Miscarriage at 12 weeks

bselirio

We only told a small number of people that we were expecting. We were waiting until 12 weeks and for our first ultrasound to tell the rest of our family and friends. I was so relieved when we reached 12 weeks last Friday and was looking forward to our ultrasound to see the baby's heartbeat which was scheduled for Tuesday (yesterday). Over the weekend, I had pink/brownish spotting on Saturday then bright red spotting on Sunday with mild cramping. I had a doctor's appointment on Monday and found out that I had a urinary tract infection which could be the reason for the spotting. I was given antibiotics for the UTI and told to rest until our ultrasound appointment on Tuesday. Monday afternoon I started lightly bleeding and mild cramping continued, by the evening I had heavy bleeding, large clotting and cramping worsened. My husband took me to the emergency room where they examined me and did an ultrasound that confirmed that it was a miscarriage. The ultrasound showed that the baby had no heartbeat and was 8 weeks 3 days in size. This was devastating! The doctor indicated that it was most likely due to a chromosomal abnormality and made sure that I knew it wasn't due to anything that I did including the UTI, stress, etc. I am very thankful knowing that we are able to get pregnant and look forward to when we will be ready to TTC again. My husband has been very loving and supportive, and our parents have been here for both of us. I am so greatful for their help and support during this sad time. I am trying to decide between waiting for the miscarriage to complete naturally or having a D & C. For natural expulsion, I am worried about how long I will have to wait for it to happen and losing a lot of blood at home when it does happen. For the D & C, I am worried about the risks involved with the surgery such as the possibility of a perforated urterus, difficulty conceiving, etc. I know that I have to make a decision soon but keep flipping back and forth between the two options.

ohbabyoh

I am so so sorry for your loss.  I hate that any of us have to be here but this board can be a great source of support.

I had a natural m/c so I can't help answer your question.  But I know there are women on this board who have had to face the same choice so I hope they can help.  It is obviously a very personal decision and you should do what you feel is best for you.

((hugs))

SoonToBeMrsDTS

Sig warning - pics  

 

I'm so sorry for your loss. We lost our second twin at almost 13 weeks. I opted for the D&C because I couldn't deal with what I could possible see coming out of me. I just knew that I couldn't go through it. My doctor told me it's better for your body to m/c naturally if you can but she said many patients opt for the D&C. It's a personal decision and neither is the wrong thing to do. 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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PenelopeLaneMorrisey

I am so sorry for your loss, and glad that you have a strong support system in your husband.

I'm not sure if you are looking for advice, and obviously, this decision in the end will be all your own. I can only tell you that my own experience with D&C, which was a wonderful one. They used suction, which made me feel more at ease, because the risk of a perforated uterus was lower. It was nerve wracking the few days I had knowing I had to have the surgery, but when I got there, and was led back to surgery, the drugs they gave me were wonderful at helping with the fear. I actually woke up in the middle of the procedure, and there was no pain, just pressure. After I slept for a couple hours and was able to go to work that night. The cramping and bleeding were minimal afterwards.

 As for the risks, my doctor gave me a paper that gave me all the risks and complications, and, I'm not going to lie, it scared the **** out of me. But, I just kept reminding myself that millions of women have gone through this procedure unscathed, and millions have gone on to conceive happy, healthy babies after.

Just remember, whatever decision you make will be the right one. 

 

 

chanteltbarrett

I am very sorry for you loss.  I had to have a D&C because I had a molar pregnancy, but I just wanted to let you know that I found it to be a good experience.  No pain and they give you enough meds to help you forget it.  Whatever decision you make will be the right one for you.

lauralew

I hate you have to be here, but I'm so happy you chose to turn to the board for support.  I hope you find some comfort here during this difficult time.

I, too, was unsure what to do.  I did not have any symptoms of a m/c prior to my u/s.  I scheduled my D&C for 10 days after the u/s.  This way I allowed my body some time to start the m/c naturally, but also gave myself a deadline.  

