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Falling to pieces

Oh girls. I am turning into a puddle. I was holding up pretty well until about an hour ago and now I am a blubbering mess. All of the guilt is coming back and I feel so incredibly empty. I can't get out any words, but I could use some major love right now.
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Re: Falling to pieces

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    sending you lots of love, hugs and shoulders to cry on.  whatever you need. thinking about you hon. 

    ~Lauren~
    **SAIF always welcome.**
    After 2+ years, 3 losses, 3 surgeries, 2 IVFs and 1 FET our little girl is here.
    Lilypie First Birthday tickers
    my read shelf:
    Lauren (babystinkbreath)'s book recommendations, favorite quotes, book clubs, book trivia, book lists (read shelf)
    Read in 2011: 56/55
    Read in 2012: 31/30
    Read in 2013: 1/25
    Follow Me on Pinterest

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    Sending huge (((hugs))), I am so sorry hun.
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    ((( BIG HUGS))) Sending lots of love and T&P your way!!!
    Dx Anovulatory PCOS Clomid,Ovidrel,TI=BFN IUI#1-#3 Femara,Ovidrel=BFN IUI#4-Gonal F,Ovidrel=BFN IUI#5-Gonal F,Ovidrel= BFP!! Beta #1 11dpIUI=34, Beta #2=131,first u/s 3/14=1 perfect bug with a heartbeat! Anderson Phillip, Born 11/2/11 7lbs 10oz 21in. Image and video hosting by TinyPic Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker
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    Big big bear hugs !!!

    xo

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    Sending you lots of love and hugs hun.
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    Huge hugs!
    IVF #3 = Feb 2012
    beta#1 3/21 (14dp3dt)=413, beta#2 3/23 (16dp3dt)=785, u/s 4/11
    EDD 11/25/12
    **SAIFW** Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker
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    L-  I'm thinking of you and sending lots of hugs your way.  Left Hug
    After 4.5 years our miracle IVF baby is here!
    Born 7/30/13
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    Lots of hugs, thoughts, and love coming your way!  We are here for you sweetie!!
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    Thanks, Ladies. I really couldn't get through all of this without you. ((hugs))
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    Oh sweetie, I am so sorry!! Sending massive amounts of love. Big ((hugs))
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    Love and hugs coming your way, dearie.
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    Nothin' but love coming your way, sweetie.  I wish there was something I could do to make it easier.  ((hugs))

    image
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    Huge hugs hon. I have been thinking about you. Lots of love and ppv. I hope you can get through the next few days.
    PAIF and SAIF Always Welcome!
    TTC since 2007
    6 IUIs, 3 IVFs, and 2 m/c :< PCOS, Blood Clotting Disorder & MFI
    IVF #2 Aug 2011 is a BFN:<
    IVF #3 March 2012 is a BFN
    Not sure what to do now. Sad and lost.
    Lilypie Angel and Memorial tickers Lilypie Angel and Memorial tickers
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    Huge (((HUGS))). Lots of T&P coming your way. You are so strong!!!
    TTC #1 since 7/09
    Dx: LPD, underdeveloped follicles, blocked left tube
    3 C/P, 1 BO, 1 Ectopic
    IVF#1=BFN (3/11)
    FET#1=BFP
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    Lots of love and hugs to you! God has a plan for all of us! I'm still holding on to that. Hope you will too!
    Diagnosis: MFI and Egg Quality Issues IVF#1-October-BFN ER-16 eggs, 8 mature, 7 fertilized, 2transferred and no frozen IVF#2- March-Beta 3/19 ER- 12 eggs, 8 mature, 7 fertilized, 2 transferred and 1 frozen-BFN. IVF#3 July ER-19 eggs, 13 mature, 10 fertilized...waiting til Day 5 to PGD. PGD results-4 out of 5 embryos are normal and will be banked. IVF#4 Sept 11' 22 eggs, 16 mature, 15 fertilized...waiting til Day 5 to PGD. Total normal embryos banked, quality varies: FET-Nov 11'-BFP Beta #1: 156, Beta #2: 489 First u/s revealed TWINS!! 2nd u/s= 2 beautiful heartbeats! 12/17 Lost one of the twins :(BabyFruit Ticker
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    I meant what I said, hun, text me or call me whenever you need to talk, vent, cry, whatever. I'm here for you, no matter when.

