18 month old - Poss. of ADD? Terrible Two's Already? Advice, please!

CanadianJulyBri

I've heard people say a mom knows when things aren't right with their kid. Well, I don't think my LO is "normal" or "average" for her age. I keep looking at other kids that are 1.5 and they are so much more calm and cool...

Mine won't sit still for a second, not even for TV, or to look at a book with me, or to play. She doesn't yet stack blocks (no patience), she just destroys the tower I build. She is whining constantly and says 'no' a lot. She is clingy, wants my attention CONSTANTLY, but then when I'm playing with her or interacting with her, she's in a "phase" (which has already lasted WAY too long), where she'll keep hitting me, or pulling my hair or pinching the fat on my leg or arm. It is PHYSICALLY PAINFUL to be with her for these reasons and not to mention the EMOTIONAL HURT that I constantly feel... I've tried everything to correct this behavior (short of hitting her back - which many friends have suggested at this point!!!) and I'm so short on patience and hope. It's become to the point where I almost dread spending time with her because it's so hard on me.

I was reading the What to Expect in Toddler Years book and there is a part on ADD and LO matches several of the traits...about being super demanding, not sitting still, whining, and hitting.

Any advice is appreciated. Thank you!!!

PiRSquared330

any doc who diagnoses your child at that age is nuts. Some do diagnose that early, but its not standard and I wouldn't trust anyone who does.

 

I know its hard, but if you really do think its ADD, you just have to wait. Its nothing to freak out about. I have a verry extreme case (I've been studied, lol, because of it) and I've led a very productive life.

Linz29

It could be a sensory issue.  A friend of mine has and LO with sensory issues and it is like you are describing.  They have Occupational Therapy 3 times per week and it is reall helping her.  Talk to your Pedi.

DEBBIE33CASEY

Will your DD do these things with others?  Will she sit and read books or play with them or is she also violent with others (all ages?).  I don't have any personal experience with ADD but I do believe that we moms know when something doesn't seem normal.

If you haven't talked to your pedi yet, do so.  They usually have checklists you can go through to see what is "normal" for kids to be doing at certain ages and you can see if she's missing milestones from there.  There's also a service in the county I live in where you can have a nurse/social worker come to your house to do an assesment (and you don't have to be "under-priviledged financially" to get a free visit). Usually a home visit gives a person a clearer indication of how a child acts since it's in their usual environment. 

I hope some of those suggestions help- you're certainly doing the right thing by looking into this if things don't seem normal to you. And that's the most important first step!

dunvilles

I don't know about ADD in small children but this sounds a lot like our cousins little girl. She is 6 now and does not stop, has more energy than the other kids, and acts like she is "driven by a motor".

Some things you can do are:

• Turn off all music/tv
• take your LO somewhere and let her run around and get out some energy (gymnastics center, back yard, park etc)
• Rotate toys, put a lot back and then have several options to choose. Switch these every 1-3 weeks.
• Make sure you have a routine

I'm sorry you are going through this and hopefully it will get better soon! what is your normal day like? Do you stay home with your Lo?

Todd&Laura

I definitely think that you should talk to your pediatrician.  If you don't get support there, look for another doctor (and by support, I don't mean a diagnosis--I mean help!!).  An ADD diagnosis at this age seems crazy to me, too.  I would be curious about a sensory issue.  

I agree with PP re: TV.  I have seen other LOs who get a lot of TV exposure and I see similar behaviors.  You didn't say much re: TV, so I'm not sure if this is an issue for you, but just in case.  

MrsBreezer80

Linz29:

It could be a sensory issue.  A friend of mine has and LO with sensory issues and it is like you are describing.  They have Occupational Therapy 3 times per week and it is reall helping her.  Talk to your Pedi.

This is what I was thinking too. I would definately talk to your pedi. Sorry you're going thru this

dragon_chica

PiRSquared330:

any doc who diagnoses your child at that age is nuts. Some do diagnose that early, but its not standard and I wouldn't trust anyone who does.

