- Pregnancy
- Baby & Toddler
- Parents
- Getting Pregnant
- Baby Names
- Product Reviews
-
Registry
- Community
-
More
Want a personalized experience?
Download the free app
Parenting
ask me anything
go for it. kids are napping.
This discussion has been closed.
Re: ask me anything
I DID! I want details on the OW. (looks background, all.)
and also, have you issued an ultimatum?
Not married, single mom, wrecked at least one marriage at work, screwed her BFFs brother even though he was off limits, she looks ok but you can tell there's a skank/trash side to her that shows some.
Ultimatum. Not yet. We have more talking to do tonight. He keeps saying "it's not a competition, you're so jealous, why can't you understand that I can love a friend and you at the same time.." I'm calling a therapist tomorrow once I get his work schedule & figure out a sitter.
oh god. it's like a stand-off.
how do you solve that w/o an ultimatum? THERE MUST BE AN ULTIMATUM.
no friend time with hussy mc trampstamp.
Reason #32,432,455 I wish I could just blink and be there for a nestie.
Favorite book?
Favorite song?
Do you want me to drive up to K'zoo to kick ass?
Woah. I don't think I've caught all the updates but I hope therapy helps.
As curious as *I* am about these things too, I don't think this post is healthy in any way shape or form.
I mean, I'm sure it feels good to talk this out some. And this is great for that. But these things have a way of going downhill fast and I can just sense that might end up sitting at the other end of the computer feeling WORSE than before. (((HUGS)))
All Quiet On The Orient Express by Magnus Mills
Song changes moment to moment. True Faith by New Order is up there. Hurt, the live version, by NIN. SingSingSing by Benny Goodman.
Not yet but you're on the list LOL
can we find her on facebook? PIP!
I feel like he could have shut his mouth about her and this would never have been an issue IF IN FACT his intentions were noble.
he could have enjoyed a casual working friendship with her, and you'd be none the wiser (sometimes we are better off like that, right?) you'd have had no reason to try to suash this "friendship" had he not taken things too far.
his fault his loss.
im a therapist, take my advice.
Ooo, good choices!
4speedy pm
I appreciate the backup :-) It's ok, I feel bad 'cause I posted & left for a few hours & didn't answer anyone, that's all. Totally bad mom, I met a friend & her kids a the nature center even though Bryan puked this morning. I had to get the F out of here. (yes, she knew, he drank too much water & had a coughing fit.. )
Some. made pjs for sam, making a yoga/tote bag for my mom.
I rarely post here, and don't have any questions for you, I just wanted to let you know that even people who don't "know" you are rooting for you. I was so sad to see your update and read about what DH has been putting you through. I hope things work out soon and you can put this behind you.
Best to you and your kiddos (and I hope your DH returns from la la land soon!).
He's in love with her but doesn't want her physically. He says she's everything he wishes I was, he's fascinated, he is envious of her life and her freedom, etc. I'm quoting him, frankly I think he doesn't know wtf he wants but wtf do I know.
You know I love you girl, but this lifestyle is asking for trouble. I know you didn't ask for it now, but just having the seed planted in his brain...
Oh, I understand what you're saying now.
Then call him out on it. I mean, what do either of you have to lose with being honest now. Until you both are completely honest with your feelings here, you are never going to get anywhere.
Can you point out to him that you CAN be everything she is (free and single) if you kick his sorry ass out? Sounds to me as if he doesn't want a wife and family. That can be arranged.
DS - December 2006
DD - December 2008
Yeah, I'm going to have to go with EBB about the ultimatum- STAT! There is so many things wrong with what he is saying. Get your asses into therapy now (which you have said you are going to do, which is great)- I have to think any half decent therapist would back up the idea of him cutting all contact.
Really in simple terms it is her or his marriage & family. Make it that simple for him. I know you have said he has issues (ADHD, Asbergers) but does he not get how jealous and crappy those remarks would make you feel?? Fvck this 'it is not a competition, I can love a friend and love you' bullcrap. The basic fact is that NO friendship should be worth risking his marriage.
Huge hugs to you.
