Worried...Please Read Me
AnnaRedhead
member
We got some sad news today...my dad had melanoma last year taken off his back. They did a biopsy of his lymph nodes after the surgery and he was all clear that it hadn't spread. Well my mom checks his back pretty regularly for any sort of discoloration or lumps of any sort. About a month ago she found a lump about the size of a quarter right next to where he had the melanoma taken off before. They finally went to the doctor on Monday and the doctor was concerned and scheduled him to go into surgery to remove the lump yesterday. It ended up being a pretty large tumor, around the size of a sand dollar? They did a biopsy on it and the results came back today and it's melanoma again. We are so devastated.
He goes in Tuesday to get a scan done of his whole body to see if it has spread to any where else in his body. If it comes back negative they will do surgery on the area again and take a skin graft from his leg. If it comes back positive he will have to start Chemo.
I am just an absolute wreck. I've been crying all day and am just so scared that I might loose my dad from this. I am terrified all of this shock and stress may make me have a miscarriage. Does anyone know if stress like this can cause a misscarriage? I'm so worried about it I feel like I want to call my doctor or something. Someone please tell me something I can do to chill out. All my friends are calling and I can't even hold it together enough to pick up the phone.
Re: Worried...Please Read Me
That is without a doubt really difficult and I really feel for you. I lost my Mom as a little girl, and I fully understand how sensitive these things are.
The best I can tell you is to try to stay as calm as possible until you get the test results. You might get great news. I usually try to keep busy and keep life as "normal" as possible, even if that includes asking friends to hold off bringing it up unless you do first.
I haven't heard of stress causing miscarriage this late, but I still think you should try to be as calm as humanly possible. Can you do something like go see a movie that forces you to go out but still not tempt you to talk about it all the time?
Rest assure dthat you'll be in all our thoughts and prayers.
Man, that's tough. We went through cancer last year with my father-in-law and it's not easy... I hope that he doesn't need chemo...
I agree with PP about trying to relax... Just make sure you're not too stressed. I don't think that stress could cause a miscarriage this late, but I know in general stress isn't good for pregnancy for other reasons.
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PgAL and PAL always welcome...I am so sorry that you are going through something as terrible as this. I know how stressful thinking about losing a parent can be. I lost my mother about a year ago unexpectedly and now I am always worried about my dad anytime he even gets sick. The only thing I can suggest is to try and stay positive until your dad has his scan. I know that is easier said than done (trust me), but it is really the only thing that you can do at this point. You will obviously worry because you care so much about your dad, but worrying before knowing the extent of the melanoma.
How are your parents doing with all of this news? I am only imagine how your whole family is feeling right now. I will say this- it is amazing how dillegent your mom has been with checking on your dad. I am hoping and praying that her checking so often will have helped catch this early.
Good luck and please keep us posted
I'm so sorry to hear. Thoughts and prayers for good news!
As for stress, it's not good for anyone, pregnant or not. Whether it can cause a miscarriage is still an on going debate from what I have read. But stress can raise your blood pressure and that isn't good while you are pregnant. High blood pressure can cause Preeclampsia or Gestational Hypertension. Try not to stress your self out too much (easier said then done, I know) and just breathe. You want to be able to get this grandbaby into the world for your dad. Good luck with everything!
THank you all so much for everything you've said. It's amazing how many wonderful people are on this board...you all don't know me but you still take the time to write something that will hopefully make me feel better. I do need to "Keep Calm and Carry on" as they say. Worrying will not do anything you're right. My sister is in the same boat I am...pretty much a wreck. My mom and dad though are staying calm and collected which I'm sure they feel like they have to. Deep breaths...
Thank you all so much for the support and I will post an update after the scan on Tuesday
I'm so sorry you are going through this difficult time! I agree that trying to watch a movie, or do something to keep yourself busy would be best, otherwise you are just going to get yourself even more worked up. I got a tattoo on my back last year after going through 2 miscarriages (the flowers represent what would have been their birth flowers), and what you said above made me think of it, so I'll post it!!! Thinking of you and hoping that all turns out well for your dad and family!
First....many thoughts and prayers to you and your family. Cancer runs in my family, and we have had some scares, so I completely understand what you are dealing with. BIG hugs to you.
Second....the stress:
All I can say is-- try your best to remain as calm as possible. Do some yoga, exercise as often as you can, take long showers/warm baths, drink soothing hot teas, distract yourself with a new hobby (arts and crafts maybe), talk to friends often to vent.
Take care.
I am very sorry you have to go through this. In September of 2009, my mom was diagnosed with Hodgkin's lymphoma when my sister was 7 months pregnant. My whole family are worriers by nature, especially my little sister. I was shocked at the way she took control of everything. My dad was scared, I was terrified, and I can't imagine how my mom felt. She was waiting for her first grandchild to be born and was diagnosed with Stage II cancer. My sister cried to me on the phone, but when it came time for my mom's initial consults, she took a deep breath, waddled herself in with her legal pad
, and asked a litany of questions. She would flat out tell doctors, "we need you to make this phone call to get us an appointment faster. Next week isn't good enough." I don't know if her maternal instinct took over or what, but I was amazed at the way she handled things. She expedited things so much for my mom just by her organization and persistence.
I guess my point is that you're still dealing with the initial shock and with being scared. Hopefully, when you either find out everything is clear or when you get a more definitive diagnosis, your family will be able to take control of the situation with a plan, and you'll be able to settle your worries (even if it's just a little bit). Your family will definitely be in my thoughts and prayers in the coming weeks!
I am so sorry you are going through this. My thoughts and prayers are with you, your father and the entire family.
I doubt at this point in your pregnancy you have to worry about miscarrying due to stress, but just for your sanity try to remain as calm as possible though i know its diffficult. Please keep us posted .
I am so sorry to hear about your dad. T&P are headed his way. I know this is not easy (I watched my dad battle stage 4 cancer at a very young age) but hopefully they caught it early and he will be able to fight it again. Try and stay positive. Worry about things as they come and not what could be. 99% of the time, the things we worry about and make ourselves sick over do not actually happen. When they do, the worrying did us no good anyway. If you can, do some yoga to help you meditate - it really helps. I don't think you can m/c this late because of stress but that's not to say it's okay to be this stressed like this. Do whatever you need to do to calm yourself down. *hugs*
Please keep us posted.
I'm so sorry you are going through this. I hope the scan goes back clean and that it hasn't spread to other parts of his body. We'll all be thinking of you!
As far as stress and miscarriage goes, please don't worry yourself. I know that is easier said than done, but that is just adding to your total stress level. Women go through very stressful situations like this all the time and deliver healthy babies... Just be sure to take care of yourself and relax as much as you can when you have the chance.