How does Sept feel about 2nd showers?

lily87

I think you are going to know my response already, but I think they are in poor taste. Definite no no. The only time is is "ok" is maybe if you work somewhere new, and no one there went to the shower for the first baby. But, if these are people who went to the first one, then absolutely not. That said, I always give a gift for when my friends' babies are born, no matter how many there are. I just do it when I meet the baby.

Geekchick921

TheFannins729:

I think they are a bit on the tacky side.  That said, if my mom came to be begging to throw me a shower for this baby, I wouldn't want to be rude and say no either.  So, I'd probably agree to a sip n see or something for after the baby is here. 

Agreed 100%.  I think I'd rather have a welcome the baby mini-shower where I just got seasonally appropriate clothes and if necessary, some boyish towels and sheets.

Oh, and diapers.

mrsmikey

ally2011:

mrsmikey:

Where I live, it's perfectly acceptable, and very common to have an all out shower with 2nd and 3rd babies, just like it is the 1st, regardless of the situation.  I had never even heard of it being taboo until I came to the nest/bump.  I've already had more than one person mention throwing me a shower for this baby. 

I am in NC also and most of the people I know would probably say no to a second shower.  I tend to agree, though depending on the person and her friends and their feelings it might be fine.  I guess if they were really far a part that might make a difference.  I am not sure really...how's that for not helpful?

Interesting.  Are most of the people you know from NC originally?  I think there are so many imports here it's hard to say what's truly regional, kwim?  Although some of the very friends that mentioned throwing me a shower are from up North, so my point may be moo

TheFannins729

fwiw, i'm from the south.  most of my friends are born and raised in the south.  they would be appalled at the thought of a second shower.

SusieBW

Mereou12:

IMO, they're horribly tacky, except in extreme circumstances (6+ years between kids, all baby gear lost in a fire, etc). I even find the idea of a sprinkle a bit obnoxious...but I guess it depends on your group of friends.

To have a second shower simply because you're having a baby of the opposite sex is the *worst* reason. We purposely bought the big items in gender neutral patterns.

This, except I think that "sprinkles" and "meet the baby" parties are just slightly veiled gift grabs, too, and therefore equally tacky. The whole tradition of bridal and baby showers is sort of tacky, IMO, but it's a tradition.  While I hate actually attending them, I love giving people gifts, so I'm okay with it - it's just when it gets out of hand (second showers, "greenback" showers, or throwing a shower for yourself) that my etiquette red flag goes up.

Actually, I don't really even understand what a "sprinkle" is, as I had never heard of that until a couple of weeks ago when DH told me that his mom's friends were having one for a woman they work with for her second child.  Isn't it really just a small shower?  It's still a shower, IMO.  To each his own, and I guess if people want to get together and get someone a gift, that's a very nice gesture, but why does it have to have such a lame name attached to it?  Why can't you just get someone a gift and leave it at that?  If you're sending invitations to others, inviting them to attend this "sprinkle," then really, it's a shower, as gifts are expected, right?

Similarly, if you're inviting people over to "meet the baby," whether you expect people to bring gifts or not, they're all going to feel obligated to bring something, so I feel like you're asking for gifts.  But maybe this is just me.  I've never known anyone to have "meet the baby" parties - it's just not done with my group of friends and family, I guess.  So I'm not at all familiar with it, I'm just throwing in my $.02 opinion.

Geekchick921

Mereou12:

To have a second shower simply because you're having a baby of the opposite sex is the *worst* reason. We purposely bought the big items in gender neutral patterns.

So did we.  Our high chair, swing, bouncer, exersaucer, playmat, infant seat, pack n play and stroller are all in gender neutral colors and patterns.  The only big things I can think of that I want for this baby are a new crib and an Ergo, which we're planning on buying ourselves (unless the ILs or my mom offer).

But damn I would be happy if people decided to give me some new clothes, towels and fresh bedding.  Some of our stuff is gender neutral but a lot of DD's newborn outfits are full sleeve/leg or fleece because she was born right before Christmas.  It could still be pretty warm in late September. 

I don't expect anyone to offer me a second shower but I wouldn't be surprised if I got some of the aforementioned items from friends and family anyway.

Kml9876

I think that every baby should be celebrated. Not that you have to force people to throw you one, but if your friends and family want to celebrate another baby why not? I know for my friends that have second babies I still buy them gifts, but that is just me. I feel like all babies should be celebrated and get something new.

kandygrl23

In my group of friends, we give each other a "sprinkle" (the dreaded word!)...it's very informal (to the point we bring our kids and it becomes one giant playdate/momfest). It's really just a reason for us to get together with one another for a fun afternoon. We each bring something to eat and there usually isn't a gift involved, with the exception of a couple packs of diapers.