    (((hugs)))

     

    TTC #1 since June 2008 *SAIFW*

    TI, IUIs, IVF = c/ps and BFNs

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    (((huge hugs)))
    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker
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    I am sending tons of hope and hugs your way!  I am so sorry that you are going through a rough patch, but just know that your are a strong woman and we are all here for you!
    imageimageimage

    TTC since March 2009 // Me and DH - 28
    Testing Summer/Fall 2010 - Unexplained IF
    IUIs #1-4 ~ Clomid/Ovidrel/TI/IUI ~ all BFNs
    IUI #5 ~ Femara/Ovidrel/TI/IUI ~ BFN
    IUIs #6-9 ~ Research Study Meds/Pregnyl/TI/IUI ~ all BFNs
    IVF Consultation, More Testing
    Diagnostic Cycle ~ Mucinex/Progesterone/TI ~ BFN
    IVF #1 ~ Menopur/Bravelle/Ganirelix/Novarel/Progesterone/Lupron
    7R, 6F // 2 transferred // 3 frosties ~ BFN
    FET #1 ~ Estrace/PIO/Lupron
    3 thawed // 2 transferred // 1 lost // no more frosties ~ BFP!!
    Beta #1 - 456 // Beta #2 - 1176 // Beta #3 - 2933 // Beta #4 - 6753
    EDD: May 16, 2013
    Threatened MC at 6w2d
    Bedrest for SCH // 6w2d through 10w1d
    Elevated TSH and Lazy Thyroid DX @ 10w - Started Synthroid
    Finally released from RE at 13w
    Charles Everett ~ Born 5/20/2013

    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker


    ~~ My IF Blog ~~ 

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    Big hugs! Sending lots of love your way.
    After 3 years of infertility we were blessed with twin girls through private infant adoption.
    Forever our's October 17th 2012
    Lilypie Second Birthday tickers
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    ((HUGS))
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    Huge hugs.  Left Hug  We are always here for you.
    TTC #1 since October 2008. Dealing with MFI.
    IVF #1 w ICSI in July 2010 = BFN
    IVF #2.1 in Oct 2010 converted to IUI = BFN
    IVF #2.2 w ICSI in Dec 2010 = BFN
    Met with new RE in new city on 1/31/11.
    IVF #3 w ICSI in April 2011. HPT on 5/9 = BFP!
    Beta #1 on 5/10 (10dp5dt) = 99.4. Beta #2 on 5/12 = 284. First u/s on 5/26. = Fraternal TWINS!
    Twin boys born & lost on 8/16/11 at 18w1d due to PPROM & preterm labor.
    IVF #4.1 in Jan 2012 converted to IUI on 1/7/12 = BFN
    IVF #4.2 w ICSI in Feb 2012. Lupron on 2/10. Stims on 2/18. ER on 2/29- 7R,6F
    ET scheduled for 3/5/12- nothing to transfer :(
    Dh seeing new MFI uro & Dh starting meds- June 2012.
    IVF #5 in Dec 2012 = BFFN.
    IVF #6 planned for Spring 2013. Praying for our take home baby/ies.
    **P/SAIF and P/SAL always welcome!**

    Lilypie Angel and Memorial tickers
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    Sorry you're going through this.  ((HUGS))  
    PCOS, Hypothyroidism, a ton of IVF... finally it worked => a rough pregnancy => my sweet, sweet son born at 29 weeks 1 day Lilypie Premature Baby tickers
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    Sending all my love your way. *hug*
    Lilypie Waiting to Adopt tickers
    3 IUI's, 2 IVF's , 1 FET , 1 IVF w/ Gestational Carrier, and 1 FET using adopted embryo's = ALL BFNs
    We are adopting!

    SAIF/PAIF IS ALWAYS WELCOMED TO POST IN MY POSTS!!!
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    I'm so sorry.  I wish there was something I could say or do to make this less painful.  Sending big hugs and cyber shoulder to cry on.
    TTC since 3-08 IVF # 1 Dec 2011 BFP DD born at 31 weeks 6-24-12

    FET #1 Dec 2013 BFN

    FET # 2 Feb 2014 BFN

    No more frosties

    IVF #2. September 2014

    PGD yielded 2 perfect 5d blasts

    SET November 9, 2014
    Nov 23, 2014. Another BFN

    Not sure where to go from here.

    image

    Lilypie Premature Baby tickers
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    Sending you some super duper love & hugs!!!
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    I'm so sorry.  Thinking of you, your DH, & Sophia Marie.

