I am a BIT OVERIT!

Floridamom224

I am completely frustrated today.  it is kind of a sticky sitch, and I hope I can explain it here with some clarity.

My husband is a supervisor with the Guardian Ad Litem Program.  For those of you who don't have GAL's in your state, you may have CASA's who are the same thing.  Anyways, since we are licensed and taking foster children in our county (which is also the county he works in) we have to be careful which foster children we take so that it is not a conflict of interest.  Basically, what his office says is that if the child is in our care, they will get off the case, let him use his discretion on how to proceed and then post TPR they can reappoint back on the case.  Unfortunately, in some instances, the abuse is way to egregious and there is no way a GAL cannot be on the case.  In these cases, we cannot take the child into our home.  So, when placements calls us with a possible placement, my husband pulls it up on the system they use at his office, to see if it is an appropriate case to take.

For example, earlier this week they asked us to take a 16 month old.  We did, and H thought it was ok.  Come to find out, it is a seriously egregious shaken baby case with the child's sibling now being medically needy, and there is just no way they can not be on the case.  So, we had to ask for him to be moved from our home.  So, we have been taking a lot of short term placements, of kids we KNOW will be moved to another home (i.e. trying to get sibs placed together etc), or respite placements.  We have also taken some emergency overnight kids that they found another home for the next day, but could not find anyone late at night.

Well, this has really taken a toll on me.  I feel like this way we will NEVER find our forever child.  Today, placements called and said that they had a sibling group and couldnt find placement for all of them.  Would we take one in the interim?  SURE!!!!  I always think that it would be great to love on the child until they are moved, but also who knows what will really happen in the long run?  Maybe my luck will go my way and for some reason they will end up ours.

Well, when H heard I said yes, he said NO!  We could not take him!  The family is very familiar to him, and this would be a huge conflict of interest.  I didnt realize this when they called and said ok because he had said it was ok to take short term.  So, now he is only staying for the weekend and I am so pissed!  I am SO tired of hearing, "no, it is a conflict of interest."

I could cry.  There is another child that H knows about through his office that's parents rights have already been terminated and will be going into foster care because the elderly grandmother can no longer take care of him.  The GAL and the CM on the case both want him to come to us, so they are going to request our home when he does come into care in the next week or two when placement is modified.  So, that could very possibly work out and he would be adoptable.  BUT, I told H that if that DOES NOT pan out, I am seriously wanting to do domestic adoption and just keep our foster license for emergency cases because I am tired of hearing the conflict of interest story!!!!

I know this is long, and I owe you for listening!!!  This all just transpired this afternoon, and I am just at my wits end.  Thanks for listening!!!!

wille2b

aww, im sorry that you have to go through that! i would be upset as well! do you know when you would maybe hear about this other placement?

as far as domestic adoption, have you looked into it at all or would it be brand new?

lilmufish

I am somewhat in a similar situation. We are foster parents, and I'm a counselor who works with foster children. My agency went over board and gave us an ultimatum, of foster license or counsel foster children, not both. They later came back and said okay just x y and z kiddos. So...with that said, I feel your pain. Its frustrating that you can't just take every kiddo and have to be picky. I agree, it's obnoxious and draining....i'm totally in your same boat.  I wish there was something else I could say except I understand...

Could you be licensed through another county?

HUGS, let me know if you ever need to vent...

come*on*baby

I also was going to suggest maybe another county that way it's not a way for a conflict of interest. And definitely taking more long-term placements is definitely going to help you towards your forever child.

 

Also, CASA and GAL are actually quite different. GAL's are practicing lawyers and CASA workers are volunteers that are there strictly for the best interest of the child and only take one case at a time. In Texas, a child/children typically get both a CASA worker and a GAL.  

Nature Lover

Come on baby - it must depend on the state.  What you describe is not the case in Florida.  I am a GAL and I am not a practicing attorney - I am a court appointed special advocate, which is what CASA stands for its jsut that here the program isn't called CASA its called GAL.

 I experienced this same "conflict of interest" schpiel.  I was trying to get licensed as a foster parent (still wiating for the class to be offered and by the time it is and I finish it will be 1 year) but while waiting I decded to take the GAL class to be certified. Part way through DCF told me I could not do both b/c it was a conflict of interest -even if I was not fostering the child for whom I was a GAL (of course that would be a conflict). So I will have to drop the GAL if/when I become a foster parent.

