I need to be b!tch slapped

kimb311

I need you guys to put me back in my place. I am acting like the chickies on the May/tri boards....

Long stroy kinda short. A few months ago I decided to NOT have a baby shower. Family all lives far away, money is tight for a lot of them (as everyone) and asking people to travel, get a hotel room and a gift just didn't sit well with me. So I put word out that it was cancelled. Well, all hell broke open and everybody WANTED to come, are you sure? blah blah blah. So I backed off and let my friend throw one.

 Feeling guilty like I did, I got ahold of the people that have the condo below us. We live at the beach and they use their place as a rental. Asking them if we could rent the place for the weekend. They were awsome and agreed, in fact not charging us, just asking that we pay for a cleaning service. WooHoo! Great 200 buck vs. like 800. We decided that WE would pay for the place and let family stay there for free, since they would be traveling (gas/tolls etc) I was also planning on stocking the fridge for them with basics. And having people at our place for dinner and breakfast so they wouldn't have to spend money.

For the past week I see them all "talking " on FB about new reasons why they won't be able to make it. Stuupid reasons. The last one today is that is MIGHT snow on Friday. They aren't leaving until Saturday. The shower is sat afternoon. I lost it. I feel like I have done so much to get them here, spent so much money and they just don't want to come. Which is fine, but the whole effin reason I changed my mind to have a stupid shower was because they wanted to come!!!

I know I am being a brat and a baby and should just go join all the ungrateful little girls on the other board, but damn people. All I want is for some honest communication. If you didn't want to come, no problem! Its all the game playing and bullcrap that has me upset. UUUGGGHHHHHHH

Ebeth_in_ATL

OMG... I'd be mental by now if I was dealing with that.  I'm pissed off for you. 

kristennd

I don't think you're being unreasonable at all. You -- very reasonably -- tried to cancel the shower originally and they got all fussy. And now they're backing out. I'd be pissed too. Not because of missing out on a shower but because they pulled some power trip crap to make you waste all that time and energy when you have much more important things to deal with.

mcwhittaker

You are totally within your rights to be pissed about it. 

They pressured you into a shower (which my family also tried to do, btw). I stood my ground and said no, despite my mother literally crying about it. Like I was robbing her of some right to show off in front of her friends that she's going to be a grandmother.

Anyway, they bullied you into it they at least need to show up. And frankly, a facebook status update does not equal a phone call saying "i'm really sorry but i'm not going to be able to make it after all"

It's one thing for a legitimate reason to come up and call and say "i'm really sorry I feel really bad about it but, I can't make it". It's another to post a facebook message and try to cop out of your commitment.

It sounds to me like they could show up totally without gifts, it was the fact that they were coming that was important.  

 

 

miafromab

Sorry Seriously you don't need that stress but you did need the money you've already now had to put out. I don't think your being bratty I think it was bratty of them to whine/guilt you into doing this and they get their way now are not coming with no real excuse.

Vincent

I don't think you sound like the May and 3rd-tri board at all.  I can't think the way they do but there'd be more drama in their posts.  Something like the older sister wants to bring her husband and boyfriend and a combination of their 6 kids to the shower. 

Regarding your post, I'd be upset because it sounds like they weighed you down into changing your mind and when you did to accommodate them they changed their minds in not coming.   I?ll be thinking of you on Saturday and sending positive vibes to you during your shower.  My shower is Sunday and hopefully we won?t have any May/3^rd tri board drama.  

 

kimb311

Thanks Ladies! Gotta love family, right? I'm shaking it off. Screw em. Less for me to do/worry about. I'm a little OCD and was dreading all the cleaning and cooking I would end up doing for 8 extra people at my house for the weekend anyway. Blessing in disguise. I could use the money back from the cleaning service that we put down. I was laid off a year ago and we are living off of one paycheck. But lesson learned, I guess. Now, to deal with all the in fighting this shower planning  has apparently caused with my friends. Honestly, how old are we?!  LOL can we just do a bumb shower for all of us? anyone live in near NJ?

Oh Vincent, Have fun at your shower on Sunday! Fingers will be crossed that all goes smooth for you!

LauraLynneC

I'm Team Kim on this one... you're not being unreasonable, just the opposite. And cancelling via FB?  Hello Junior High....*sigh*

 

JilliansMoma

No B-Slapping needed if you ask my opinion.  I think you are being very considerate of your family and they are not thinking of you.  To be pregnant and hosting is a lot of work.  To pay for their lodging is going above and beyond.  It sounds like your family needs to get it together and talk to you about it!!

GL, JM