love with limits?

samanthat09

My friend posted something the other day about problems she is having with her parents...and someone posted are her status that she should cut them out of her life because love isn't unconditional. I of course had to post something since that really bothered me. Everyone has had or has problems with their parents but could anyone honestly say that they don't have one ounce of love for their parents? I have had many years of problems with my father and we don't speak at all anymore, he use to tell me his love for me had limits...I don't understand that. I have no limit on the love for my boys! I may not always agree on the things they do but I will always love them no matter what! No matter how bad things have been with my dad I love him...maybe not so much the man he is now but I loved the man he was and part of my still loves him. Has anyone else ever heard someone say that to them or about their own family? How can people so easily cut their "loved ones" out of their life?

monkski

I personally couldn't ever feel that way or even imagine it, but unfortunately, there are a lot of people out there with serious issues to deal with and loved ones get hurt by it. It sucks and makes me so sad for kids (big or small) that have to face that.

samanthat09

I can totally understand where your coming from. When I was young I was close to my dad but when my parents began their divorce and I became pregnant with my oldest it all changed. Not anything I want to get into detail about because it's a LONG story but part of me hates my father for all he's done to me and for trying to keep my son from me but it seems no matter what I find myself still missing him and loving him. And I don't think there is anything I can do about that. But I don't understand telling your child that your love for them has limits. I don't speak to my father and haven't in years...our relationship has caused me a great deal of pain and I distance myself from that as much as possible but I don't think, even if I wanted too I could ever stop myself from loving him. Sometime I wish I didn't care at all about it because then it wouldn't hurt but it does. I don't think I could ever tell him that my love for him has limits because I'll always love him...but that doesn't mean I want anything to do with him.

*Laney*

I'm with you on that one.  I am really close with my family and do not understand people who don't get along with theirs.  My husband has a VERY strained relationship with his mother and I always tell him that I can't imagine what I would do if my son treated me the way he treats his mom.  I guess I'm not the one who grew up with her but lets face it... we're stuck with the ones we're related to..might as well get along unless they have commited some unforgivable act such as my father did... (he was a wifebeater.... no excuse for that an no need for me to speak to him)  My mom, stepdad and sister are great though.. maybe i'm just luckier than some ...

hurricanelydiaa

My mother has never told me "I love you" as far back as I can remember, nor has she ever acted in a loving manner towards me. She doesn't act as if she has any sort of mother-daughter bond with me and honestly I've given up on ever being close to her. It really makes me sad, hurt, and also angry, especially now that I am a mother and I feel such a strong love for my son- it makes me wonder why she never felt that way towards me. It's caused a lot of pain for me and I have considered more than once cutting her out of my life. However, I am a little bit close with my dad so there's no way to really see one and not the other. But I have stopped going out of my way to try to connect with her because there's really no point.