome. I understand your concern with honoring family members, though, and wanting to keep it balanced.

Really, though, they're your children, and no one HAS to be honored. It's a nice gesture, but you certainly shouldn't feel like all of your children have to honor somebody just because the oldest son does (which is pretty traditional, anyway).

If you don't love the name as a first name, don't feel obligated to use it. It's both of your child, so you both get equal say in his name. I think that using it as a middle name is a good compromise, especially if you're not crazy about it. This is probably the best option for you, considering what you've told us.

zaramarie81

Forget about Twilight. As discussed in a thread earlier today, the association isn't that strong and Edward is a great, classic name that transcends it.

In regards to honoring family members... I obviously don't know your family, but why do you think members would suddenly feel "owed" a name just because you chose to honor your father-in-law? That's not very gracious imo... no one is "owed" an honor like that. It's something special you do on a case by case basis (and certainly family members would understand why your husband would want to honor his own father?)

My twin sister honored my father and grandfather by giving her firstborn son their names as a middle name. No one felt like the next child had to have a family name! Her second son was given a family surname on her husband's side... nice. But I am not standing in line, demanding my sister name her fourth after me. That just makes no sense to me? And I'm her twin!

I hope I am not coming off as harsh here... I guess all I am trying to say is not to worry about that issue and if your fam makes a big deal of it, it's a mistake on their end.

FWIW, I love the name Edward.

BabyNSR

Eaglefoot23:

AmyLaurel89:

The REAL reason I'm hesitant is that if I start out honoring my DH's father, I will need to include a balance of family names in every subsequent child's name.

This is one of the many reasons why I plan to skip family names all together.

This exactly. I won't use family names at all for fear of leaving someone out. It may be irrational, but it's just how I feel.

Pookie's_Girl

I think that using Edward for a MN is a great compromise. You shouldn't feel pressured to give your son a name that you don't really like just because you want to honor someone else with that name. Talk it over with your DH, let him see your side of it. And, if anyone brings up the Twilight reference (and they're over the age of 13) tell them to start reading some grown up books. I decided to say screw Stephanie Meyer also and added Carlisle and Esme onto my baby name list even though I hated her books. Good names are good names, it's not like she owns them.

Tara415

Just a brief thought... This is your and your husband's baby. It's unfortunet that families try and (well meaning or otherwise) get too involved and be included in names, holidays, etc. You just can't please everyone. Is it even possible that you could have enough children to use all the names that want to be honored in this way? I had to set very strict bondaries with my family about what would happen in our family. For example, if DH and I choose to go to his family's Easter celebration, that does not mean my parents can demand an "equal time alotment" on that day, or any other day (which they were trying to do). We deside what's best for our family, and if that includes attending one side's holiday gathering, or choosing a name that WE want, which happens to also be the name of a particular family member, so be it. And everyone needs to respect that if they want to be a part of our lives. I know it's harsh, but some families require this type of bondary setting. 

gingermom2

I agree with everyone, Edward is a wonderful name. Pretty much any traditional name out there has been in some sort of literature or movie anyway.

forensicmama

Screw them... I'd use the name anyway, or use a similar name like Edwin.

saham07

BabyNSR:

Eaglefoot23:

AmyLaurel89:

The REAL reason I'm hesitant is that if I start out honoring my DH's father, I will need to include a balance of family names in every subsequent child's name.

This is one of the many reasons why I plan to skip family names all together.

This exactly. I won't use family names at all for fear of leaving someone out. It may be irrational, but it's just how I feel.

I am not afraid to leave out ANY family member.......or HONOR any family member! I have named children after some and left some out. I feel fine about it. This is an EARNED honor not a right.

PhilsWife07

Dilemma.

ericanandy

AnneShirleyBlythe:

In a few years nobody will remember any of the names from Twilight. My kids middle name is Edward, and not a single person has mentioned the "reference"...he is named after my deceased father. 

Exact same thing here.

I have an Andrew Edward 

718gemini

Would you like the name if it weren't for Twilight?  I couldn't figure that out from your post.  If so, I don't think the series is a reason not to use it.  If not, I think a MN is a perfect compromise.  Even if your husband has his heart set on it, it's your baby too... you have to find something that you both like.

AmyD583

alliejo725:

AmyLaurel89:

ALL of my friends think immediately of Twilight when I make mention of the name and I'm nervous about choosing this overly popularized name since I am not really a fan of the books/movies. 

1. Stop hanging out with middle schoolers.

I love the name Edward. I think it's strong and classic, and the family connection is awesome. I understand your concern with honoring family members, though, and wanting to keep it balanced.

Really, though, they're your children, and no one HAS to be honored. It's a nice gesture, but you certainly shouldn't feel like all of your children have to honor somebody just because the oldest son does (which is pretty traditional, anyway).

If you don't love the name as a first name, don't feel obligated to use it. It's both of your child, so you both get equal say in his name. I think that using it as a middle name is a good compromise, especially if you're not crazy about it. This is probably the best option for you, considering what you've told us.

I agree whole-heartedly

alohamora

Edward is one of our top choices for our future son, if we have one.  I think it's dumb if people think it's from Twilight, because it's a name that's been around for hundreds of years, used by many more influential people (hello, kings?) than a sparkly, sulky vampire.  Tell your friends to read some history books or something.

shopgirl_07

What kind of narcissists expect babies to be named after them? I've heard this argument before and I think it's so bizarre. If someone is upset that a baby isn't named after them, then I think they're not the type of person I'd want to name my baby after anyway.

lageorgiapaperie

Eaglefoot23:

AmyLaurel89:

The REAL reason I'm hesitant is that if I start out honoring my DH's father, I will need to include a balance of family names in every subsequent child's name.

This is one of the many reasons why I plan to skip family names all together.

 

this!

cZa

My son's name is Cullen and I have only been asked about Twilight once. I would go for it. Edward s a good strong name.

MidwestGidget

Edward as a name is a great boy's name, and the Twilight thing will die down in a few years (I hope!). Really, the girls all named "Bella," are going to have more problems with Twilight than boys named "Edward."

Before agreeing to the 'naming after existing family members' road, does DH have other requests too, like if it was a girl or if you have another boy? If so, then I wouldn't go down that road.

FWIW, my DH and I had the same talk. He wanted to name our son James no matter what, after his deceased grandfather. James isn't bad, but not what I wanted. We agreed that if it was a boy, then he would be named James MN LastName, and be called by whatever his mn was. DH liked this better than James as a mn since it was a more formal way of honoring his grandfather, but the end result would still be us calling our child by another name.

Naturally, we're having a girl. GL in your decision!