I'm sorry, but he's being an a*s. Its one thing to be open and honest and to admit that he got sucked in by her, developed some feelings, whatever it may be. Fine, whatever. Obviously not ideal but he was honest.
BUT, to tell you that she's everything he wishes you were? I'd chop his b*alls off. Really, thats just so mean and horrible to tell your wife, the mother of you children. That would crush me. I would be so angry that here I was, struggling to be the best mother, wife, employee, whatever to keep the family going and then to say he admires her freedom? WTF, maybe if she wasn't busy being a skanky hoar-bag biatch and took some responsibility for herself he'd realize that she wasn't as 'free' as he'd think.
Sounds a little like a mid-life crisis. Like he doesn't want to be tied down to a wife and kids and is looking for just a carefree lifestyle. I'd give an ultimatum .
He says she's everything he wishes I was, he's fascinated, he is envious of her life and her freedom, etc.
but he doesn't want to touch her? at all? because she's skanky? my question is, don't you question that?
and Holy Heck Yes to Lari's take on it. Dude, is the grass greener now that i am free from you and NOT skanky??
I am sorry. I, like many others, are angry about his crazy speak.
Oh and her freedom?? I'm confused if you guys all met together on a play date, she has kids, yes? How mysterious is this single mom prior home wrecker of a coworker?
Tell thatasshole he's everything you wish he wasn't.
I would never get over that comment. Seriously. I'm so sad for you.
Dude, this. OMG. Can you get over him saying that?
Alex (11/14/06) and Nate (5/25/10)
"Want what you have, do what you can, be who you are." - Rev. Forrest Church
This. I'm so sorry. I don't think I could ever get past him saying that. Unless he's willing to cut all ties w/ her and go to counseling with you and promise that he's 100% committed to making his marriage with you work, I don't think I'd even be willing to try working past that comment. I'm sorry you're going through this--I am so angry & sad for you.
This. I'm so sorry. ((hugs))
This is so not okay. (((hugs)))
And I call bullshit on the "doesn't want her physically" bit. My guess is that's all he's seeing since you're obviously much more awesome.
yeah- I think he is finally using part of his brain function to pretend that he doesn't want her physically (because I guess he realizes it would be wholly inapropriate to say as much to your wife..yet he doesn't realize that the rest is pretty much enough to send any love, trust, or bit of respect down the toilet...)
maybe in his head, it's ok to confess nonsexual feelings, but that it's way over the line to admit to sexual ones?
I am so sorry you have to be in this position- I don't think this is something I would ever recover from- those words are like terminal relationship cancer, dude.
Please have enough self esteem and respect to know you don't deserve such a lowlife.
If he doesn't agree that she is not allowed in the picture, then he isn''t worth fighting for! (even if he does agree...I don't know that I'd fight for him.)
this is so fvcking sad!! Im ANGRY.
Im so angry and sad.
Hugs! I guess I missed an update or two because i didn't realize he was so emotionally involved with her and admitting to all this.
I do think he is attracted to her and denying it.
No questions, just hugs!You do understand that this whole thing is about what he is lacking within himself, right? Oddly enough, it's not about you. It's all about him and his lack of character, his neediness.
Don't let him pull you down into thinking that you have done something wrong, or that somehow you are the cause of any of it.
It seriously makes me sick to read some of the things that he has said/done. But it's all on him.
Kori!!! I didn't know he had said some of those things. I really don't think there is any getting over that. I'd be broken.
I hope you do give him an ultimatum. He needs to know how serious this is, and how serious you are about not putting up with his shiz.
Please take care of YOU and the kids first. You deserve so much better.
This is what I'm thinking. The attraction to this girl has ZERO to do with her, and everything to do with how it makes him feel. This skanky mess looks up to him, pets his ego, laughs at his jokes, etc.
Something like this, but worse, happened to a girlfriend of mine in college. She'd been dating her boyfriend for 7 years. In high school she'd had a major falling out with her family, moved out, cut ties, and was on her own. She was struggling and he was kind of her savior. 7 years later, she was getting her Master's degree, going to work for the FBI, and as she's about to graduate, she figure's he'll propose, but instead he dumps her and starts dating a broke down looking version of herself whose life is in shambles, all the rest. He needed a needy woman to make himself feel good.