Don't know if I can do this...long

mothling

I'm 18 weeks pregnant with my second, and DS will be 11 months old on Friday. They will be 16 months apart. This was planned and I've always wanted to have my kids close together, but I'm so discouraged right now.

I lost my temper this morning and was rough with DS. It was 6am, which is about an hour earlier than he usually gets up, but NOT unreasonable, I know. DS was crawling around while DH got ready and I laid in bed. DH said something complaining about how the laundry wasn't folded (completely reasonable because it's been clean for days and just sitting in the hamper...I should have folded it by now). DS was whining, and I flipped out -- jumped out of bed, picked DS up really fast and stormed into his room and put him down not-so-gently on his changing table. I wasn't trying to hurt him and didn't hurt him, but I know I was being rough and I'm sure he picked up on it.

I'm terrified, because if I lose it over nothing when I've had a reasonable amount of sleep, what's going to happen when I'm not sleeping at all and having to take care of two babies?! I'm so scared of not giving both of them what they need and also being able to take care of DH and the house like I need to....I feel so small compared to this huge task.

Thanks for letting me vent.

katiefyd84

I'm also pregnant with my second. My babies will be 22 months apart. Please don't beat yourself up so much. There are going to be days when you just have to take a deep breath and count to 10. There have been many days throughout this pregnancy where I've been pushed to my limit and don't know if I am going to make it! The fact that you're mindful of this is enough to tell me that you're already a great mom and will be able to get through your pregnancy and when your new baby comes.

 

Scout1218

My babies are 16 months apart too, and I was very nervous/anxious about bringing home DS and adjusting to life with 2 small children.  The thought of 2u2 was so much worse than the reality has been.  We all have our moments when we're not blissed out, happy mamas.  It's normal.  I can tell you from experience though that the good days far outnumber the bad. 

Relax, breathe and know that what you're going through is perfectly normal.  It will be just fine though.  You'll cope, you'll figure out how to care for 2 children, and though life will be difficult, it will be amazing. 

Big hugs, mama.

12bailey18

I don't have any advice because I am also pg with #2 and my LO's will be 19 months apart. I just wanted you to know you are NOT alone. I have definitely been where you are and I do get scared sometimes that I won't be able to handle to LO's.

seaturtle19

just wanted to say hang in there....I have lost my temper and yelled at LO b/c I am stressed, pg and tired!  it happens and we feel terrible but you will be fine.  I have a lot of anxiety about LO #2 as well but just keep your head up and try to stay positive....once you have that new LO at home with your other LO- things will fall into place.....at least i am hoping they do!!

kelleighxnicole

I started feeling like this when I entered the 'home stretch', the final weeks of my pregnancy with DS. 

My DD is a very independent toddler, she's very vocal, very inquisitive, and just all around a great baby. The only downfall is the temper tantrums, which aren't very frequent ; but when they happen - they are bad. I found being pregnant, and very far along at that, super hard with her getting like that, and I lost it quite a few times. I would yell & say things that I knew she had no idea what I was even talking about, lol. I think sometimes when we snap at our LOs that we're really talking to ourselves and not them, we're just venting and need SOMEONE to hear it ; who better than someone who has no idea what we're saying and better yet can't respond? I always feel bad when I get fed up, as if I don't have a right to. I get very upset and beat myself up for hours, even though DD has long forgotten the incident.

Now that I am not pregnant I find things much easier, actually. Even having the 2u2 home with me, I find myself less frustrated and hormonal.

 

My advice is to just  write things down or talk to your baby's father about it. Tell him how you're feeling and that it's gotten to the point you're feeling negative about your own parenting, and are nervous about the future. The more help you get with LO#1 while pregnant, the more you can enjoy your pregnancy and not snap.

rena5498

I had that feeling and i remember in the beg of this preg I used to snap on DS every now and then it was like he was testing me sometimes lol but even though this pregnancy has been hard I think in the beg I was just really hormonal and tired but now I have learned to just take a deep breath. now its just hard to move lol and DS isnt so bad. Its so hurtful when you see their cute faces crying and they are even more upset because they know you are mad them and they just dont understand why. So things will get easier eventually.

3/05bride

I don't have my 2nd yet (but they are expected to be 17 mos apart) but I have seen several moms on this board say taking care of LO and being pregnant was harder than taking care of 2U2.  Pregnancy hormones are crazy and even if you are getting less sleep with a newborn than as a pregnant lady, I know I am way more exhausted while pregnant than I was taking care of my newborn

I say don't stress yourself out about getting housework done either.  We all are just doing the best we can. 

If you feel overwhelmed when you have your kids and you are concerned about your reaction, you can always put each kid in his/her crib and walk away for a few minutes to catch your breath. 

WhitePicketFence

Please don't beat yourself up too much. I think all of us here have felt overwhelmed and lost our temper at one point or another. Being pregnant with another young child at home, especially one under age 1, is extremely difficult. I've had some rough days this pregnancy as well and my kids will be 19 months apart.

HUGS!

amc_banana

I just wanted to say...you are def. not alone! I feel the same fears and have those kinds of days with DS at home and wondered what will happen when LO#2 comes. (Mine will be 15 months apart). Just take a deep breath.

3PupsAndABaby

i have been there more times than i'd like and have broken down wondering how the hell i'm going to do it. when you feel like you're going to break down or hurt (or be rough) with DC, put DC in his/her crib and walk away. let them cry. it's ok for you to cry too.. you'll think about everything and will have a clear head then

JoannaJes

I agree, being pregnant with a LO was harder for me, than actually having 2U2. I know it can be frustrating. The best you can do in those situations is take a little time out. Both of you will probably be better for it. Don't try and predict what the future will be like with two kids, just deal with the present.