UO Thursday : take two

Erina1004 · March 2011

SnoopyLuv:
ZoeyMarie:

My UO: I think the fact the government can tell me how to take care of my child is bogus. To me it's very George Orwell & 1984.

Could you elaborate?

This. Is it something in particular?

SnoopyLuv · March 2011

J+MS:
mamaregan:
mainerocks:
mamaregan:

Maybe I'll be a *** stirrer for this but I think way too many women use the excuse that they have a "low milk supply" for not breastfeeding. I know there are plenty of moms who truly do have a low supply and I do not fault them at all. But, there are so many who use this as a cop out, I would respect them so much more for just saying "it was too much work," "I don't like the idea of it," or "I want to keep my perky boobs."

I have a friend from my moms group who truly had issues and still beats herself up every day for not being able to BF. I get what you are saying, but reading that would probably bring her to tears. I wish she would let go of the guilt.

And like I said, I don't judge those who tried, or those who chose not to try and admit it. I just get irritated who use low supply as an excuse for the fact that they just CHOSE not to or made no effort to bring up their supply.

I understand that BFing is not for everyone, but if it's not atleast have the backbone to admit it.

Why do you care?

I think what she's getting at is that it's annoying. It's akin to someone complaining that they can't lose weight as they shove dessert in their face. If you aren't doing anything to help it, don't complain. Of course you can't know someone's situation entirely but I know quite a few friends that have had "low supply" issues but gave bottles of formula left and right because they wanted to sleep and never pumped to make up for a missed feed. Don't complain to me if you didn't work hard. I think that's what she's getting at.

CherryStarburst · March 2011

J+MS:
mamaregan:
mainerocks:
mamaregan:

Maybe I'll be a *** stirrer for this but I think way too many women use the excuse that they have a "low milk supply" for not breastfeeding. I know there are plenty of moms who truly do have a low supply and I do not fault them at all. But, there are so many who use this as a cop out, I would respect them so much more for just saying "it was too much work," "I don't like the idea of it," or "I want to keep my perky boobs."

I have a friend from my moms group who truly had issues and still beats herself up every day for not being able to BF. I get what you are saying, but reading that would probably bring her to tears. I wish she would let go of the guilt.

And like I said, I don't judge those who tried, or those who chose not to try and admit it. I just get irritated who use low supply as an excuse for the fact that they just CHOSE not to or made no effort to bring up their supply.

I understand that BFing is not for everyone, but if it's not atleast have the backbone to admit it.
Why do you care?

I've gotta wonder how you [mamareagan] know what their "real" reason is. The fact that you said you would respect them more for stating their real reason is laughable. If you judge them for not being able to BF for low supply (or just saying so) then you are most certainly going to judge them if they say they didn't like BFing or want to keep their perky boobs. FTR by heart breaks for the ladies who weren't able to BF because if low supply.

nadinethequeen01 · March 2011

CherryStarburst:
J+MS:
mamaregan:
mainerocks:
mamaregan:

Maybe I'll be a *** stirrer for this but I think way too many women use the excuse that they have a "low milk supply" for not breastfeeding. I know there are plenty of moms who truly do have a low supply and I do not fault them at all. But, there are so many who use this as a cop out, I would respect them so much more for just saying "it was too much work," "I don't like the idea of it," or "I want to keep my perky boobs."

I have a friend from my moms group who truly had issues and still beats herself up every day for not being able to BF. I get what you are saying, but reading that would probably bring her to tears. I wish she would let go of the guilt.

And like I said, I don't judge those who tried, or those who chose not to try and admit it. I just get irritated who use low supply as an excuse for the fact that they just CHOSE not to or made no effort to bring up their supply.

I understand that BFing is not for everyone, but if it's not atleast have the backbone to admit it.
Why do you care?
I've gotta wonder how you [mamareagan] know what their "real" reason is. The fact that you said you would respect them more for stating their real reason is laughable. If you judge them for not being able to BF for low supply (or just saying so) then you are most certainly going to judge them if they say they didn't like BFing or want to keep their perky boobs. FTR by heart breaks for the ladies who weren't able to BF because if low supply.

I agree. Just because some people don't explain their every move to TB like some people feel obligated to, doesn't mean they didn't try hard enough. Every one has their own reasons. No one is more in the wrong than the other.

Erina1004 · March 2011

nadinethequeen01:
CherryStarburst:
J+MS:
mamaregan:
mainerocks:
mamaregan:

Maybe I'll be a *** stirrer for this but I think way too many women use the excuse that they have a "low milk supply" for not breastfeeding. I know there are plenty of moms who truly do have a low supply and I do not fault them at all. But, there are so many who use this as a cop out, I would respect them so much more for just saying "it was too much work," "I don't like the idea of it," or "I want to keep my perky boobs."

