Not sure what to do

holly321

I don't think I have ppd, I think it is more like post traumatic stress syndrome.  I had a bad c-section.  The spinal didn't work, so I felt them cutting me open, then I had to have ga, so I didn't get to experience my baby being born.  It has been 2.5 weeks and I still cry about it all the time.  I am glad the baby is here, but I still wish I was pregnant, and I think it has a lot to do with not getting to experience the pregnancy ending. 

And on top of everything, I just found out we open the hospital almost $4,000!

jbd1020

I'm having a similar experience. I had a semi-working epidural that I was able to endure during my c/s, but I was in severe pain and was heavily medicated with IV narcotics. So on the positive side, I do remember my baby's birth, but I also remember the pain and how scared I was as I hemorrhaged in the OR. Plus I got a fever after being discharged, and only had 2 days at home with my baby before being readmitted to the hospital for IV antibiotics. Luckily, she is able to be here with me but I am crying a lot. Even though she is here with me, I know a lot of it has to do with feeling like I'm missing out on her first week or so of life. I have felt so sick for several days that I haven't been able to devote as much attention to her as I would like and I feel like a bad mom. This just isn't how I envisioned my first week as a mother. I'm sorry I don't have any advice for you. Just wanted you to know you're not alone.

alamo10

Wow that sounds awful. I also had a C-Section and I could not imagine feeling everything. Sorry to hear about this but things get better! I also miss being pregnant. I had my LO at 8 months and even though I hear the last month sucks, I still would have liked to experience it. Hope you feel better soon!

LyssaPie

Check out ican-online.org and see if you can find a chapter in your area.  It usually helps when you can find a support group and know there are others out there who have had a similar experience to yours.

Although my C-section itself wasn't necessarily "traumatic" (although my LO was not breathing/had to be resuscitated at birth,) I still have mixed feelings about the experience (not getting the birth I wanted/feeling like I missed out on the first moments with my son/etc.)  The feelings are the strongest right after the birth for a couple weeks because of all the hormones, plus trying to adjust to a newborn, etc.  Sometimes you don't feel like you can fully process your birth experience and it is hard to come to terms with.  

For me I am having more problems w/ PPD/PPA, and I just had to get help because I know I'm not being the BEST that I can be for my son.  My Dr prescribed Zoloft for me today.  If you feel like you're not getting any better, then it might be good to find a therapist/psychologist/psychiatrist and maybe they can help you.

Hope it gets better for you. 

holly321

thanks for the replies.  I called my ob today.  He said he doesn't want to put me on meds yet, but wants me to call him in a few days and see if I am doing any better.