Babies: 0 - 3 Months
sheyscorona
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12 days in Ready to FF
sheyscorona
member
I have been bfing and I just don't like it. I feel so tied down, and LO only feeds for 10 mins maybe 15 and then falls asleep... I hate not seeing what he is getting...
I cry all the time and am generally miserable. I dont know what the soultion is. Should I switch to FF, what does that entail... or should I pump and feed? Is there an easier way to do that? ie: pumping a larger amount at a time and storing it.
TIA
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Re: 12 days in Ready to FF
I pump and formula feed. What I do is pump every 3 hours through the day, and do not pump at night. This usually gives me enough to be a day ahead of pumping. Meaning that what I am feeding her is yesterday's pumped milk. She gets the pumped milk during the day, thru her final feeding before bed. And then for the 2-3 bottles at night I give her formula. I also prepare those bottles prior to bed so that they just have to be mixed during the feedings. While I am changing her diaper, H is mixing. I have bottle inserts that Tommee Tippee makes that fits into their bottles perfectly so that the formula does not go into the water until I am ready for it to.
The way that we are feeding her makes it so that I do not feel tied to the pump. The problem I have found has been that on days where she is being extra clingy, it is very difficult to pump.
BFin is hard, but it does gt better it really does. I made it a month with ds and stop cold turkey to ff... I'm 6 weeks in and loving it this time because ive had way more support.
If you want to continue bfing find an lc in your area and go see them they can help imensly. As long as your lo is eating 8-12 x a day and has 6 wet diapers anhd at least 3 dirty ones youre feeding enough i promise.
pumping ties you down more then bfing imo so i dont think you will like that anymore.
Only you can make the decision of wha is best for you and your baby. As long as lo is getting fed it doesnt matter how. You can bond with bottle just like boob. again imo. But ff is going to cost a lot more. DS only ate Gentleease at 30 a tin that last 4 days... a couple hundred a month.Just something thhat i didnt think of before switching with him. hth
Just curious what you mean by "tied down," since your baby will have to eat one way or another (ie. even if it's a bottle, you'll still have to sit down and take the time to do it, and they still may fall asleep, etc). But if you just mean you want to be able to get out for a while (sans baby), I really would not make that decision at 12 days in. Those post-partum hormones are still raging for sure (I was a mess for several weeks!). I had to set a tangible goal to allow myself to get used to BF, so I said "I will do this for 6 weeks and then decide." Things were going great at 6 weeks and I nursed both boys for 10 months each. It was HARD for the first few weeks with my first son, but so worth sticking it out (became so effortless around the 6 week mark, honestly, much less work than cleaning bottles and remembering formula/water when we were out, etc).
I can't tell you what to do, all I can do is tell you my story.
I wanted to do the best for my baby and gave bfing my all. I had blistered nipples before I could even see the in hospital lactation consultant (I had my lo on the 23 of December and everyone seemed to be "off" for the upcoming holiday), and they weren't all that helpful anyway. I had bought a medela PIS so when I got home I started pumping. It didn't hurt nearly as bad (I was screaming when she latched) and really was a relief, however I soon realized that pumping and storing involved WAY more work, so much infact that I couldn't keep up with it and keep my sanity. I grew very depressed and cried constantly, I hated being tied to the pump but I felt like I was failing my daughter and spouse if I gave up. I was sore (episiotimy) and felt like I was losing my mind from lack of sleep.
Needless to say I pumped for 6 weeks before I finally "let go". I say that because its not fair to say I gave up, I worked very hard at it but it just wasn't working for either myself or her. I couldn't stand to hear my daughter wail and not latch because she was hungry when I knew I could ease her by giving her a bottle.
I'm not saying this to persude you to stop, I'm saying this because I wish someone had told me this when I was in this situation. If you really want to do this hire a lactation consultant and go at it with gusto. But if you decide to stop it can be a relief to the both of you. I don't regret quitting at all... I do however regret continuing when it clearly was having adverse effects on the both of us.