I have a friend from my moms group who truly had issues and still beats herself up every day for not being able to BF. I get what you are saying, but reading that would probably bring her to tears. I wish she would let go of the guilt.

And like I said, I don't judge those who tried, or those who chose not to try and admit it. I just get irritated who use low supply as an excuse for the fact that they just CHOSE not to or made no effort to bring up their supply.

I understand that BFing is not for everyone, but if it's not atleast have the backbone to admit it.

Why do you care?
I've gotta wonder how you [mamareagan] know what their "real" reason is. The fact that you said you would respect them more for stating their real reason is laughable. If you judge them for not being able to BF for low supply (or just saying so) then you are most certainly going to judge them if they say they didn't like BFing or want to keep their perky boobs. FTR by heart breaks for the ladies who weren't able to BF because if low supply.

I agree. Just because some people don't explain their every move to TB like some people feel obligated to, doesn't mean they didn't try hard enough. Every one has their own reasons. No one is more in the wrong than the other.

Gah! This! On the 6-9 UO somebody said they thought anyone who didn't make their own baby food was lazy.

nikki368 · March 2011

Erina1004:
nadinethequeen01:
CherryStarburst:
J+MS:
mamaregan:
mainerocks:
mamaregan:

Maybe I'll be a *** stirrer for this but I think way too many women use the excuse that they have a "low milk supply" for not breastfeeding. I know there are plenty of moms who truly do have a low supply and I do not fault them at all. But, there are so many who use this as a cop out, I would respect them so much more for just saying "it was too much work," "I don't like the idea of it," or "I want to keep my perky boobs."

I have a friend from my moms group who truly had issues and still beats herself up every day for not being able to BF. I get what you are saying, but reading that would probably bring her to tears. I wish she would let go of the guilt.

And like I said, I don't judge those who tried, or those who chose not to try and admit it. I just get irritated who use low supply as an excuse for the fact that they just CHOSE not to or made no effort to bring up their supply.

I understand that BFing is not for everyone, but if it's not atleast have the backbone to admit it.

Why do you care?
I've gotta wonder how you [mamareagan] know what their "real" reason is. The fact that you said you would respect them more for stating their real reason is laughable. If you judge them for not being able to BF for low supply (or just saying so) then you are most certainly going to judge them if they say they didn't like BFing or want to keep their perky boobs. FTR by heart breaks for the ladies who weren't able to BF because if low supply.

I agree. Just because some people don't explain their every move to TB like some people feel obligated to, doesn't mean they didn't try hard enough. Every one has their own reasons. No one is more in the wrong than the other.

Gah! This! On the 6-9 UO somebody said they thought anyone who didn't make their own baby food was lazy.

I don't think she's calling anyone lazy, and she's not passing judgement on those who choose not to breastfeed. She's just saying if you don't want to breastfeed own the reason. There's no reason to blame it on a low supply if that's not the case. The same can be said for anyone who makes up an excuse. If you make a choice, you should own up to it.

Erina1004 · March 2011

nikki368:
Erina1004:
nadinethequeen01:
CherryStarburst:
J+MS:
mamaregan:
mainerocks:
mamaregan:

Maybe I'll be a *** stirrer for this but I think way too many women use the excuse that they have a "low milk supply" for not breastfeeding. I know there are plenty of moms who truly do have a low supply and I do not fault them at all. But, there are so many who use this as a cop out, I would respect them so much more for just saying "it was too much work," "I don't like the idea of it," or "I want to keep my perky boobs."

I have a friend from my moms group who truly had issues and still beats herself up every day for not being able to BF. I get what you are saying, but reading that would probably bring her to tears. I wish she would let go of the guilt.

And like I said, I don't judge those who tried, or those who chose not to try and admit it. I just get irritated who use low supply as an excuse for the fact that they just CHOSE not to or made no effort to bring up their supply.

I understand that BFing is not for everyone, but if it's not atleast have the backbone to admit it.

Why do you care?
I've gotta wonder how you [mamareagan] know what their "real" reason is. The fact that you said you would respect them more for stating their real reason is laughable. If you judge them for not being able to BF for low supply (or just saying so) then you are most certainly going to judge them if they say they didn't like BFing or want to keep their perky boobs. FTR by heart breaks for the ladies who weren't able to BF because if low supply.

