Toddler moms: biting, hitting and throwing??

MissLMS

Kennedy lately has started to throw temper tantrums when she doesn't get her way. Our biggest struggle is when she wants something and I say no, she'll pick up something (usually a book, toy or her plate) and throw it across the room. She'll then pick it up and throw it across the room again until I put her in time own.

 A few times she'll even swat at me if I'm in close proximity and has started to bite herself when she's very frustrated.

We are doing time out but honestly it doesn't seem to be working well. Most of the time she'll either laugh when put her in time out or act like it's no big deal. (I have to stand over her to ensure she stays in place and doesn't run away.)

Anyone else gone through this? I'm at a loss for what to do (this is kind of a new development. K's speech skills still aren't great and I think she gets frustrated about that most of the time.) We do not plan to spank.

ARCatlett

I wish I had some advice to give you with this..... Sydney does the biting thing as well. Abby never did this, so I wasn't sure what to do. Honestly, we do sit her in time out and we have popped her hand occassionally simply because I didn't want her to go do it to someone else. 

She has gotten bit multiple times at daycare, so I just chalked that up from her thinking it was o.k. to bite.

So, I'm interested in what others have to say about this! 

AUHOLLEY06

It is good to know mine isnt the only one doing these things. I keep reading that this is the stage that they are in at this time. I don't know if this is what they call the "terrible 2's". I have popped her hand but wonder if this makes her think she can hit. She throws herself on the floor and will throw her toys and give me that "what you gonna do about it" look. I completely believe it is b/c she cant tell me exactly what she wants. I think maybe try to continue with the time outs and just ignore her when you can if she isnt hurting herself or others.

hlw082104

We went through this as well and still have some issues but somewhere around 3 years, 3 months, DS suddenly became very aware of when he was in trouble, consequences and guilt. He gets really upset about it. If I even slightly raise my voice and tell him no or put him in time out, he literally will lay completely flat on the floor, couch or bed and either cry or be completely silent.

Temp206787500007404

No idea...Payton headbutts (people, not objects...OUCH) and throws things when she doesn't get her way. 

star21gazer

No idea here either...we have a thrower and a fit pitcher when she gets frustrated or doesn't get her way...I'm totally at a loss of what to do.  We've just been ignoring the fits, until she calms down and trying to then calmly figure out what she was trying to tell us.  The throwing thing we just take whatever it was that she threw and firmly tell her no and don't let her have it back.  We haven't tried the time out thing yet, but that's next on our list. 

ojgist

I was this child. The only thing that worked for my mother was to actually take something away from me that I loved. She tried spanking me and time out and I laughed at both. I knew I was still in control. Take away her favorite snack or toy. Just something she really really loves. Don't give it back to her for at least a day. It has to be long enough to make her miss it. Good Luck!

starsmaycollide

Obviously I'm not a toddler mom, so this may not be helpful....but does anyone know if Happiest Toddler on the Block is any help? I really liked Happiest Baby on the Block for sleep advice, and heard Karp wrote the Toddler version about behavior issues. I'd be curious about what his approach to this sort of thing is. 

HK2mom4

I like the commits you received to this one! Now I would like to add all of you are in for some of the best and worst times of your lives with a toddler in the house. Those terrible two's are a time of hair pulling (yours not theirs; that is) there will be times when you will laugh, cry, want to throw-up your hands, leave, get SO, BF, or DH to just come home, take the brat - then leave! But now do not despair not all is lost. There really is a light at the end of that tunnel!

A child knows the word ?NO? early, very early in their life - since they hear it so often. It?s not the word so much as the tone in your voice as you say it! A child starts learning control within two weeks of its birth! Believe it or not! So by the time they are about two - they want to be in control of things.

Now, I do not claim to be the world?s foremost authority on child psychology but I have learned a few things over the years by having had three boys of my own. A mother is first a mom, teacher, comforter, someone whom a child depend on for that first two years. Then they (the child) somehow start getting the idea they are or need to be more independent so it starts.

Now to the throwing of things - this needs to be brought under control by you as quickly as possible. A child will react in many different ways to punishment so you must try different way of getting their attention (short of killing them that is). Some stop with sternness in your voice, the way you stare at them, a spanking, time out, a hand popping, being sent to their room, having that favorite toy or snack taken away for a day or two, not allowed watching something on TV etc. It is possible it will take more than one of these to cure your LO of there persistence in or to a bad habit. You be patient but persistence in your correction of them. They really do learn by example ?

Biting (if it?s self biting) will usually stop on it own. But if this continues or it persists for several months then see your child?s pediatrician or his nurse for advice. Here my second child had to have placed on his finger and hand quinine he stopped biting quickly - dead in his tracks that did the trick for us.

Hitting is another one of those things which need early intervention! Here you need to correct him/her in a way they can understand usually by saying something like ?That?s not a good way to behave!? or ?Do you think that will get you what you want?? etc.

On either biting or hitting you might also need to use some of the suggestions mentioned in throwing things or even getting additional advice from their pediatrician or his nurse. They are a great source of information.

As one poster said about her son: ? ? issues but somewhere around 3 years, 3 months, DS suddenly became very aware of when he was in trouble, ? ? this will usually happen to all if given time or you do not kill them first!

Temp206787500007404

Oh, Wilma.

MrsAO

It didnt even occur to me that that may have been her. Dangit!

Anyway, I have a fit/tantrum/thrower toddler too. I do agree w/ a previous poster in that it's probably terrible 2's for us all.  I just try to be consistent in our behavior adjustment tactics.  I also realize that DS takes DH way more seriously than he does me.  Must be the base in his voice.

SeasideBride06

MrsB2007:

Oh, Wilma.

My exact thoughts!

Anyways, Lydia, I am in the same boat with you!  Allie doesn't bite herself, but pulls hand fulls of her own hair out!  Ugh! 

star21gazer

MrsAO:

.  I also realize that DS takes DH way more seriously than he does me.  Must be the base in his voice.

I have noticed this too with A.  She'll straighten up real quick when DH is the one taking control of the situation.