Wedding shower if bride can't attend?

W&J'sMommy

My brother is getting married and I'd like to do some type of shower for my future SIL.  Problem is they live in a different state quite far away and are not going to be in our home state before wedding.  Any ideas on how I could still give her some type of shower, without her being here?  Can I send out invites asking people to send her gifts, with no party?  Too tacky (by nest standards anyway)?

 

JOEBunny

No bride, no shower. NFT

DandelionMom

I think it could be done if you have a small party where you invite only the closest family (the ones that would want to send her a gift even without a shower) and arrange some way for the bride to be included (video chat or something).  But you'd either have to figure out a way to ship the gifts or hold on to everything for them. 

EastCoastBride

No.  If people want to send gifts, they will.  They don't need to be told do to so.  The one poster talked about doing it w/ truly only her closest friends and family, and to a point I can say "sure, maybe".  But even then, when I REALLY think about it - she won't be there.  Even w/ skype - she'll be sitting in a room by herself, she really won't be AT the party.

I personally find this silly.  You're intentions are nice, I'm not busting on that.  But the actual way it will play out... it just doesn't make sense. 

joseysbride

Are they going to be there at least a few days before the wedding?  I was just finishing up college in a different state right before I got married in my hometown.  I went home a week before the wedding, and the day I got back some friends and family back home threw me a shower.  It was kind of last minute, but it was really nice to spend time with all of the people I hadn't seen for so long.

Brewster

I would do one of 2 things, either send her a very, very nice gift along with a card wishing you could have thrown her a shower.  Or, offer to financially help with a shower where she is.  My BFF's SIL did that for both her bachelorette and baby shower b/c she could not come to them.  She was listed as a hostess on the invitation even though she was not in attendance.

Dcubed

All of my family and a lot of friends live across the country from me so they were not included in my shower nor did I expect them to send presents for it.  They came to the wedding and brought presents at that time.  The night before the wedding we got together and had fun since they were all in town (like a bachelorette party).  I would think it was tacky to have a shower without a bride if I was invited and would just assume to bring whatever presents I wanted for the wedding.  To me it says it is all about presents not the gathering of friends.

peekaboo716

I have heard of the recipe showers before. The bride's sister sent personlized recipe cards and address/stamped envelopes to close friends and family. She included a letter explaining that they were welcome to provide the new couple with their favorite recipes to start their married life together. The bride's sister then sent to the bride, a personized cook book that she could insert each of the recipes in.

I saw the finished cookbook, and it was really cute. Some of the family members gave stories about the reasons why they sent the recipes they did, and the bride put those in the book too. It was really sweet, and really personal. And didn't look greedy.

jlw2505

I think its a bit tacky to do a shower if the bride can't be there.  I love the recipe book idea and I have also seen a simliar thing where people were sent a piece of fabric and asked to make a square for a quilt for the couple.  I also really like the idea of just doing a small party a few days before the wedding once the bride is in town.

crazynervous

I really like peekaboos idea.