sex talk with a 3 or 4 yr old.... r9 come here too

amiamish

Jake has asked me how Colin got in my belly and I kinda dodged it by changing the subject because I didn't really know what to say. So... what did you tell your kid. Also, since I had c/s with both "babies came out of my tummy" so he doesn't really know about vagina's either. Ugh. Am I the only one who hasn't told their kid about all this? Maybe I should get a book at the library for him...?

Jodi&Joe

He's THREE AND A HALF!  I think you have plenty of time for the sex talk. 

Do you think he's going to question it again?   Honestly, I know Joey and Cam have asked about coming out of my belly and I've told them that.  I don't think they have ever asked how they got IN my belly though?!  If they have, I brushed it off with something silly and juvenile (after all, they ARE juvenile) and called it a day.

r9stedt

Not to dog on you, but does he not know that you have a vagina?

I just don't get that kids get to this age and don't know about penises and vaginas.


I don't know how to tell him how the baby got in there.

I would probably say that mommies and daddies love each other they ask for god to put a baby in their belly.   

CTFandme

today ds asked a girl at daycare to marry him.  Then he asked me if they would have babies.  I said yes, after you are married you guys can make, er, have babies.  He left it at that.  The other day he asked me if dd would live with us after a baby came out of her belly.  I said no, by then she'd have her own house.  I think at this age the idea of a baby and it being in your belly is nothing more than logistics.  They don't need to have any specific kind of talk just quite yet.

amiamish

I've dodged it twice just in the past few months, so yes I think it will come up again. And I don't want to use the answer my mom says "god put him there." Jake is always asking questions- well thought out questions- and I always like to answer him correctly, but this one I'm kinda scared of...for an unknown reason.

shiloh17

I told my 4yr old that we wished and prayed for a little baby to love. We were blessed with each of them in my belly where they could grow big and strong. He bought it, and didnt ask again. Im so not educating him just yet on the birds and bees.

Jodi&Joe

Well the correct answer is daddy stuck his penis in mommy's vagina, shot out sperm, sperm fertilized egg, egg gestated and 10 months later -- baby was here.

I mean ....really...at 4 years old?!  EEK!

Anything short of that isn't the correct answer, right?  Discussing daddy sticking his penis in mommy's vagina even with my 6.5 year old seems a stretch!

Temp108743750006959

DS asked and we opted for the plain truth minus details. Mommy and Daddy love each other, had sex/intercourse and a baby started to grow in Mommy's belly. He didn't ask for details and I did not offer. Someone here posted a 'hippy-ish' type vid once - that might be helpful if he asks further.

amiamish

r9stedt:

Not to dog on you, but does he not know that you have a vagina?

I just don't get that kids get to this age and don't know about penises and vaginas.


I don't know how to tell him how the baby got in there.

I would probably say that mommies and daddies love each other they ask for god to put a baby in their belly.   

he knows it's different than his, but I'm pretty sure he doesn't know the word "vagina." Its never come up since he doesn't see me naked.

ali2005jason

Both of my kids know differences between males and females. DS knows he came out "naturally" and that DD came out through my belly. Never once has he asked how either one of them, or babies in general, get in there. I'm not totally ready to have that talk with him either.

But, our school system does the body talk in 3rd grade....that's next year It just seems so young to me!

amiamish

Jodi&Joe:

Well the correct answer is daddy stuck his penis in mommy's vagina, shot out sperm, sperm fertilized egg, egg gestated and 10 months later -- baby was here.

I mean ....really...at 4 years old?!  EEK!

Anything short of that isn't the correct answer, right?  Discussing daddy sticking his penis in mommy's vagina even with my 6.5 year old seems a stretch!

LMAO Jodi!!! I don't wanna take it THAT far. Glad to know I'm not the only one who hasn't clued their kid in. I really thought everyone else had told their kids.

ppants

We got this book for my b/g twins.  https://search.barnesandnoble.com/Amazing-You/Gail-Saltz/e/9780525473893/?itm=1&USRI=amazing+you+getting+smart+about+your+private+parts

I got Talking to Your Kids About Sex: Turning "the Talk" Into a Conversaton for Life for me to help guide our conversations.  It's very helpful and breaks it down age by age.

 

jettagurl

vccake:

DS asked and we opted for the plain truth minus details. Mommy and Daddy love each other, had sex/intercourse and a baby started to grow in Mommy's belly. He didn't ask for details and I did not offer. Someone here posted a 'hippy-ish' type vid once - that might be helpful if he asks further.

That was Cleo.  

I was just about to say, "where's Cleo when you need her?" lol.