I agree. Just because some people don't explain their every move to TB like some people feel obligated to, doesn't mean they didn't try hard enough. Every one has their own reasons. No one is more in the wrong than the other.

Gah! This! On the 6-9 UO somebody said they thought anyone who didn't make their own baby food was lazy.

I don't think she's calling anyone lazy, and she's not passing judgement on those who choose not to breastfeed. She's just saying if you don't want to breastfeed own the reason. There's no reason to blame it on a low supply if that's not the case. The same can be said for anyone who makes up an excuse. If you make a choice, you should own up to it.

I was referring to a UO on the 6-9 board when I used the word lazy. To repeat my UO above, I just don't get why anyone has to justify how they choose to feed their baby.

nikki368 · March 2011

Erina1004:
nikki368:
Erina1004:
nadinethequeen01:
CherryStarburst:
J+MS:
mamaregan:
mainerocks:
mamaregan:

Maybe I'll be a *** stirrer for this but I think way too many women use the excuse that they have a "low milk supply" for not breastfeeding. I know there are plenty of moms who truly do have a low supply and I do not fault them at all. But, there are so many who use this as a cop out, I would respect them so much more for just saying "it was too much work," "I don't like the idea of it," or "I want to keep my perky boobs."

I have a friend from my moms group who truly had issues and still beats herself up every day for not being able to BF. I get what you are saying, but reading that would probably bring her to tears. I wish she would let go of the guilt.

And like I said, I don't judge those who tried, or those who chose not to try and admit it. I just get irritated who use low supply as an excuse for the fact that they just CHOSE not to or made no effort to bring up their supply.

I understand that BFing is not for everyone, but if it's not atleast have the backbone to admit it.

Why do you care?
I've gotta wonder how you [mamareagan] know what their "real" reason is. The fact that you said you would respect them more for stating their real reason is laughable. If you judge them for not being able to BF for low supply (or just saying so) then you are most certainly going to judge them if they say they didn't like BFing or want to keep their perky boobs. FTR by heart breaks for the ladies who weren't able to BF because if low supply.

I agree. Just because some people don't explain their every move to TB like some people feel obligated to, doesn't mean they didn't try hard enough. Every one has their own reasons. No one is more in the wrong than the other.

Gah! This! On the 6-9 UO somebody said they thought anyone who didn't make their own baby food was lazy.

I don't think she's calling anyone lazy, and she's not passing judgement on those who choose not to breastfeed. She's just saying if you don't want to breastfeed own the reason. There's no reason to blame it on a low supply if that's not the case. The same can be said for anyone who makes up an excuse. If you make a choice, you should own up to it.

I was referring to a UO on the 6-9 board when I used the word lazy. To repeat my UO above, I just don't get why anyone has to justify how they choose to feed their baby.

You're absolutely right, they don't have to, but if they chose to that's different. If a friend of mine in real life said, "I really wanted to breastfeed, but I had a low supply." I would say, "Oh, did you try... xyz?" If she says, "Oh, no I didn't try any of that." Obviously, she didn't really want breastfeed that much and a low supply probably wasn't the reason. Do I care that she has chosen to formula feed? Not at all. Am I slightly annoyed that she's blaming it on low supply but also not doing anything to attempt to fix it? Yes. I'm only annoyed because she's not being honest with me not because of her decision.

J+MS · March 2011

nikki368:
You're absolutely right, they don't have to, but if they chose to that's different. If a friend of mine in real life said, "I really wanted to breastfeed, but I had a low supply." I would say, "Oh, did you try... xyz?" If she says, "Oh, no I didn't try any of that." Obviously, she didn't really want breastfeed that much and a low supply probably wasn't the reason. Do I care that she has chosen to formula feed? Not at all. Am I slightly annoyed that she's blaming it on low supply but also not doing anything to attempt to fix it? Yes. I'm only annoyed because she's not being honest with me not because of her decision.

Again, why do people care?

If she needs to tell herself that's the reason so that she can sleep at night, then let her. It's none of your business.

beccs98 · March 2011

J+MS:
nikki368:
You're absolutely right, they don't have to, but if they chose to that's different. If a friend of mine in real life said, "I really wanted to breastfeed, but I had a low supply." I would say, "Oh, did you try... xyz?" If she says, "Oh, no I didn't try any of that." Obviously, she didn't really want breastfeed that much and a low supply probably wasn't the reason. Do I care that she has chosen to formula feed? Not at all. Am I slightly annoyed that she's blaming it on low supply but also not doing anything to attempt to fix it? Yes. I'm only annoyed because she's not being honest with me not because of her decision.
Again, why do people care?
If she needs to tell herself that's the reason so that she can sleep at night, then let her. It's none of your business.

