Am I being over sensitive?

TheBachelorette

So my Mom passed away 3 years ago.  My Dad has a g/f who I do not particularly like (I really loved her in the beginning but she always starts drama around holidays, birthdays and special occasions.  Now I stay away from her and have not spoken to her since she ruined Thanksgiving).  We are Jewish and planning the bris/baby naming for the twins.  Yesterday on facebook I asked people to send me their e-mail addresses so we can send out evites for the bris/baby naming (its done on the 8th day and regular mail is not practical).  So the g/f called my father and told him that I invited over 200 people to the bris.  First of all, I have fb friends from all walks of life (like we all do) and they are not all coming to the bris.  We have somewhere between 30-60 people coming.  Second, what is it any of her business?  If I want to invite 500 people to our home to celebrate the birth of our children, what does she care?  How does this affect her?  After today she is not even invited! 

Am I being over sensitive or would you be mad too?  I feel like she is already trying to ruin the birth of these babies and they aren't here yet. 

leviandlandensmom

No, I don't think you're being over sensitive. These are your babies, she's not even related to them. It's insulting that she is even butting in at all.

I'm sorry about your Mom. I know every time I am pregnant or have my LOs I have a hard time because I don't have my Mom either and I miss her.

TheBachelorette

leviandlandensmom:

I'm sorry about your Mom. I know every time I am pregnant or have my LOs I have a hard time because I don't have my Mom either and I miss her.

I am sorry for your loss as well.  It is very difficult sometimes but I just think about how she is always with me now.  I truly believe that our twins are a blessing from her.  We are naming our daughter after her and I know that somewhere she is smiling down on us from above.

Haven1

I'm sorry your mom passed away, and I'm sorry your dad's gf is a drama queen.

Onto your original question-- I didn't think you were being too sensitive until the last 5% of your post.  The "after today she's not even invited" is probably a bit too far.  You're right, it's none of her business who you invite, but maybe it was just a random comment from someone who clearly isn't cool enough to understand facebook. 

She may or may not be "trying to ruin the birth of these babies", I don't know her history, but based on what you've presented here, I wouldn't say that's the case.  Hang in there and do the best you can to not care what she thinks.  Your bris/baby naming celebration will be wonderful!  You have wonderful, little, amazing babies on the way!!!

hunt2005

I don't think you're being oversensitive. We totally understand our family better than is able to be expressed on a message board, especially intentions.

Just remember that if she does come, the only person she'll be hurting by making any comments is herself since others will see the type of person she really is and try to just blow it off knowing that it's just how she is. It's your perogative how many people you invite over and what their names are and, well, EVERYTHING else about these babies. Maybe if she and your dad had been married a while and you had a good relationship with her that would be one thing, but that's not the case.

Does your dad see what's happening? Or is he oblivious to everything?

TheBachelorette

hunt2005:

Does your dad see what's happening? Or is he oblivious to everything?

Unfortunately, he is oblivious.  We have always been a very close family and he is struggling with the loss of my Mom and the change in the family dynamic since my sister and I (we are the only children) do not want to be around the g/f.  He is one of those people who would literally give you the shirt off his back.  He is my Dad so I am biased but he never has a bad word for anyone and is really one of the nicest people you will ever meet.  I just don't think he sees past the act...

tmbuchmann

can you unfriend her?

robinsokj

Yes, I think you're being to sensitive.  If you openly posted that on fb I would asume you were inviting everyone on your friends list and would probably mention it to someone as well.