Help- Modifications?

kirbear

Hi Ladies,

Hope you are all having a nice Friday night.  I have a few questions and was hoping for some insight before I call my lawyer.

Some background: XH is entitled to approx 90hrs per month with dd.  He has never taken that much- but used to take about 50 or 60.  That is while he had his last girlfriend (live in) who was forcing him to do so just to spite me- she was nuts! And he has admitted to letting x-gf run his relationship with dd.  He broke up with her almost 2 years ago and since then he has not taken dd more than 2 hours per week with the exception of a 12 hour overnight visit once every two months for a a while.  He no longer takes overnights as dd got upset and he didn't want to work through it.  So, he takes a total of 7-8 hours per month visitation.

I'd like to modify court order to reflect the current schedule. I am all for dd having time with him- and believe me I have so much documentation of all of the attempts- but dd needs stability.  All kids need stability, but my dd is dx with some issues that make stability even more key for her.  We have worked with a child psych for 2+years and he refuses to participate to help dd.  I do not want dd to be a yo-yo and when a girlfriend tells him to start taking dd more or having sleepovers- he does to impress the girl and it is harmful to dd.  He will also do this everyone few months to "prove a point" and its not fair to dd.  We have documented setbacks from when he comes around "more" for a month or so here and there and then goes back to his old ways.  Do you think I'd have luck modifying it to reflect the amount of time he really takes?  Its not like it's only been a month or so that he skipped time- it's been 2 years of him only taking this limited time. 2 out of the 3 years we've had the co.  

Also, I have another question.  XH has screwed up the last 4 visits with dd.  He is either significantly late (1hour for a 2 hr visit) or is showing up on the wrong days and to the wrong places- between home (lot), daycare, and preschool. Mind you the schedule has been the same forever!  But it is very disruptive to dd, her caretakers, and me (I start getting phone calls at work that she hasn't been picked up or he starts blowing up my phone as to where we are. I was even interrupting with an "emergency" during parent conferences at school)  It's disruptive to her as she isn't prepared and its disruptive to caretakers in that they are planning on her being gone by a certain time etc...or she isn't even there and he is showing up!  Last week his visit was scheduled for thursday (she'd be home with my mom). He showed up Wednesday to the sitters house (her day off) and then went to her pre-k- and took her on the wrong day- he forgot what day of the week it was!

Any tips on how to handle this? and legally the school has to release her to him, so can't follow the 45 min late and visit is forfeited rule.  

Sorry this is long, I am so ready to go back to court. I am just afraid of the turmoil it could cause.  But I know I can't let that stand in my way of doing what is best for dd.  Do I have a chance of changing things legally?

Thanks again  

cmanmom

Would he agree to changing it?  If so, you just need to file a modification which here in WA costs $56 and have both of you sign it and you are good to go.  IF not, then it's going to be super hard and costly unfortunately.

 Do you have a lawyer?  Good documentation?  Start there if so.

GL