Thank you J+MS.

And also, thank you for erasing that gigantic quote tree.

J+MS · March 2011

beccs98:
J+MS:
nikki368:
You're absolutely right, they don't have to, but if they chose to that's different. If a friend of mine in real life said, "I really wanted to breastfeed, but I had a low supply." I would say, "Oh, did you try... xyz?" If she says, "Oh, no I didn't try any of that." Obviously, she didn't really want breastfeed that much and a low supply probably wasn't the reason. Do I care that she has chosen to formula feed? Not at all. Am I slightly annoyed that she's blaming it on low supply but also not doing anything to attempt to fix it? Yes. I'm only annoyed because she's not being honest with me not because of her decision.
Again, why do people care?
If she needs to tell herself that's the reason so that she can sleep at night, then let her. It's none of your business.
Thank you J+MS.
And also, thank you for erasing that gigantic quote tree.

It drives me bonkers.

Erina1004 · March 2011

J+MS:
nikki368:

You're absolutely right, they don't have to, but if they chose to that's different. If a friend of mine in real life said, "I really wanted to breastfeed, but I had a low supply." I would say, "Oh, did you try... xyz?" If she says, "Oh, no I didn't try any of that." Obviously, she didn't really want breastfeed that much and a low supply probably wasn't the reason. Do I care that she has chosen to formula feed? Not at all. Am I slightly annoyed that she's blaming it on low supply but also not doing anything to attempt to fix it? Yes. I'm only annoyed because she's not being honest with me not because of her decision.

Again, why do people care?
If she needs to tell herself that's the reason so that she can sleep at night, then let her. It's none of your business.

Exactly this. The reason behind the excuse might be to avoid other people's judging.

tmac1022 · March 2011

J+MS:
nikki368:
You're absolutely right, they don't have to, but if they chose to that's different. If a friend of mine in real life said, "I really wanted to breastfeed, but I had a low supply." I would say, "Oh, did you try... xyz?" If she says, "Oh, no I didn't try any of that." Obviously, she didn't really want breastfeed that much and a low supply probably wasn't the reason. Do I care that she has chosen to formula feed? Not at all. Am I slightly annoyed that she's blaming it on low supply but also not doing anything to attempt to fix it? Yes. I'm only annoyed because she's not being honest with me not because of her decision.
Again, why do people care?
If she needs to tell herself that's the reason so that she can sleep at night, then let her. It's none of your business.

I get why you would find it annoying but maybe there are reason's why these women make up reasons why they don't BF. But really it isn't your business if that's the store she's sticking to then that's the story she's sticking to.

my UO: I secretly hate women that were skinny through their pregnancies and are skinny right after giving birth. That felt good to get off my chest.

nadinethequeen01 · March 2011

J+MS:
nikki368:
You're absolutely right, they don't have to, but if they chose to that's different. If a friend of mine in real life said, "I really wanted to breastfeed, but I had a low supply." I would say, "Oh, did you try... xyz?" If she says, "Oh, no I didn't try any of that." Obviously, she didn't really want breastfeed that much and a low supply probably wasn't the reason. Do I care that she has chosen to formula feed? Not at all. Am I slightly annoyed that she's blaming it on low supply but also not doing anything to attempt to fix it? Yes. I'm only annoyed because she's not being honest with me not because of her decision.
Again, why do people care?
If she needs to tell herself that's the reason so that she can sleep at night, then let her. It's none of your business.

This. People need to quit being so judgey to others about everything, especially on personal things like this.

nikki368 · March 2011

I am only defending mamaregan's post because I understand her annoyance. It would be annoying for someone to tell me that they have a "low supply" but didn't do anything to fix it after having just gone through trying to breastfeed, not being able to, and spending the last 6 months exclusively pumping. I get having problems breastfeeding. Even though I'd be annoyed, I wouldn't say anything to them. I wouldn't call them out or tell them all the things they should do because I absolutely don't care what they do, and I don't think it's any of my business.. but I would still be slightly annoyed.

CherryStarburst · March 2011

Erina1004:
J+MS:
nikki368:

You're absolutely right, they don't have to, but if they chose to that's different. If a friend of mine in real life said, "I really wanted to breastfeed, but I had a low supply." I would say, "Oh, did you try... xyz?" If she says, "Oh, no I didn't try any of that." Obviously, she didn't really want breastfeed that much and a low supply probably wasn't the reason. Do I care that she has chosen to formula feed? Not at all. Am I slightly annoyed that she's blaming it on low supply but also not doing anything to attempt to fix it? Yes. I'm only annoyed because she's not being honest with me not because of her decision.