I bookmarked the YouTube link, but it's been removed apparently.

 

r9stedt

L sees me naked more than he probably should.    Meh.  Oh well!!   I am trying to be more modest around him!

amiamish

mrs_sexy:

We got this book for my b/g twins.  https://search.barnesandnoble.com/Amazing-You/Gail-Saltz/e/9780525473893/?itm=1&USRI=amazing+you+getting+smart+about+your+private+parts

I got Talking to Your Kids About Sex: Turning "the Talk" Into a Conversaton for Life for me to help guide our conversations.  It's very helpful and breaks it down age by age.

 

thank you! I'll see if I can find those at the local library or B&N.

amiamish

mrs_sexy:

We got this book for my b/g twins.  https://search.barnesandnoble.com/Amazing-You/Gail-Saltz/e/9780525473893/?itm=1&USRI=amazing+you+getting+smart+about+your+private+parts

I got Talking to Your Kids About Sex: Turning "the Talk" Into a Conversaton for Life for me to help guide our conversations.  It's very helpful and breaks it down age by age.

 

thank you! I'll see if I can find those at the local library or B&N.

#6

My kids have never asked.  I have never mentioned it.

 

Marce921

K asked this in the Walmart bathroom one day. While I heard a lady from one of the stalls giggling, I said, "Well, you know how we planted a seed and a flower grew? Mommy had a seed in her belly and it grew into a baby." He was totally fine with that answer. LOL

amiamish

I like that Marcey! That might work

Heidisean

My daughter was 3 when I got pregnant and just turned 4 when I had our 2nd.

When 2 people love each other and are married they make a baby. It takes a mommy and daddy that love each other to do this. 

Then she asked how Evie will come out to my OB and he replied without hesitation. "Your mom has a small hole in her crotch and she pushes and the baby slides right out". 

I don't believe in lying but this was just enough for her to know at this age. She told EVERYONE how the baby comes out (store clerks, check out people, people at the library, playdates, etc). She would say, my mommy has my baby sister in her belly and she has a small hole in her crotch that Evie will slide out of". LOL

superslug

I try to be as honest as possible, but I have always talked around the whole intercourse thing. I am just not ready to go there yet. They do know they have penises and mama has a vagina (which my 5yo calls a china, lol). They also know they grew in my tummy and I pushed them out of china :-).

wifeandmama

My just-turned 3-year-old started asking me about how babies are made ALL THE TIME.  "Who made me?  Where'd I come from?  How I get in your belly?" etc.  I just say simply, "Mommy and Daddy love each other very much and decided to have a baby and we made you!  Then you grew big in mommy's belly."  Then he always follows up with, "Doctor pushed me out of your tummy!" (Which is not really true but I'm not going through the "I pushed you out of my vagina" deal at 3.)

I think I'll get that book. I really don't wnat to say the "wrong" thing and have my chatterbox tell some random stranger on the street something weird and sex-related, ha! 

Jodi&Joe

"Do you suppose Teen Mom prayed for God to put a baby in her belly?"

Big difference between 4 year old and Teen Mom.....about 12 years worth of difference.  I'm quite sure there is plenty of time to have the truthful conversation about the birds and bees.  Doesn't need to be done at 4, IMO.

And the squeamish thing - I'm not squeamish (if that was referring to me).  I also don't feel I need to explain the birds and bees to my 4 year old.  Or my 6 year old for that matter.  Thankfully they've never really inquired either.   I do think that parents sometimes take this whole "I must be PC with my children at every possible moment" a bit too far.

Your son is the exception, of course.  I know, with my nephew, the conversation would have come up at least 100 times and he would not have been satisfied until he got the right detailed answer.  My kids aren't on spectrum and don't push me on my answers (yet anyway)! 

 

 

goodheartedmommy

Find out exactly what he wants to know and answer it as much as you can. My kids know that daddy has a sperm that fertilizes my egg. They know where my egg is, where the baby comes out of, etc. They haven't asked yet where the sperm is kept or how it gets in me.

Jodi&Joe

goodheartedmommy:

Find out exactly what he wants to know and answer it as much as you can. My kids know that daddy has a sperm that fertilizes my egg. They know where my egg is, where the baby comes out of, etc. They haven't asked yet where the sperm is kept or how it gets in me.

This is so......odd....I guess that's the word.  I can't imagine my freaking 3 and younger knowing about sperm.  And eggs.  Really!?

And I'm far from a prude.  That's not it at all.  It's just ......I don't know.  Makes me shake my head.

amiamish

thanks for all the answers ladies! I'll let you know how it goes when it comes up.