Whatever you decide, we are here to help you through it.  Take care of yourself! 

sessa717

i am so sorry for your loss, it's so heartbreaking to go through. i lost my baby at 9w2d but the baby was only 8w3d. my doctor scheduled a d&c when we found out there was no heartbeat but i ended up passing the baby on my own later that day. the pain and cramping was the worst i ever felt, but only lasted about 2 hours. i then had heavy bleeding for about 6 hours and i passed the tissue and the baby. the d&c was canceled because the sonogram showed that my uterus was empty. i bled lightly for a few more days and then it stopped completely. my doctor was pleased that i miscarried naturally and said it was the best thing that could have happened, considering the circumstances. that being said, i would have had the d&c and probably not waited had things not happened the way they did. i'm sorry i can't be more help, good luck to you.

williams4me

I'm so sorry for your loss, my story is similar.. We found out at our 12 week appt the babe's hb had stopped in the 11th week.  We were so excited heading to that appt to tell everyone the news after.  Instead we had to inform the few that knew about the awful news.

My Dr wanted me to have the D&C, she said at the stage I was at passing the tissue would have been incredibly painful and would only add insult to injury....she said the risks are not common and that I shouldn't worry.  I went in 2 days later and was happy with my decision, as I just wanted it to be over and not have to wait around for the unknown to happen.  The D&C was the start to my healing process.  This is a great place for you to be to find comfort and information too when you have questions... big (((hugs))) to you..

1220winterbride

i am so sorry for your loss. welcome to the board.

LaTi07

**Warning - Possible TMI involved. Not for the faint**

I didn't really get a choice persay since I had a natural m/c, but I will share my experience with you. I was just over 7 weeks when I started my m/c. I started spotting on Friday. It was browinish in color, but u/s confirmed the baby was fine. Saturday I had some pinkish turned red spotting in the AM, but it stopped by the afternoon, no cramps. Sunday morning at just after 4 am is when all h*ll broke loose.

I woke up with the most god awful cramps I have ever had in my life and I could feel that I was bleeding by just how "wet" I was. I went to the bathroom and the amount of blood was so scary. My DH and I headed to the ER. I'm not going to lie to you, I bled so excessively and the pain literally took my breath away. I have 5 tattoos and have had stitches with no pain meds before, but this absolutely took the cake. I had to have a vaginal u/s which sucked and a pelvic exam. The u/s confirmed that not only had we lost the baby, I had already passed the "tissue." I had to be given fluids due to becoming dehydrated from blood loss and was given pain meds. The bleeding was terrible all day Sunday and Monday. By Tuesday it started to lighten up.

I'm now on day 10 and the bleeding is down to a light spotting and I have no cramps. My docs are monitoring me to make sure that my levels get back to zero, but all in all, it's over. I'm not going to sugar coat it, it was incredibly painful and very messy, but I'm glad I did have a natural m/c over needing a procedure simply because it is better for your body.

No matter what anyone tells you, you need to do what is best for YOU. Both have major risks invovled. With a D&C, sure you could have complications, but you can with a natural m/c as well. You could go through all that pain and bleeding only to find out you have retained tissue and need a D&C anyway. Your body could get a massive infection with either one. I think pretty much the risks are neck and neck. If I was given an option I would probably go with a D&C simply because of how emotional the natural m/c was. It may not be as good for my body, but it would have been a h*ll of a lot better for my heart. I DID know when I passed the tissue. There was no mistaking it and that still haunts me to this day.

:Hugs: No matter what, we will be here to be your shoulder to cry on, a sounding board or advice!

kellbelle618

I don't have any advice but I am so sorry for your loss.

nicole52

I'm so very sorry for your loss and everything you are going through now. We found out at 11w2d that we had lost our baby at 7w3d. We also were presented with the choice of natural m/c or d&c, but we were also given another option of using cytotec to medically induce the m/c. DH and I really struggled with this decision because we had tried for 18months for this baby and we were so emotional about the loss. I didn't think I could handle seeing the tissue pass. We opted for the d&c and honestly, it was the best decision I could've made for me. Everything went so smoothly and everyone was so compassionate and kind. It was over before I knew it and all the fears I had for complications and "was I making the right choice" melted away as soon as I woke up in the recovery room. I was so relieved that everything was done and went well, I cried. (Maybe that was the anesthesia, who knows). I just had the d&c yesterday, and I really feel great. My OB used suction which made me feel more at ease and she said it decreased chances of any tissue remaining after. This would decrease the amount of spotting and cramping after also. I have had minimal of either and haven't had to take any pain meds since the recovery room. Not even tylenol/motrin. I feel pretty good actually. More like myself again. 

