so many gender dissappointment posts

rab41380

I know I noticed that this AM too!  I dont understand why they are not happy with knowing they have a healthy baby.  I know with my U/S I just wanted to see 10 fingers and toes!

Yellow_Daisy

I really don't get gender disappointment when you are lucky enough to be having a baby. 

To me disappointment is:

Spending 6 birthdays, mother's day, father's day, Christmases, thanksgivings without the child you pray for every day.

Spending 10k,20k,30k and much more and not having the child you desperately want and can't have.

Finding out you can never have your husband's child due to a chromosomal defect.

The agony of watching your husband sob because he feels like he let you down by not being able to give you the family you both want.

I could go on and on about disappointment, but the one thing I would never ever be disappointed about is whether my child is a boy or girl because at the end of the day I can't even express how lucky we feel to be having a baby at all.   I tend to think that people who are disappointed about their baby's gender have never experienced real disappointment and someday when they do they will realize that they had no idea what disappointment was.

elynds

I can understand being disappointed for a minute or two if you already had several kids all the same sex and found out that #3, 4 or whatever was the same, but after that moment it's time to move on.

I feel bad for the kids born into these families - how are they going to react when their kids actually do something to legitimately disappoint them?  These days given that women are given the same opportunities as men (for the most part), neither has a clear advantage.  Either one can play sports.  Either one can go to college.  Either one can be successful.  There are so many more things than sex that make up a person's life and personality so it surprises me that so many people can't look past that.

G+J=BabyK

I don't get what women or the men get so upset about.  It makes no sense to me!  I am happy that we could get pregnant (took us 3+ years for #1) and carry the baby (when so many women cannot).  These people need to get over themselves and just be happy that they can have a baby!  grrrrrrrrrrrrrrr.......

 If you want to be that specific on what you have, then you need to adopt!

ChristinaMT4

For the most part I agree with the sentiment that people should be happy with a healthy baby. I know that I am. However, having 4 boys I have definitely felt some external pressure that probably could have led me to feeling like I have failed in some way to have the "perfect" family (However, I do think my family is perfect the way it is).

Let's face it, most people view having at least one of each as being the ideal.  Add in that some people have expectations placed on them by spouses or family members, and I imagine that the pressure would be overwhelming and lead to some pretty intense disappointment and pain. In cases such as those, I can't help but be sympathetic. I've been extremely fortunate in that most of my friends and family, and of course my husband, are genuinely excited about this baby. Not everyone has that.

I guess what I'm trying to get at, is that there are a lot of factors that can lead to feeling disappointed and I don't feel comfortable judging people who do have those feelings.  Now there are other people who have more shallow reasons for wanting one or the other, and they should definitely grow up and be more grateful. But someone who is sobbing their eyes out or feeling depressed probably has more serious issues and are likely in need of some support and understanding to get through it.

MrsGo4Hockeychick

Christina, I agree to an extent. Society is a huge cause of this. 

However, almost all of the gender disappointment posts have been made by people having number 1. They aren't cases of grandma making comments about wanting a girl after 3 boys.  

ChristinaMT4

MrsGo4Hockeychick:

Christina, I agree to an extent. Society is a huge cause of this. 

However, almost all of the gender disappointment posts have been made by people having number 1. They aren't cases of grandma making comments about wanting a girl after 3 boys.  

Oh, okay. I haven't seen those. Hopefully once the baby is placed in their arms they'll get over it. I know when I had my first I had no idea how strong the bond and love I would feel would be. But when I saw him it was the most amazing moment of my life. I don't know how anyone could feel disappointed once they see their little one.

B-Bee10

You hit the nail on the head. I am so tired of people telling me what gender they hope and pray it will be. I just want the baby to be healthy.  I am glad I won?t be finding out the gender until after 22 weeks. Although I have not even posted that I am pregnant to any social accounts due to these same people posting their gender guesses as fact, and who wants to have to explain that kind of confusion to those who are just checking on updates. Thank you Mrs. Hodge, until today I felt very alone in this situation.