School-Aged Children
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chores during the week
Do your children do chores during the week or only weekends or both? We have not enforced weekly chores for our oldest DD during the week yet because she gets soo much homework but am curious to see what others do. She does make her bed and tidy up her room daily but I am referring more to things like dishes, trash, dusting... I am a SAHM so most things I take care of anyway but DH wants the kids to start taking on more responsibility and learning how to do more things. I can agree with that but not sure how to fit it in.
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Re: chores during the week
During the week DS helps unload the dishwasher. he's good at putting away the silverware and his cups/plates/bowls. I also ask that they bring their own dirty dishes to the sink. Depending on how bad it is, they will clean up the living room if their toys are out of control. But, I agree, we're pretty busy as it is.
On the weekend, they help sort and load laundry (their choice, not mine) and we clean up the playroom and bedrooms. That's about it for now.
We haven't done chores -- the kids are just expected to be generally helpful with tidying up, setting and clearing the table, and things like that.
My 9 yr old doesn't have set chores but he is expected to help out when asked. He also earns $5 a week allowance for this. He does things like get the mail, feed the dog, clean up toys in the living room (usually from his little sister), clear the table after dinner, switch over the laundry....
He's capable of pretty much anything in the house.
My SD who is 8 -- turning 9 in July has really a very limited amount of chores
which is feeding the dogs and folding her clothes
both are very easy -- but we have to remind her and sometimes fight (mostly just the folding clothes) -- but we won't do them for her.
My 14 yr old DD does the dishes and general kitchen cleaning (pots/pans wiping of counters, sweeps floor) (her choice) and she takes out recycling. She also keeps her room and does her own laundry.
My 11yr old DS collects and takes out trash, sets/clears table and is in charge of family room tidying. Also does his own laundry and keeps his room.
They both help weekly cleaning bathrooms and vaccuuming.
They don't get an allowance per se b/c they are part of the household and required to help in the running of the household as well as the benefits of the household such as money for movies with friends or having friends over...etc.
Is this daily? Do you get alot of critisism for not giving them allowance?
The kitchen/dishes, sets/clears table is daily. Recycling is once a week, Trash is 2x a week. Family room tidy is as necessary can be daily or ever other day depending. Laundry and thier own rooms as necessary but usually works out once a week or every two.
I've never gotten cristicism for not giving them an allowance. They get perks like they get special outings or if one of them is running errands with me or my H we may allow the random special purchase. If my DD needs money to buy a ticket to a dance, it's happily given. I don't think it is necessary for them to have a little bankroll. It's part of being a household. They've been doing these types of chores for years b/c i've been a single working mom since 2002 and I only remarried last summer. If they wanted to anything w/ me on the weekends they had to help w/ age appropriate chores during the week so we could enjoy our relax time together.
If they said wanted to earn extra cash for something they really wanted to save up for, then they can do over an above like re organize the basement or tend garden and we negoicate a price and I'd pay them.
My DD is just starting to take on couponing for me. She's really interested in the extreme couponing movement. It was her idea, and she knows that anything we save w/ groceries goes to do fun things together or to help pay for her horseback riding lessons or showing fees.
DH & I feel pretty strongly that contributing to household responsibilities are part of raising a successful family. We don't call them chores, or give an allowance like our parents did. And school and extracurricular (arts & sports) commitments take priority. DD (8) enjoys helping with the dogs, dishes and gardening when she can and is asked to straighten her bedroom and bring her dirty laundry to the washroom on the weekends. Recently, she has been helping me fold & put away her own laundry. DH considers feeding the dogs her responsibility. But that's the extent of her obligations.
I think you can teach children how to do new things just by including them, without needing to make them solely responsible for the task. IMO, it becomes less authoritative and promotes good quality time (including conversation) when you work together to care for the family. Before you know it, they'll be capable of doing everything you can (by example, instead of the fastest way to get it done to get back to playing), willing to put in the effort without resentment, and confident enough to take the initiative to do it on their own. To a child, increased responsibilities don't necessarily mean increased trust or love from a parent. Just more work & less fun. Nor does it always result in a more responsible child.
That said. That's not how my parents did it. And I turned out fine.
Life in the Making
We also offer jobs (extensive yard work, garage organizing, car washing, etc) for a negotiated price when DD is saving for a specific item and she doesn't have an upcoming birthday or holiday to request it. We will usually ask her what amount she thinks is fair for the task, and pay her based on her performance (sometimes more, rarely less). She's gotten pretty good at estimating a fair price depending on the amount of work required. Most jobs range from $5 to $10 and take anywhere from 30 minutes to 2 hours (tops) to complete.
Also, we decided early on not to pay her hourly, because we are trying to teach her time management and problem solving skills. Time is money, and if you work smart, your time can be very valuable. Even at 8.
Life in the Making