    ((Hugs))  

    Lilypie Second Birthday tickers
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    Sending you so much love, hun!!!  {{{Loving Hugs}}}
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    koynkoyn member
    I am sending you huge hugs hun.  I have no words but just know we are all here for you. 
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    Lots of hugs and love for you! I am so sorry, sweetie.
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    Sending you tons of love and hugs and everything you need right now!!! ((Super Huge Hugs))
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    Tons and tons of great big ((hugs)) coming at you!! 
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    I will be thinking of you over these next days and truly wish you peace during such a difficult time.
    TTC with DOR, low morphology, fertilization issues
    IVF#1 Oct 2009 (CCRM) - BFN
    IVF#2 March 2010 - Poor response/cancelled
    DE IVF#1 Aug 2010 - BFN
    DE IVF#2 Dec 2010 - Transferred 1, 2 frozen - BFP!
    TTC#2 FET Jan 2013 - Transferred 1 - BFP!

    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker
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    Sending you lots of love, hugs and T&P.

    Thinking of you.

    TTC #2 since June '08

    ~*DD 10.21.07*~

    dx unexplained

    IUI #1-4 BFN

    IVF#1 June 2011 BFN

    IVF#2 Dec 2011

    Beta#1 12/21 : 812 Beta#2 12/23 : 1634

    EDD 8/25

    *PAIFW/SAIFW*

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    I know there's really nothing I can say to take the pain away, but please know that I am thinking of you and sending lots of love and a ginormous (((hug)))
    SAIFW
    TTC since 2008 dx PCOS & MFI
    Clomid/Femara no "O"
    IVF #1 BFN
    FET #1 cancelled for biopsy
    FET #1.2 c/p, July 2012 c/p
    IUI #1 & 1.2 canceled
    IVF #2 ER 12/1, Freeze all due to OHSS
    FET #2.1 cancelled due to DVT risk, FET #2.2 Jan 2013
    my blog
    image
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    I just want to wrap you up in a GIANT ((hug)).  I am so sorry you are going through this.  Sending you all the good thoughts I have.  We're here for you during this tough time.
    *P/SAIFW* TTC since 1/08 Clomid, 2 IUIs, 4 IVFs, FET 7 losses Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker
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    BIG (((HUGS))) I am thinking of you!! xoxoxoxo


     
    Dx: PCOS, Anovulatory, Amenorrhea 2006
    TTC: Sept 2008
    IVF#1 Cancelled due to breast biopsy.05/01/20

    IVF#1.2- 9/2010 - Cancelled Oversurpressed

    IVF#2 Microdose Lupron 10/2010 Beta 11/09=BFN
    IVF#3 2/2011 - 2 blasts(2/25) Beta 03/11 =BFN
    IVF#4 Lupron 01/02 =2 blasts, beta's 1-4 198,234,398,3100!!BFP
    FET 3/2014 2 blasts BETA 3/20=BFP TWINS EDD 11/27 TEAM PINK!!!                   
    image

     


     

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    You're approaching a difficult day.  You're allowed to cry and I think you'll feel a tad better if you can cry out some of the emotions.  I cry for you and Sophia too. Your loss is tragic. 

    Why do you feel guilty though?  There is no need for that.  You did everything right. 

     (((HUGS)))


    TTC Since 10/08 4 IUIs=BFNx4
    IVF#1=BFP!! Twins!!
    Bradley and Billy born and lost on 2/2/11 at 19w2d due to pPROM/PTL. I miss you, little angels.
    IVF#2=BFN
    IVF#3=c/p IVF#4=Empty Follicle Syndrome; 1 mature, fertilized, & made it to blast. 5dt of "the lone ranger" on 9/6. Please stick, little one! Image and video hosting by TinyPic Lilypie First Birthday tickers
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    Oh sweetie!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  Hang in there.  It is a major accomplishment for not ending up in a padded cell for what we are all going through.  Big Hugs!
    Our Blog - http://thedittemores.blogspot.com/
    Dx PCOS 2003/high fasting insulin/clotting issues DH Dx with low sperm count, motility and morphology. Varicocele repair (11/1/2010)
    2/2011 - Confirmed no improvement - On to Donor Sperm
    4 failed IUIs in 2010
    IUI#5 and 6- with DS, BFN
    Final IUI - Lucky #7! IUI with DS - 20.Jun.2011 - 21.5 mil motile! Not so lucky - BFFN and the end of our IF journey....
    Waiting for our family to be complete through Adoption - May 2012 - Hoping our baby finds us soon!
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    ((HUGS)) I wish this could be easier for you.  
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    Huge huge HUGS...I'm so sorry Sweets.
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