This.  It's like typing in your symptoms online and then thinking you have cancer.  I teach first grade and we are very leery about testing kids for ADD because a lot of times it's just maturity and in a year or more things tend to even out.  Not saying this is you, but so many parents are so quick to diagnose their kids to have an explanation for why their child is behaving the way they are.  By saying, "Oh it's because he/she has ADD" and then people nod sympathetically seems to make the parents feel better.  Ditto the others about overstimulation and just having a chat with your pedi.

rcollier_17

I have a friend who works with the neurological side of children. She's paid to go to peoples houses and observe their children and then teach the children correct ways to play and interact. Some times it's something more than just what can be taught but the majority of the time she's able to refocus the children to help their play become constructive and give parents the tools to know how to interact with their children in a way that will benefit both of them. I believe most of the children are 2-5 years and a lot of them have been misdiagnosed as having ADD. 

Also, I don't mean this at all to come down on you or blame you at all, but my friend says she's constantly surprised at what parents allow and how they respond to their children misbehaving. She doesn't blame them, because she says they obviously can't see what they don't know, but that's why she's there. Sometimes it's really easy things that the parents can change and other times it takes a lot more work, but most of the parents are always shocked when they get her view on what the underlying problems (and solutions) are.

All this to say, definitely talk to your doctor and see if there's something like this in your area. A lot of the parents get financial assistance too.

Hope it all turns out ok for you and you don't go batty before then!

g8trkim

There is no way to diagnose it this young, and I would run from any doctor who does. Unfortunately, it's something you may have to deal with for awhile until she's older and you can decided whether it's actually a phase or their is a behavioral issue.

CanadianJulyBri

Thanks for your comments. I'd like to answer a few of the questions that came up.

We rarely have the TV on...

I stay home with her 4 days out of 7. Other days she is with grandparents who never have an issue with her and spend every moment entertaining her. 

MegGary

Talk with your pedi. Sounds like sensory to me. My BFF son was diagnosed this & get OT 3 times a week at daycare. If you feel like there is something not right, seek help. If there is nothing wrong than you'll know. Good luck. 

law8296

You definitely have some valid concerns and I can't imagine the exhaustion and frustration you must be feeling.  Like some of the other posters mentioned- contact your pediatrition for a specific visit to discuss only this.  And here's my bias: while pediatricians are the experts on children- a good one will tell you that when considering a mental health-related diagnosis, they will refer out to a mental health professional for further assessment and advice/suggestion.  Same goes for a referral to something such as occupational therapy or behavioral analyst services.

Here's something to keep in mind: often changing or altering behaviors of your child involve changing behaviors of the parents'--which can be equally time-consuming and something that has to take a full committment.  Sounds like that won't be a problem for you, as you seem very concerned and definitely committed to your child's success.

Tonya_G

FTR, my son is Dx'd with ADHD, and at your daughter's age, he could sit and listen to a story. He was more aggressive than other kiddos- his phases took longer for him to get out of than typical kiddos. He had a horrible biting phase that lasted from about 2 until 2 1/2.

We didn't even begin to think about getting him dx'd until just recently. He got kicked out of one preschool b/c they said they couldn't meet his needs. The second preschool we put him in are saints, b/c his behaviors are very trying. It's been almost 2 years since he got kicked out of PS and we started to really realize something was up.

We've tried everything in the book to deal with and cope with his behaviors without medication- but after 3 years of watchful waiting, we knew it was time to get him medicated before he started Kindergarden next fall, so that he wouldn't start school with the stigma of being a "bad kid".

Now is not the time to get a dx. Toddlers are impulsive, demanding critters. Give her a chance to mature and grow out of it- girls are more likely to do so earlier than boys. If you put her in preschool, and she has a really difficult time adjusting to the demands of her teachers and getting along with her peers, get documentation from her teachers, and speak with your pedi. But toddlerhood is NOT the time to worry about ADHD.