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How or when did you know your family wasn't complete?
Just curious.
DH and I have been talking about the idea of another baby in the next year or two... I just can't imagine myself being pregnant again anytime soon. Everything is still too fresh in my mind. I go back and forth with wanting another. So does DH. So many factors to think about.
When did you know for sure you wanted to have another baby?
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Re: How or when did you know your family wasn't complete?
For us it was never a question of "if" but a question of "when." We knew we didn't want our first child to be an only child. We both believe too wholly in the benefits and delights of siblings.
I will say that even though we knew we wanted our kids close in age, there was NOWAYINHELL I was ready to think about doing it all again at 6 months. Not even 9 months, which is when we originally agreed to start talking about it again. And DD was a super easy baby. It wasn't until 11 months that I was, seemingly overnight, ready to do it all again. So give yourself some time. Things can change quickly, and it is a rare, rare woman indeed who is ready to go again (or even talk about going again) with a six-month-old.
When our first was 18 months old and started being so possessive of her toys and her parents we decided that was a good time to have another baby so she had to share with someone and would have someone to share her life with!
It also took that long ofr DH to convince me that I wanted or could be pregnant again!
Like the rssn family, we're in more of the "when" instead of the "if" category. At where you are right now, the 6ish month phase, I was still in HELL (for a lot of reasons). I was only JUST starting to see the light again. I had a difficult baby, though, and not everyone has that hard of a time...but realistically you aren't even really healed (body, mind, or soul) 100% IMO until at least a year.
I see little ones now and I do get a strong pang of baby fever, which I NEVER had even when we were TTC Annabelle. So I do think we want another one someday. But we are giving ourselves until Annabelle is around 3yo before we even start thinking about it. Originally we said we'd discuss again when she turned 2, but that's not too long from now (
) and although I think it'd be awesome if we ended up pg by some huge fluke, I don't think I want to go through it again anytime soon. So I guess the fact that the idea of being pg again doesn't scare the ever loving sh!t out of me means that we're not complete yet. 
And maybe this isn't a good reason to have another, but for me, i want to prove to myself that I can do it better next time. I WANT to experience it all again, knowing what I know now, so that I can enjoy some of the things I didn't/couldn't enjoy the first time around. I'm so much healthier now, and I want to have the experience of feeling more confident and less paranoid so that I can cherish those early months, which I didn't get to do with Annabelle.
From before we had Ben, we knew that we wanted two children. I worried when he was about two whether having another child was something I wanted to do. Pregnancy is a sh!tton of work for me and I wasn't sure I wanted to go through it all again.
But I could not shake this feeling that I would regret not having a 2nd child. Now we have Molly.
Two children feels absolutely right for us. On occasion I get a twinge about having a third (not right now, mind you, but the idea of it.) I had pre-e with Molly and that experience was major Le Suck. I would be at risk for it again with any future pregnancies and I'd really like to avoid that experience. I think we're 98% sure that two kids is the right number for us.
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Like rssn, we've always known we want more kids. But until recently, the thought of having another one scared me to death. I had a hard time being pregnant and have not been ready to give up my body again for another 2+ years (pregnancy & nursing).
I know I'm getting to the point where I'm ready now because I feel like something is missing - I want will to have a sibling. I want to have another baby. I just feel like we're not a real family yet. We're still going to wait awhile longer to start trying because neither one of us is ready to jump in with both feet just yet, but we know we're not done.
If you're still feeling not ready, why not let yourself have 6 months or a year to not even think about it and then reevaluate when that time comes. A is still tiny and I know when Will was her age it was hard for me to imagine making it through a day with two littles
We are in the "when" category, too. We both have always wanted more than one because we wanted our children to siblings to grow up with.
Originally, we had talked about trying for #2 a couple years after our first, but that has changed. We want them closer in age, but we are split between when we want to start again. DH is going to be 32 next month and doesn't want to be the old dad. He would like to start trying this summer, but I'm just not ready. I want to enjoy our family of three a little longer. So we have agreed to talk about it this fall when DS is 9-12 months old. We are still undecided about having a third child, so we'll discuss that more when we get to that point.
exactly this. dh and i are 100% positive we want another one -- and more than likely 2 more (we'll visit that topic after we have a second). we were originally planning on waiting until dh finished his program to have another one but both dh and i are ready to have another one now and are hoping to have another one a few mos before dh finishes school. it just feels like the right time for us and we wanted about a 3-year age gap between children, so that was our starting point.
also i was not even ready to even consider having another baby until L was about a year old. i still felt like he was a baby and i wasn't quite ready to start that all over so soon. but, what works for one family, may not work with another. many parents prefer to have their children closer in age for a variety of reasons. you just have to assess what you guys will be able to handle and what your dd's needs are + how that will change when you have another one.
GL with your decision.
We've always been in the "when" category, too. DH & I are both only children and the thought of our family tree being more like a stick & less like a tree makes me really sad. That being said - there is no way in hell we could have another kid right now. Financially is just really isn't in the cards. We're hoping to get some finance stuff sorted out sooner rather than later so we can start TTC, but I told DH long ago that if we aren't PG by the time DD is 4 then we are d.o.n.e.
We were in the "if" and "probably not" catagories before DD, mostly for financial reasons.
Since DD, we are in the "when" catagory. He decided the day she was born he wanted another, life allowing. I would have another one right now, if I didn't think DH would kill me or die of a heart attach over money issues. So, our when is still undecided, but basically ... as soon as I can talk DH into it
When Jakob was 5, almost 6 years old, I really thought I was done. I had a kid who could get himself some cereal on Saturday mornings and let me sleep in. Why would I want a baby? And he had just started kinder, we had a huge break in daycare expenses. Add a newborn? You must be crazy.
Then my cousin got pregnant and I got baby fever. Go figure. Then DH admitted that he wanted a baby, too. He had never done the baby thing, we got together when Jakob was 4.
So we went ahead and got pregnant. Honestly, neither of us expected to get pregnant a mere two weeks after stopping bcp. I thought it would be months and months. It really was bad timing for us. We had just gotten married, just moved out of state, we both had really crappy jobs and we were barely paying our bills. The year I was pregnant was the worst year of our marriage, and Layna's first year was almost as bad. We just weren't ready.
But it all worked out. And I'm never doing that again. We're done
Yeah, when I found out I was pg with Nove when Ocho was a little over 6 months, I did hyperventilate. :-p
We always knew we wanted two. And we knew we wanted them close in age, so we weren't really careful TTA after Ocho was born (obviously, lol). We were actually planning to start TTC when Ocho was about 15 months (my sister and I are 20 months apart and really close). Our schedule just moved up a few months.
Honestly, judge me if you will, I think it's a good thing it happened the way it did, because I'm almost afraid I would've been too scared to "pull the trigger," so to speak, later. I think I would've never found the "right" time for #2. Also, we wanted both kids close together, so that J can make a big career move (if he still wants to) once they start school. Right now, he's home with them during the days, so we don't have daycare expenses and so he can spend time with them, too.
We also wanted them close together to knock out the baby stuff pretty much at the same time. When I finally pack my pump away, that's it, no breaking it back out in a few years. And we could reuse all of our baby gear and clothes, without worrying about it expiring (carseats) or storing it, etc. And, they're on a pretty similar schedule, so it's easier to plan outings and trips. They play with similar toys, nap around the same times, etc. They'll be big enough so we can start travelling again sooner than later. These are just our personal opinions though. It might not line up with others' lifestyles or plans.