Best of luck!
I was the exact same way. I just didn't like breastfeeding. It got to the point that I dreaded feeding time and wasn't enjoying being a mom like I should. I found breastfeeding to be extremely painful, DD had latching problems, and I also hated not knowing how much she was getting. She was 9 lb 1 oz at birth and seemed to be hungry ALL THE TIME! DD would be on each boob for a half hour and then be hungry again an hour later. I spent most of my day with her attached to me. I tried to pump and didn't get much. I know that part of me stopping was due to hormones and just not being able to handle so much at once, but in the end, it was the right choice for me. DD and I (and my husband too, since he doesn't have to hear me complain and cry anymore) are much happier now.
We use powdered formula, but I make a batch for the whole day so I don't have to mix each individual bottle. Dr. Brown's makes a pitcher that blends all the clumps out. I highly recommend it if you decide to FF. My daughter will also take bottles straight from the fridge (which the doctor said is fine), which makes things easier, especially in the middle of the night.
Good luck!
I don't have any advice but I like what she said.
Im sorry you are having a rough time.
hope these can help:
https://www.kellymom.com/bf/normal/love-bf-24-7.html
https://www.kellymom.com/bf/normal/frequent-nursing.html
https://www.kellymom.com/bf/normal/bfip.html
https://www.kellymom.com/bf/normal/newborn-nursing.html
Little Rose is 2 1/2.
I felt the same way in the beginning and almost quit several times. He also had really bad latching issues and I had to wear a nipple shield, which was such a pain. I struggled with the decision and cried A LOT. I thought that I might like pumping better so I tried that for a few weeks and found that it was worse than nursing him. I surprisingly started to miss nursing him and started again and it had gotten so much better. He latches without the shield and only nurses about 10-15 minutes now each side. I know it's hard to believe people when they say it will get better, but it really does.I found that making small goals for myself have helped a lot. I said I'd go until he's 3 months and then reevaluate. I also tell myself that I'm never going to quit on my worst day.
As for feeling tied down and unable to leave your baby with anyone, I am unable to pump enough to send with LO so I just send formula. He takes the formula just fine and I don't go crazy if I miss one pumping or nursing session and it's not too uncomfortable for me. If it does get uncomfortable for you, you can always get a hand pump and pump to relieve the pressure or hand express some milk.
If you do decide to switch to formula don't feel bad about it. As long as you're feeding your baby it doesn't matter how. You can't look at a person and tell whether they were BF or not.
All of the other ladies have brought up a lot of important points. I can't really add anything to what they've already said, so instead I'm going to share my experience with trying to bf.
I tried very very hard to bf DD...my mother bf'ed me and my sisters and in my mind I thought it would just come naturally to me and baby. I can't tell you how wrong I was. She never once latched on correctly. The LC at the hospital gave me a nipple shield, which imo was an even bigger pain in the @ss. It took forever to get it positioned correctly, and then it would slip off and she would get pissed. I cried so much because I felt like such a failure. "I'm such a terrible mom, I can't even feed my own child!" After 2 weeks of hell, I switched over to formula. I can't say that it was a relief...I regretted not trying to bf longer. But in the end I was happy and DD was happy and healthy, so I can't complain.
In the end only you know what's best for you and for LO. I would definitely contact La Leche League or another LC for advice, but remember that these people will do their best to push bf'ing on you. If it's really making you miserable there is no point in it. There's no shame in saying "I can't do it."
Thank you everyone who took the time to respond with advice, support etc.
I still don't know what the answer is... I started this process saying I would give it 6 weeks... but two weeks in and four weeks left... it seems like a long time. Still I think Ill at least give it another week and see how we make out.
I have been in contact with a LC since day one, I had issues with blockage and severe engorgement in the beginning, another issue that got this whole BF thing off to a rocky start... And I am using a nipple shield due to latching issues as well. So its sooooooo nice to hear of other women with allll of the same issues as I have been having.
Thanks again Ladies