hospital visitors

GLMatthys

Dh is one of those guys that thinks that there is nothing special about visiting the new baby at the hospital, and would rather not have anyone visit there at all, his opinion is that it is for healing and resting, come when we get home.  I am so torn on this because on one hand, he is the one that is able to leave the hospital as he pleases and see the outside world, but on the other hand, I REALLY don't want kids there.  I don't mind adults, but I have one friend that will surely bring her, her DH, and her 3 kids (7, 3, 1) and my brother and SIL who will bring my nephews (8, 4, 3) and this isn't something that I am sure I am up for.  But, Feeling spineless, I dont know that I can come up with the right words to ask for no kid visitors, so I will probably not say anything then have to deal with the consequences. 

Part of me wants to talk to the mother/baby nurses and ask them to enforce the "only visitors under the age of 12 must be siblings" rule.  To eliminate me ever-so-quietly from the equation. 

Part of me wants to suggest inviting guests (specifically these two families) to our home over the following weekend to meet the baby.  Which isn't something that I want to deal with but at least there is room there for the kids to be kids. 

I just don't know.  What would you do?

Gina418

I would call and check your hospital's visitation policy. Many hospitals do not allow underage visitors (besides siblings) in the maternity unit.

Nanna

I would invite those families over to your home for once you are settled.  Trying to keep kids out of trouble in a hospital room is a job!  So, I would "schedule" those families to come see you once you are home, letting them know you'd prefer not to have guests while recovering at the hospital.  Then make sure your nurses know your wishes about visitors so they can help run interference with any unexpected guests.

GLMatthys

They do have that rule, but it isn't strictly enforced.  Which is why I have considered giving the nurses a heads up that I don't want underage visitors...  Hoping this will let them know it is ok to tell people that.  Or maybe if I were to remind these families of the rule, that they would get the hint, even if I suggested "id hate for you to get over here with the kids and for them to not be allowed in"??

anniegirl1

Gina418:

I would call and check your hospital's visitation policy. Many hospitals do not allow underage visitors (besides siblings) in the maternity unit.

This!  My hospital doesn't allow anyone under 14 to visit unless they are a sibling.

Gina418

GLMatthys:

They do have that rule, but it isn't strictly enforced.  Which is why I have considered giving the nurses a heads up that I don't want underage visitors...  Hoping this will let them know it is ok to tell people that.  Or maybe if I were to remind these families of the rule, that they would get the hint, even if I suggested "id hate for you to get over here with the kids and for them to not be allowed in"??

In that case, I would make it a point to say to the nurses that you do not want any children visiting - let them know that you have some pushy family/friends and want to make sure they don't get a pass!

ITGurl0626

If it is a hospital rule to not have underage children, I would speak to the nurses & ask them to enforce it for you.  I personally am not a fan of potentially germy kids coming to see me & the baby in the hospital.  Lucky for me my DH is on board with me and understands I don't want a whole bunch of people coming in and out of my hospital room.  I am also lucky that I don't have overbearing relatives, so if I tell them to wait until I get home - they won't be offended.

tarak1111

I would just let them know "Just an FYI - No Children are allowed besides siblings"..

What I did with DS and just yesterday actually for this LO was send an email to the friends/family that I know want to come visit at the hospital.. I gave them directions to the hospital, parking instructions and visiting hours and information.. Maybe you could do something similar???

luvdv8

GLMatthys:

They do have that rule, but it isn't strictly enforced.  Which is why I have considered giving the nurses a heads up that I don't want underage visitors...  Hoping this will let them know it is ok to tell people that.  Or maybe if I were to remind these families of the rule, that they would get the hint, even if I suggested "id hate for you to get over here with the kids and for them to not be allowed in"??

This. I would be super pissed if I loaded all my kids into a car and drove all the way to a hospital to go see my new niece/nephew only to be turned away at the door. Be upfront about not wanting children at the hospital and schedule some time with them. It's hard to get kids dressed and ready to get out of the house, especially younger ones, and it's better that you just let them know when to come so it isn't a waste of time for them.

BJKL

Just one thought...usually when people come to the hospital they don't stay long whereas at your house they might feel free to hang out for an extended period.  I always prefer that hard to handle people come to the hospital so I don't have to entertain them at my house.  Plus you can ask the nurses to remind them to let you rest which can cut the visits shorter ;-)

brichie

BJKL:

Just one thought...usually when people come to the hospital they don't stay long whereas at your house they might feel free to hang out for an extended period.  I always prefer that hard to handle people come to the hospital so I don't have to entertain them at my house.  Plus you can ask the nurses to remind them to let you rest which can cut the visits shorter ;-)

This! Although I have a few people who would stay at the hospital longer anyways, its nicer to handle them in small doses. Once you get home you might just want to relax.

yesthisiskim

My hospitals policy is no children under 12 can visit (unless it's siblings) and I am beyond thankful for this policy. If you really don't want to play hostess when you and LO get home (and who can blame you!!), you really need to talk to DH. It would be so much easier when you're at the hospital because heaven forbid somebody comes by that you don't want holding your baby you can send LO to the nursery to avoid the situation all together. I'm hoping more people visit us in teh hospital than at home.

You need to do what you feel is right for you and LO and stick to your guns. GL!!

babyhardebeck

My hospitals policy is no one under 14 siblings included.  We are also taking that rule home with us for a few days because I have a cousin who has 3 kids 7,5, and 2 and the last time they were at my house they destroyed it.  She doesn't watch them and I don't trust her to not bring them.  I am pretty type A and I don't want to have to worry about other people's kids when I am trying to learn how to care for mine.  I would just tell your nurses and tell your family the rule.  If they don't get the hint, you will still have the nurses to back you up.

BalletPink81

BJKL:

Just one thought...usually when people come to the hospital they don't stay long whereas at your house they might feel free to hang out for an extended period.  I always prefer that hard to handle people come to the hospital so I don't have to entertain them at my house.  Plus you can ask the nurses to remind them to let you rest which can cut the visits shorter ;-)

 

This is my thought exactly!  I would rather have visitors in the hospital, because they won't stay long, and I don't have to entertain them.  I think that once I get home, I will really just want some time to settle in with the baby, and not worry about lots of visitors for the first couple weeks.