POLL: Who helps you the most

tmbuchmann

Just curious who is/was the most helpful to you, maybe while you're on bedrest, or your babies are still really little, or they are running in every direction?

"I couldn't have done this without...."

tmbuchmann

For me, I couldn't be doing this without my wonderful DH and my mom. DH did everything while I was on bedrest and now I take the twins and he does everything with DS#1. My mom helps me out with the twins by letting them stay the night at her house so we can get some sleep occasionally.

amanda31H

Definitely my husband. Hands down. 

My Mom was a super big help...but I think I'd have to give second place to my sister!  She is married, but has no kids and was AMAZING.  I expected my Mom to be great, but I had no expectations really for my sister because she doesn't have kids.  She'd come and sleep over so DH could get a full night of sleep and sleep in my bed with me, and do all the soothing so all I would have to do is nurse the babies and go back to sleep- this all when they were like 3 weeks old- 8 weeks old. 

She would clean my house, do the laundry, and send DH and I out at night for an hour by ourselves- even as early as 4 weeks in!  She worked part-time.  She had been laid off from her second part-time job a few months before the girls were born.

She was amazing.  As a result my girls are VERY close with her and there is nothing like when "Auntie" comes over.  It's really great.

AlishaMay

DH for sure!!!  When I was on bed rest, he did everything around here - cooked, cleaned, shopped, laundry, you name it!  On top of it, he had to remodel the nursery after a leak in the roof, and finish off some small projects around the house.  He was and still is truly amazing!

My mom is also a close second, as was my older brother who was working as a NICU nurse (at a different hospital) while my girls were NICU.  Without them I would have gone insane!

AlishaMay

amanda31H:

Definitely my husband. Hands down. 

My Mom was a super big help...but I think I'd have to give second place to my sister!  She is married, but has no kids and was AMAZING.  I expected my Mom to be great, but I had no expectations really for my sister because she doesn't have kids.  She'd come and sleep over so DH could get a full night of sleep and sleep in my bed with me, and do all the soothing so all I would have to do is nurse the babies and go back to sleep- this all when they were like 3 weeks old- 8 weeks old. 

She would clean my house, do the laundry, and send DH and I out at night for an hour by ourselves- even as early as 4 weeks in!  She worked part-time.  She had been laid off from her second part-time job a few months before the girls were born.

She was amazing.  As a result my girls are VERY close with her and there is nothing like when "Auntie" comes over.  It's really great.

That's awesome!!!!

pea-kay

My mom, for sure. (I don't want to say my husband, because he wasn't "helping" me, he was doing it with me. My mom helped BOTH of us. She'd do the laundry and the dishes and cook. And she'd take all of the night feedings by herself so we could sleep. (I still had to pump, but at least I was able to get some sleep!)

I just wish she could have stayed longer. She'd come for a few days here and there for the first couple of months. 

Temp6313048411121614

Other than DH, my IL's.  DH works FT so when I needed someone to watch them in the afternoon for any reason (Dr. appt, going to lunch with a friend, they're being monsters) IL's are almost always more than happy to take them for a few hours.  When I was on BR they watched DS1 everyday. 

amanda31H

AlishaMay:

amanda31H:

Definitely my husband. Hands down. 

My Mom was a super big help...but I think I'd have to give second place to my sister!  She is married, but has no kids and was AMAZING.  I expected my Mom to be great, but I had no expectations really for my sister because she doesn't have kids.  She'd come and sleep over so DH could get a full night of sleep and sleep in my bed with me, and do all the soothing so all I would have to do is nurse the babies and go back to sleep- this all when they were like 3 weeks old- 8 weeks old. 

She would clean my house, do the laundry, and send DH and I out at night for an hour by ourselves- even as early as 4 weeks in!  She worked part-time.  She had been laid off from her second part-time job a few months before the girls were born.

She was amazing.  As a result my girls are VERY close with her and there is nothing like when "Auntie" comes over.  It's really great.

That's awesome!!!!

Yeah, it really is.  We were always very close, but we are even closer now. It was a very cool thing.

SouthSeasBride

DH and a close second would be my mom

tSquared1987

While I was on bedrest, definately DH. He waited on me hand and foot Now is a completely different story lol Tage's godmommy (my BFF) has been amazing and so has my SIL (who just happens to be my other BFF).

leslie13510

When I was pregnant: My mom.  DH was deployed for almost the entire pregnancy (shocker, I know LOL), and even though my parents lived 3 hours away, my mom came up almost every weekend, and even some weeks in between, once I was on bedrest.  She did my laundry, cleaned my house, went with me to some doctor's appointments, stayed with me when I was in the hospital getting my cerclage, and was just a life saver.  I had great friends there that were helpful as well, but they had lives and kids of their own and could only do so much.  Plus there's just nothing like having your mom around when you're "sick" and need help. 

L&D: My BFF.  I really don't know what I would have done without her.  DH was great and all, but let's face it he knew NOTHING about giving birth.  Once my epi failed and I was dealing with contraction on top of contraction with no relief (with no breaks between thanks to the pit), and completely awful back labor, it was BFF who talked me through it and kept me from being just a sobbing, hysterical puddle on the bed. 

The first 17 months: DH.  No questioning that.  The first year was easily one of the worst years for our marriage, he is the best father I have ever known.  If he hadn't stepped up from day one, and been just as much of a parent as I am, our marriage almost definitely would not have survived the stress of reintegrating from a deployment AND having two newborns.  He's just so involved with the kids.  When he's home he knows their daily routines as well as I do, he can pack a diaper bag with the best of them, he could keep track of what foods they had when better than I could, he gets up with them on weekends to let me sleep... he's just an amazing father.

The last 8+ months: A combination of my parents, his parents, BFF, a few other good friends in the area, and the daycare center on post.    Honestly, I think the 16 hours I can put them in hourly care for free each month are the biggest help of all. 

katsblaze

While on bedrest my DH for sure. The only thing I did was fold laundry when he brought it to me. Otherwise, he did everything else.

Now other than DH, my mom. She takes care of the boys while we work, and has taught them so much.  They love her to pieces. It is great when I get home and she tells me that besides having fun with the boys, she has vacuumed, done dishes, and the boys laundry it puts a huge smile on my face.  DH and I couldn't have done it without her.  Well I am sure we could have, but she has just been amazing.

benkari

My mom!  She spent so many nights in the hospital with me when DH was home doing chemo and several days helping with the babies at home while I was at the NICU.  Since we have been home she has spent nights, helped with cleaning, helped out financially before DH was able to return to work and is always there for us!