This is no easy decision. I hope you make the one that is the best for you. Again, I am so sorry for your loss. Good luck in the days/weeks to come. 

MarxieVonTrapp

I'm so sorry for your loss.

I opted for a d&c as soon as possible. My sister had a natural miscarriage and she said it was the most painful thing she's ever experienced.  I didn't want the pain and I didn't want to wait--I wanted to move on and get ready for what was next.  They knocked me out for the procedure and I woke up with my husband next to me and was fine (physically) by the next day.

A d&c is an incredibly common procedure with very small risks.  A natural miscarriage is also incredibly common, with very small risks.  Decide what you want to do for you.

I am so sorry for your loss.

bselirio

We were planning to meet with the doctor tomorrow (Friday) to get more information on the D & C. Yesterday (Wednesday) afternoon my cramping and bleeding started to subside a bit but in the evening the bleeding and painful cramping suddenly started again. The cramping was quite bad (similar to what I experienced on Monday) and I was tempted to take tylenol/ibuprofen but didn't. About an hour later, I had really heavy bleeding and passed a large clot with tissue, about the size of an egg. Although I didn't have a choice, I am glad that my body was able to handle the natural expulsion as I was expecting it to be worse after reading posts on the bump and other websites. Also, I am thankful that my husband was there and we were able to say goodbye and a prayer to our little angel together. I went for an ultrasound this afternoon which indicated that there doesn't appear to be any fetal parts left. Even though they confirmed what we already knew, I feel worse right now knowing for sure that my belly is empty. Hopefully, we can start to heal and move forward. Thank you very much for your support and advice, it is very much appreciated.

angelabrown810

I had natural miscarriages for both of my losses and if I could it over again, I could do a D&C. The first one (at 11 weeks) was already happening by the time I knew what was going on and quickly resolved itself. But for the second (6weeks), I knew ahead of time that the pregnancy wasn't going well and my doctor gave me a choice for treatment. I chose to miscarry naturally in order to avoid uterine damage in case I decide to try again, but for me, both miscarriages were extremely painful (visit to the ER for morphine multiple times kind of painful) and disruptive and in both instances I saw the fetus when it passed which is something I wouldn't wish on anyone. If a D&C is on the table and you trust the person that's going to do the procedure, that's what I would do.

boymamaco

I'm so sorry for your loss. No one should have to be here. I hope you can find comfort in knowing there are so many that have gone through what you are going through. For me its helpful but I also cry every time I read about someone's loss. It just rips open the wound again.

I was 8w1d. Our baby was measuring somewhere around 7 weeks. I chose to have a D&C two days later because I just wanted it to be over. I couldn't stand the thought that my unborn, lifeless baby was inside of me.  And I was scared that a natural m/c would surprise me while I was at the office, and result in me needing to take time off. Unfortunately I don't have a very flexible job, so it was best for me to go in Saturday morning for the D&C and have the rest of the weekend to heal.

Obviously its a very personal decision and I hope you find peace in whichever route you decide to go. 

ETA: I was surprised at how little pain I had after the procedure. I came home and slept, and then ate some dinner. We stayed up and  watched movie. I didn't need any of the prescription pain meds. In fact, I didn't even take any Advil. I bled for a day, and then lightly spotted for about 5 days after that. 

 

bselirio

So it has been two weeks since I miscarried and it still sucks.  My husband and I already had this week booked off to go on a trip to visit friends.  We decided to still go on the trip to get away and spend some time together.  Before the miscarriage, we had plans to tell our friends about the pregnancy while we were on this trip.  As nice as it is to see our friends, I feel awful knowing that we were going tell people that we were pregnant and now we are not pregnant.  Since none of our friends knew that we were pregnant, none of them know about the miscarriage and I am so surprised that no one has even noticed how down I am.  I planned to let our friends know about the miscarriage at the right time but it hasn?t happened yet.  I was hoping that this trip would be a chance to clear my head and reconnect with my husband but I still feel so sad and I think that it?s going to take longer than I expected to feel like myself again.

 

Thank you everyone for their support and sharing their stories.  I am so sorry for your losses.  This board has been such a great help during a very hard time.  Lots of hugs to all of you!