Sorry you are going through this. I hope it gets worked out. I know you must be so ready for your forever baby and the short term placements can't be easy. Hang in there.

Floridamom224

Nature Lover:

Come on baby - it must depend on the state.  What you describe is not the case in Florida.  I am a GAL and I am not a practicing attorney - I am a court appointed special advocate, which is what CASA stands for its jsut that here the program isn't called CASA its called GAL.

 I experienced this same "conflict of interest" schpiel.  I was trying to get licensed as a foster parent (still wiating for the class to be offered and by the time it is and I finish it will be 1 year) but while waiting I decded to take the GAL class to be certified. Part way through DCF told me I could not do both b/c it was a conflict of interest -even if I was not fostering the child for whom I was a GAL (of course that would be a conflict). So I will have to drop the GAL if/when I become a foster parent.

Aw, thanks for being a GAL!  What my husband and all of you do is sooo selfless and you deserve a big thanks.  I know it cant be easy!  With that said, are exactly right.  The CASA program is what FL uses or their training (as you know) of GAL's.  In some states, GAL's are attorneys, in other states (such as FL) you dont have to be.  It totally just depends on the state. 

Anyways, we have tried getting licensed through 3 different counties before we went ahead for the relicensing here.  Two of the counties never called back and one (that was a bit far) did look into it, but just decided in the long run it would be easier not to license us due to the distance.  So, here we are.

Sorry you are going through this. I hope it gets worked out. I know you must be so ready for your forever baby and the short term placements can't be easy. Hang in there.

Floridamom224

wille2b:

aww, im sorry that you have to go through that! i would be upset as well! do you know when you would maybe hear about this other placement?

as far as domestic adoption, have you looked into it at all or would it be brand new?

We did hear a little bit more about that placement tonight.  We spoke to our relicensing counselor's supervisor, as I guess shewas approached by the case manager's supervisor.  The CMS said she wanted him placed with us as an adoptive placement.  The agency licensing supervisor called us to talk through everything and how we needed to be cautioned thatit looks like they are swaying this towards us.  Well, duh.  They are.  it is like networking.  They finalized our sons adoption and remembered we wanted to adopt again.  It just happened that the GAL assigned to the case that knows my husband and our sitch well, first broght it to the CM's attention.  So, hopefully it will be a go.  They are hoping to place him with us within a couple of weeks

We did look into DA.  We had an agency all picked out and then decided to go the foster route again.

Floridamom224

wille2b:

aww, im sorry that you have to go through that! i would be upset as well! do you know when you would maybe hear about this other placement?

as far as domestic adoption, have you looked into it at all or would it be brand new?

OMG your sitch IS ours!  I am always here too if u need to vent.  Thanks ;-)

GulfCoaster

come*on*baby:

Also, CASA and GAL are actually quite different. GAL's are practicing lawyers and CASA workers are volunteers that are there strictly for the best interest of the child and only take one case at a time. In Texas, a child/children typically get both a CASA worker and a GAL.  

Some states have attorney-GALs, and some states use lay GALs (either as a supplement or a substitute for attorney-GALs). 

And some states don't have GALs at all but rather have traditional attorneys for the children -- i.e., the attorney represents the child's wishes, just as the attorney would advocate the wishes of an adult client.

mysticl

GulfCoaster:

come*on*baby:

Also, CASA and GAL are actually quite different. GAL's are practicing lawyers and CASA workers are volunteers that are there strictly for the best interest of the child and only take one case at a time. In Texas, a child/children typically get both a CASA worker and a GAL.  

Some states have attorney-GALs, and some states use lay GALs (either as a supplement or a substitute for attorney-GALs). 

And some states don't have GALs at all but rather have traditional attorneys for the children -- i.e., the attorney represents the child's wishes, just as the attorney would advocate the wishes of an adult client.

Here in VA the GAL is the lawyer representing the child's interests in regards to being in foster care (if the child needs a criminal defense another lawyer is assigned for that purpose).  They are appointed by the court and basically the judge just appoints what ever lawyer happens to be in the courtroom and not assigned to that particular case.  I knew a lawyer who was the GAL for one case and represented the biological parent in another case.  Both cases involved the same Department of Human Services.  

 

ETA: The GAL does not advocate for the child's wishes but rather for what is in the best interest of the child.