Again, why do people care?
If she needs to tell herself that's the reason so that she can sleep at night, then let her. It's none of your business.

Exactly this. The reason behind the excuse might be to avoid other people's judging.

Exactly what I was going to say.

Aubrianarose · March 2011

RE: Nikki368--

So wait... according to you, a person has to try every little single thing to get their supply up before they can call it quits other wise they are probably lazy and/or wanted perky boobs?

Have you ever had a low supply and had to try every little thing? Because if you haven't I don't think you know how EXHAUSTING it is to try to keep up with.

For the record, I EBF for 4.5 months before finding out that (like the PP) my DD was a compacent starver. She would not be eating but I wouldn't know because she would not complain. Once she had her exam and we realized she hadn't gained any weight in 2 months I began powerpumping, fenugreek and increased feedings. I did not try more than this because after a month of this it was exhausting and it wasn't working... so yes I gave up. Not because I wanted perky boobs (because I'm pretty sure they are ruined anyway!) but because I was tired and she was still starving. So I put her on formula.

What business is this of yours how much someone considers enough before they give up?

Erina1004 · March 2011

nikki368:

I am only defending mamaregan's post because I understand her annoyance. It would be annoying for someone to tell me that they have a "low supply" but didn't do anything to fix it after having just gone through trying to breastfeed, not being able to, and spending the last 6 months exclusively pumping. I get having problems breastfeeding. Even though I'd be annoyed, I wouldn't say anything to them. I wouldn't call them out or tell them all the things they should do because I absolutely don't care what they do, and I don't think it's any of my business.. but I would still be slightly annoyed.

At the end of the day you're still judging someone for not making the same choices as you.

HisSunshine1220 · March 2011

I'm not excited for baseball season.

nikki368 · March 2011

Aubrianarose:

RE: Nikki368--

So wait... according to you, a person has to try every little single thing to get their supply up before they can call it quits other wise they are probably lazy and/or wanted perky boobs?

Have you ever had a low supply and had to try every little thing? Because if you haven't I don't think you know how EXHAUSTING it is to try to keep up with.

For the record, I EBF for 4.5 months before finding out that (like the PP) my DD was a compacent starver. She would not be eating but I wouldn't know because she would not complain. Once she had her exam and we realized she hadn't gained any weight in 2 months I began powerpumping, fenugreek and increased feedings. I did not try more than this because after a month of this it was exhausting and it wasn't working... so yes I gave up. Not because I wanted perky boobs (because I'm pretty sure they are ruined anyway!) but because I was tired and she was still starving. So I put her on formula.

What business is this of yours how much someone considers enough before they give up?

I'm truly sorry that you had to go through all of that. You're right, I didn't have low supply, I had a baby that refused to latch, so no I don't know what you went through. However, I think you are going way above what I said because what happened to you is completely different than what I'm talking about.

I said if someone told me that they REALLY wanted to breastfeed, but had low supply and didn't try ANYTHING, I would be annoyed if I thought it was just an excuse.

I also didn't say anyone was lazy or wanted perky boobs if they didn't breastfeed. I don't believe that one bit. If someone doesn't want to breastfeed, I don't care at all. I also don't think you have to attempt at all if you don't want to. I have never breastfed my son. He refused to do it, but I pumped for 6 months, and tomorrow is my last day since he'll be 6 months on Saturday. He drinks formula all the time and he will from here on out, so I have no issue on how someone feeds their baby.

My only issue is -- if you are my friend in real life, don't lie to me. I find it annoying. Whether it be about breastfeeding or what you ate for lunch.

SnoopyLuv · March 2011

Nikki368, I know what you're saying. I said the same thing as you but it got overlooked. I compared it to someone complaining about their weight and stuffing their face with pie. If you don't work hard at it, don't complain to me about it. It doesn't matter what you're complaining about, money, weight, fitness whatever. If you don't want to work hard don't complain when things don't work out in your favor. I think we're focusing on bfing because it's relevant to our lives currently.

I think we're all referring to people we know personally who have told us explicitly that they did not try. In my example I have 2 friends who all gave up before 6 weeks because they wanted to sleep for a full night and gave formula. They didn't make up for that by pumping or do anything to help their supplies. They thought it would magically be OK to skip a feeding (or more) for a full night's sleep. And this was not due to ignorance, both took the hospital's BFing class. In those cases their moaning about how they "couldn't keep up" annoyed me.

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