It's funny because my mom just announced she wants to throw me a sprinkle. I would never want another full blown-out shower (registry, fancy restaurant, etc.), but a casual morning with a few women doesn't seem like a huge deal to me. 

Pina

Second showers are tacky and almost seem greedy.  I know if I was invited to someone's I would side eye and judge whether they threw it or not.  My friends all get together and take the mom to be (with #2) out to lunch and all throw in money and get a big gift basket of things the mom would need.  But we as friends chose to do that.  We aren't invited somewhere and made to feel obligated.  I also then bring a gift to the hospital or to the house the first time I see the baby.  2nd showers are never ok in my eyes.

ally2011

mrsmikey:

ally2011:

mrsmikey:

Where I live, it's perfectly acceptable, and very common to have an all out shower with 2nd and 3rd babies, just like it is the 1st, regardless of the situation.  I had never even heard of it being taboo until I came to the nest/bump.  I've already had more than one person mention throwing me a shower for this baby. 

I am in NC also and most of the people I know would probably say no to a second shower.  I tend to agree, though depending on the person and her friends and their feelings it might be fine.  I guess if they were really far a part that might make a difference.  I am not sure really...how's that for not helpful?

Interesting.  Are most of the people you know from NC originally?  I think there are so many imports here it's hard to say what's truly regional, kwim?  Although some of the very friends that mentioned throwing me a shower are from up North, so my point may be moo

Like a cow's opinion....it just doesn't matter.  /Joey

Most are from here....I am.  I think whatever the groups of people are used to/prefer is fine.  If you have people that want to do it and people that think it's fine to attend then party on sister

ShawMich

I agree with previous posts.  Definitely tacky.

Lily.

I actually breathed a gigantic sigh of relief when the shower for my son was over.  Because I was thrilled I would never have to have another shower again in my life.  I hate being the center of attention.  And esp. hate opening gifts in front of people.  So even if they weren't tacky I wouldn't want one.  We were team green and all of our baby gear is unisex. 

My cousin suggested that if we find out it's a girl they should have a pink/diaper shower for me and I shut that down just as quick as she said it. 

There are very few cases where a second shower isn't tacky.  It would have to be extreme circumstances and even still if it were me, I would refuse it.

Enami

I don't see this as tacky at all. I think its awesome to celebrate the coming of any baby, since every baby's an individual and adding a new family member is a big life change. My friend and I "threw" (with the help of our awesome dads) our moms' baby showers for their third kids. My friend's mom had only her for 10 years because she had a lot of fertility issues, then had her two sisters and her brother when my friend was 10, 11, and 16. My mom had my youngest brother when I was 12 after her doctor told her to stop taking b/c because of her age, regardless that she never smoked or had any medical issues. Both our mom's hadn't had showers in over 10 years, and were in their early 40's, and we thought it was super fun. I always felt bad for my other brother, because my mom didn't have shower for him, and I felt like that said they weren't as excited about having him as they were me. I think what's tacky is when you expect gifts, for anything, instead of really getting together to celebrate the baby. This is why I'm debating on creating a registry or not.

bsmead

I dont think they are tacky if done right.

I am the designated party thrower in my group of friends.  (I should also say that I was the first to have a second baby, I was always told second showers were tacky, so i didnt have one.)  After not having one I realized just how much stuff you need for the second baby, EVEN if they are close together and the same sex--things like diapers, bath soaps, onesies(you can ruin lots of onesies each child) mostly necessity items.  So I started throwing "sprinkles" for my friends.  Here were some of the rules that I thought made them less tacky:
   1.) no one registered for anything big- some didnt even register at all, but others did so they could get the 20% off coupons later.
   2.) we only invited CLOSE friends and a few close family-those who would have gotten her something anyway.
   3.) We kept it simple, served awesome food and did lots more visiting than games and other shower hoopla.
   4.) There was no RSVP, people just came if they could.

I am currently pg with twins, my friends are throwing me a shower.  Its really just going to be my best girlfirends, my aunts, my mom and sister, and my grandma.  All the people I would want to go out for dinner with for my birthday.

BlondeBride123

I'm not completely opposed to them.  I think if someone wanted to throw a 2nd shower for someone out of kindness, then it is a nice gesture.   I can also see where someone had children many years apart and was basically starting from scratch. 

What gets to me are the women who "expect" a shower for each kid they have.  I have one friend who had 6 kids and expected one for each of  her pregnancies.  It wasn't like they were all years apart.  At one point all 6 were under age 10. 

justrachet

Common place around here. Usually more like sprinkles, and gifts are usually more consumable items (diapers, wipes, toiletries) rather than baby gear.